Then you’re not reading many threads. Most of them are regulars in GQ and valuable contributors to many threads.
What exactly are you contributing, aside from ignorance, stupidity, and stubborn refusal to learn anything from people who are far more knowledgeable than you are?
Of course he doesn’t see any of us there. We’re all on ignore.
I was hoping a moderator would come along and pit themselves with something ignore worthy! Let’s see what happens next.
Laughter, exercise for the ignore function, and something to make the most pathetic posters walk a little taller today, knowing that they are not the lowest form of intelligence on this board.
Hopefully he’ll spend the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out how to put me on ignore.
I was just thinking that if I could be arsed to put in the effort – which I’m not – we could have a really fine collection of “SamuelA’s Greatest Hits”, because the hits keep coming with almost everything the pompous blowhard posts. Here’s just a very brief sampling to give new readers an idea.
We have the fine saga of the meaning of “computation”, wherein it turns out that our resident computer science genius is clueless about what the word actually means in, well, in computer science. That summary I linked to is quite entertaining but rather long. The upshot can be summed up in this fine juxtaposition of exhibits:
Exhibit A:
Don’t challenge a computer engineer on their understanding of computation
Then, just three days later:
Exhibit B:
… I was fuzzy on the meaning of computation, from a CS course 10 years ago … 
This all came up because SamuelA was arguing against a quote I made from one of the foremost pioneers in modern cognitive science, who is apparently wrong about all sorts of things, according to SamuelA. SamuelA is very good at setting world-class experts straight on things that they got wrong.
Which led to this priceless gem:
Also, the brain does branch statements, so it meets the definition of computation and always did.
I was serious before: I really did almost spit up my drink when I read that. There’s something about the combination of pretentiousness and utter incompetence that can be really funny – SamuelA reminds me of the Peter Sellers “Inspector Clouseau” character in the Pink Panther movies.
It’s just so hilariously inept on so many levels, especially with the computational nature of mental processes being such a hot and controversial topic in cognitive science. Not to SamuelA, though. I’m now imagining that my brain just executed the statement “IF (J .EQ. 0) GO TO 23”. My brain implements FORTRAN IV. SamuelA’s brain runs the original version of COBOL 60 on a punched paper tape. It’s now clear to me that it’s all absolutely computational and let’s remember why: as SamuelA told us repeatedly, it’s because … signals! It’s all about signals, curse you all, you stupid fools who can’t see the Truth! Remember, folks, ** SamuelA** took a course on signals and everything!
Incidentally, our resident genius picked up on the idea of branching instructions as an essential part of computation only because I mentioned it here. Before that, he was insisting that computation is really just about truth tables. Given his recent misunderstanding of the Wikipedia cite about what he thought the word meant, he obviously still doesn’t know what the fuck it means.
He sternly informs us that you don’t challenge a computer engineer on stuff like this (see cite above) – at least, no more than you would challenge this particular simian on whether he even understands what the fuck a computer is. Because there’s a really good chance that he might pee on you. That’s in real life. On the Internet, he’ll pretend that he’s putting you on ignore, just as soon as the genius figures out how the ignore function works.
Then he accused me of knowing nothing about neuroscience. Funny, though, that’s not what we were discussing. We were discussing cognitive science. He doesn’t know the difference – he just pulled a word out of his ass at random – so we get the familiar backpedaling that we see SamuelA doing so often:
Cognitive science is just philosophy without considering the neuroscience underneath it.
I’m sure that cognitive scientists everywhere will appreciate this stunningly brilliant insight, especially after they learn that “the brain does branch statements”. One can use it to develop many other important corollaries in the sciences, such as: “Computer science is just philosophy without considering the semiconductor fab processes underneath it.”
Oh, and having gotten the concept of “computation” out of the way, SamuelA is also pleased to define artificial intelligence for us:
just big mathematical algorithms that explore a solution space
Now think about this for a minute. This is what the moron just said: “Artificial intelligence is just big computer programs that give you answers to stuff.” I am in awe of his brilliance! That statement is, of course, both useless and wrong on so many levels, just like his description of the brain which apparently runs FORTRAN or something.
With nuggets of wisdom like these, the world is now a better, more enlightened place. In fact I think we can anticipate a galaxy-wide infestation of autonomous self-replicating robots any day now.
And thenthere’s this:
My standardized test scores reveal you are the one who must be stupid.
That one doesn’t need a comment, it’s kind of like when you have a puppy that isn’t completely housebroken and he takes a dump in the middle of the kitchen floor. No commentary required, it’s just there: a steaming turd in the middle of the floor, a sad and pathetic testament to failure.
But I hasten to add that it’s not just in technology that SamuelA excels. He has given us wisdom on a wide range of topics. Over here I felt obliged to comment on one of those pontifications, wherein he says:
But it’s not inherently unjust, per say. One tenant of capitalism is that you get what you are able to pay for
The most interesting part was the ensuing conversation, where he claimed that “tenant” was just “a typo” and not an actual mistake from ignorance, because SamuelA does not make mistakes. And he was very clearly, he says, using “tenet” correctly.
Yeah, just like “per say”, and I think that deserves a special note. The actual Latin per se, which is used to mean “intrinsically true by itself”, literally means “through itself”. This leads to another wonderful Latin phrase that perfectly describes SamuelA and everything he posts: * per rectum*.
I can see him glancing at people’s posts in this thread between thumb and forefinger and saying “I’m ignoring you! I’m ignoring you!” while squishing his fingers together.
They are the ones ignorant, not me. Someone smart reading my posts would realize that. You are obviously not smart enough, so ignoring.
Oh noes, I can’t, you’re a mod. Welp, guess you get to shove your ignorance in my face if you want.
Well, you may have broken your ignore feature. If you can still see him, you’re reached your max allowable ignore entries. You have to pay to be a Charter member for more.
The irony just burned a hole in my best shirt, dammit!
Actually, there is a way to put a mod on ignore.
He’s never gonna figure it out for himself-just tell him and put him out of our misery.
Hi there, SamuelA!
My name is andros. I don’t post much, which is undoubtedly why you are–as yet!–unaware of my ineffable ignorance. I’m a mouthbreather. My idiocy is literally astounding in its Zen-like purity. I can barely boot my Windows Vista computer, and I think that Internet Explorer is “the internet.” Not to mention all the toolbars that cover half my screen. I went to a movie–the sign said “Under 17 Not Admitted” so I left to get 16 friends. I finished a puzzle; the box said “3-5 Years,” but I managed it in 2. I’m dumber than a dodo who was just awarded “Dumbest Dum-Dum of the Millennium” by Dumb Magazine.
As a New Year’s favor to me, an idiot, would you kindly put me on your “ignore” list? Pretty please? It would mean so much to my family.
Word of advice: do NOT drink liquids when reading SamuelA’s posts. It can be deadly to keyboards, and require otherwise unnecessary laundering of shirts.
To be fair, you’d ignore yourself.
What was it again…
“I don’t know, 'bout anybody else
But when I think of you, I ignore myself”
I can’t decide at this point. Is he honestly trying to “ignore” us or is he trying to be funny? Ha, ha - ignored another one!
The best part is you can say stuff about him that you know he’s reading because either he can’t figure out how to use ignore or he’s too starved for any kind of attention that he’s not really putting anyone on ignore. And he can’t respond because it would show he’s a vain little goober, so I imagine him spraying spittle on his computer monitor down in his mom’s basement thinking up killer responses that he just can’t use.
You ignore us for a year and a half, then waltz back in, expecting to be promoted to his ignore list just like that? Pay your dues, good sir!
(And welcome back!)