Tank Rebuild - Panther

Factual Questions
1

I would pit them but I haven’t got the energy …

So mrAru and I settled in to watch this show on the military channel, rebuilding a german Panther hoiked out of a river in Poland. At teh beginning it was in seriously rocky shape, spalling on the armor plate, turret pretty much totally mangled. Rust, deterioration, pretty much what you would expect from a large intricate hunk or metal wood and bakelite from 60 odd years sunk in a river.

So the guys get introduced more or less. Some seriously rich guy collects tanks,. I am happy he has the money to indulge, and the space to do it.

So they are going along describing how they have this tank they hoiked out of a river and are going to renovate it. Then they casually mention that they aren’t using any sort of blueprints or manual to do it. They sort f bumble around doing stuff - at one point in time they are wasting time trying to pry bolts off so they can take something heavy off. They are spending time wondering how to do things when all they need to do is contact one of the original factories that made them [there were IIRC 4.] Germans dont throw away anything - I am pretty certain you can find blueprints and some sort of tech manual somewhere. There are enough records and people who collect militaria around that I am sure with a little work you can find them. Secondly, WTF - get a couple of tank mechanics and hull techs who actually know how to work on armored vehicles … Why in heck did they settle the turret that they had to build from scratch using a sling and a lot of hope and prayer? What ever happened to using wedges and aligning properly? mrAru replaced a submarine weapons shipping hatch in La Mad with the help of another person and not in a ship yard, using that technique.

3 freaking years to renovate a tank. Get the damned manual and some people who know how to work on armored vehicles … done right it probably would have taken half that time. It is about as brainless as that bunch of guys who build the godaweful ugly motorcycles and spend so much time arguing and wanking each other.

About the only really nice part of the program was interviewing someone who was actually at the battle that the tank got sunk in, and had a clue as to how the tank ended up in the water. If they could track him down, they couldnt track down a tank manual for the panther and a set of blueprints?

2

So the question is…?
Anyways, no idea what the tenor of the show was but as with most of these home improvement, build/rebuild and “extreme” engineering shows the bulk of the entertainment value is in the fuck ups.

It’s a somewhat narrow audience that would enjoy a precise, by-number engineering demonstration. Those shows tend to be limited to PBS.

3

As an aside, they could ask the French, who used some of the tanks after WWII and may be more likely to have manuals not burned in the factories.

4

TBH, I can understand the pleasure in figuring out things by yourself rather than “call a guy who knows this and let him do it”.

I remember when I was younger, my dad would often take me to a friend of his’ house on the WEs. The guy was re-building a classic Jaguar from scratch and spare parts, and my dad helped him. I never was into cars myself, but I still fondly remember their childish glee when something turned out just right, as well as the virulent cussing storms when the “fucking British electrical system doesn’t fucking make any sense, goddamit, why does the ignition turn on the fucking warning lights ?!”.

And I’m the same when building computers and coding… The fun part is not having a working Tiger tank, or a functionnal, if shoddy, piece of code - it’s the process of getting it to work after numerous problems, and then watching it roar around the countryside and thinking “I did that. Me. All by myself.”

5

Then maybe I am ocd or something - I spent too many years as a machinist to fuck around trying to figure out how to do something when you can grab a manual and find out how to do something correctly and to factory spec…I never had the luxury of wasting materials and money fucking projects up - when the boss needs something in 2 weeks, he needs it in 2 weeks at minimal wastage and working correctly.

6

Like others have said, it’s the entertainment value of a TV program. If they pulled it off with a team of experts in an effortless manner, where would the bleeped out “Fucks!” come from?
But I submit to your philosophical purity of engineering, meaning if you set out to do something, then get your ducks in a row and do it right the first time if possible.