My sister and I sent in a tape for the Family season, along with two of our male cousins (my mother’s brother’s brats … er, kids). We would also have been called the “Black Family” (my mother’s maiden name). That would have been veeeeeeeeeeery interesting, because the four of us are approximately the whitest people who’ve ever lived. But, on the other hand: instant alliance!
As Tiffany says, “Could’ve been so beautiful, could’ve been so right,” but alas, it was not meant to be. Le sigh. At any rate, the Black family is getting much of my pre-love.
There you are, I expected you to weigh in many, many posts ago! I can’t look at the CBS site from work ('cause I’ll get caught), and I have yet to remember to check from home, but we’re going to have to start taking applications for this year’s Reality TV Boyfriend Cult.
OK … and let’s start with Team Aiello. All four of ‘em. Gotta love a gang of men who are only nominally related but willing to travel together anyway without intentionally pushing one another under a train. Plus, they’re all cuties in their own little ways (even Papa Aiello). Also, Reggie Black is a good-lookin’ fella, and clearly the heir apparent to the torch I carried for Chip and Uchenna. And we can’t count out the Linz boys just yet, although they appear to have quite a lot of teeth. Perhaps they grew up near a nuclear power plant or something … (Other Reality TV Boyfriends to be discussed in their appropriate threads, if I can find them. Lately, I suck.)
Well, evidently the Black family is taken care of in that regard.
There’s Team Pageant, of course. rockle has inspired the name Team Teeth for the Linzes.
And a whole bunch of other teams I probably won’t be able to keep straight. Of course one of the ones with a very young child may well end up being Team Whiny Brat.
My husband and I were watching the morning they had this on the early show. I remarked to him that he and my two brothers-in-law should have entered with my mother, a woman not known for her physical prowress or for her ability to withstand even minimal stress quietly.
The look of unbridled horror on his face was priceless. Come on, you’ve known me how many years and you don’t know when I’m joking?! Although I can almost guarantee that they’d be picked in a heartbeat because the drama and entertainment potential would be so very high.
They’ll have to be “Team Teeth II.” Over on another board “Teeth” was used to refer to Blake & Paige in from TAR2. Although, I gotta say, the toothiness situation with the Linzes is waaaaaay worse than anything I’ve ever seen before. Those are seriously some radioactive mutant teeth of Biblical proportions. Those might be the teeth that ate Tokyo.
Based on the picture over at CBS, I’m inclined to call the Godlewski sisters “Pinkies & the Brain,” but which one is the Brain? And am I a bad person because I instantly found myself thinking, “Damn, a team of blonde Polish women* (snerk)!”? I hope they’re smarter than their surface stats would otherwise indicate.
Upon even further reflection, I gotta say: I really hope the Blacks make it pretty far. That little one, Austin, looks like just the kind of wiseass that I enjoy watching on television. Add to that his mad martial arts skillz, and we might just have the Adopted Child of my dreams. Come live with me, Austin! The kids in my neighborhood all need their asses kicked!
[RIGHT]* = I am also a blonde, (1/4) Polish woman, so I’m allowed to make blonde Polish women jokes and you’re not. Neener neener![/RIGHT]
I had another name for Blake and Paige, based on their…um…close relationship. I seriously always expected those two to start going at it, despite the fact that they’re siblings.
Sept. 27!
With all the driving involved, this is going to be the family vacation from hell. I predict we will hear 8 million variations on “Stop the damn car and ask for directions,” “Are we there yet?” and “I have to go potty.”
Lots of the older guys look like they’re ready for heart attacks too. The patriach of Team 'Carry the Father-in-law" looks like he’ll drop dead before they get outta Brooklyn.
The USA today article says the yield will be used a lot more (good!), but I really want to know how the individual challenges will fare. It’ll be hilarious if some prepubescent squirt has to climb a castle or something
As for nicknames, there’s got to be a good one for the Schroeders from New Orleans – just look at young Hunter, probably voted most likely to shoot up his high school. That’s going to be hilarious, watching him sulk his way around the world.
It’s also going to be interesting seeing how many times the teams with teenage boys have to stop for food. Because you know they’re not going to survive on the typical Race fare of Power Bars[sup]TM[/sup] and water.
Phil: “A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. For this Detour, teams have a choice between ‘Enemy Fire’ and ‘Friendly Fire.’ In ‘Enemy Fire,’ teams must use this rock-climbing equipment to scale the castle walls to reach the Route Marker, while the historical re-enactors inside the fortress throw various period weapons at them, including arrows, fair maidens, boiling hot oil, and plague-infested cows. It could be a grueling climb, but players with good reflexes can catch the weapons and throw them back before they fall to their deaths. In ‘Friendly Fire,’ team members must be flung over the walls of the castle by this catapult operated by other historical re-enactors. It could be a very quick flight to the Route Marker, but teams will have to hope for a catapult operator with good aim, or team members could crash into the castle walls or miss the castle entirely and fall the their deaths.”
Yup, a classic Tortoise / Hare Detour … good times, good times.
I’m expecting a whole lot of “Don’t make me stop this car and give you something to whine about!”
Oooh, very good point. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a teenage boy go more than three hours without food. Power Bars su-u-uck, and they won’t be afraid to say so. I expect Road Blocks to be one family member tackling the crappy task, and the others finding the nearest McDonald’s.
And can you just hear the screams if any of the parents of the younger children speak harshly to their children or insist on them doing something they’re afraid to do? Or overprotective parents screaming because their children are being pushed too hard/too fast, which is what happens to every contestant on every race?
I really don’t know if this family edition, with kids, is a good thing. Teams of four related adults is one thing. But kids opens a whole new can of worms, and few of them tasty.
Word on the street is that the producers were opposed to the family plan from the beginning – it was the network who wanted to jigger with the formula. Friggin’ suits … still, it is possible that this season can avoid being entirely tragic. I mean, there might not be any broken oxen, but then again, we could be surprised.
Sure. I’ll admit I’m skeptical, but I’m willing to give it a chance. You can’t get interesting innovation if you’re not willing to take some risks and try things that sound dumb.
I’ve said before that I think bad TAR is better than No TAR. I just hope CBS isn’t calling my bluff.
