TD Waterhouse can eat feces

I applied online for a brokerage account to TD Waterhouse. at the end of the applicationI put in the info to transfer funds from a savings account. The other day I saw that the funds were in my TDW account so I bought some stocks. Then today I see in my account history that the initial funds were reversed and that I was being charged a $25 fee.

I called the fecal-wipes and after 30 minutes on hold I was told that there was insufficient funds in my savings account. I replied that there was more than enough in there to cover and to check again. After 10 more minutes on hold I am told the account I was transferring from didn’t exist. When I asked what the account number was to verify that I put in the correct routing and account number the brown stain said he didn’t have access to that information. He said since the process was online, no one there had access to the information either. After further prodding and suggestions on my part, he finally said that he can have another department look into the matter. I said fine.

Then I told him I wanted him to call me back when he found out what went wrong and he said there call center only accepted incoming calls and did not make outgoing calls. Only after I asked to speak to a manager did he agree to call me back to inform me of the findings. What ever happened to customer service?

I also wonder what will happen to those buy orders I placed. I want to close the account (of course I can’t until I pay those shits the 25 bones first). I don’t know if they are going to require me to send them the money to cover the buy orders even though they haven’t completed yet. I can’t cancel them online because it says they are already accepted. I’d like everyone that works there to get dick cheese poisioning from licking the smegma off each other’s cocks during their weekly congratulatory circle sucks for screwing over their customers.

Great rant, great user name.

“I’m sorry sir, you were looking for customer service? They’ve been outsourced to India, please hold (2 hours) for the next available semi-english speaking person who won’t be able to help you…”

Ah, but can TD Feceshouse eat water?

But Sam Waterston seems so earnest and trustworthy in those commercials.

I once tried to open an account with E-trade. I gave up quickly when I realized their interface was built by a retarded monkey. For the life of me I can’t understand why paying $7 more a trade isn’t worth it for far superior customer service. Fidelity and Schwab at least have human beings and publicly available phone numbers.

How often do you have to trade to make the meager savings worth your time?

Let the record show that said company is also responsible for screwing up the best indoor arena name in the continental United States. The O-rena (where the Orlando Magic play) has for the last few years been the much more cumbersome T.D. Waterhouse Center.

Thank you for reminding me to close my TD Waterhouse account.