Whoa. . . suspended? This in no way at all affects the contest of “When Will SamuelA Be Banned?” All you have to do is post a prediction. To open the playing field, I’m modifying my guess to August 18th. To enter: all you have to do is predict the date this troll will be permanently banned. The prize: a bag of Cheetos!
Well, a few folks have asked me for the rules to the contest. After running it through the TripCo® Legal Department, we’ve established the legalese. I promise this is far less dumber, but far more entertaining than reading one of his posts . . .
::ahem::
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The contest you are entering involves wagering a date (or dates) of the Straight Dope Message Board (SDMB) ™ banning the user account of one, SamuelA, with the prize being awarded of one 8 ounce bag of Cheetos (any flavor or variety). Prize will be awarded by the announcement of the user account banning by the date/time of the post announcing that banning. The contest host, Tripler is in no way connected with the moderation of the SDMB™, and is a participant in the contest.
Contest Eligibility
This contest is open to legal residents of the Planet Earth, not including SamuelA, who are at least seven (7) years of age at the time of entry. No purchase is necessary to enter. Making a purchase will not increase your chances of winning. This contest is void above the Kármán Line, between the space of SamuelA’s ears, and where prohibited by law. Hands-free operation (i.e. no mobile telephone use during operation) of vehicles and heavy equipment is required because safety is paramount. Employees, officers, and moderators of the SDMB, their respective partners, agencies, related companies, and agents, as well as the immediate family (defined as parents, spouse, children, siblings, and grandparents), and same household members of such employee, officer, and director, are not eligible to enter. It’s kinda “iffy” if applicable federal state, Tribal, and local laws and regulations apply. In other words, 'Do not pass “Go,” and do not collect $200;" have a Cheeto.
Contest Entry
This specific contest entry requirements involve only posting a guess as to when SamuelA will be banned. All entries must be made in conformance with the relevant contest’s requirements. One entry per Doper, but it’s on a first-come, first-served basis. You can change your date entry at any time, so long as it’s open. Non-conforming entries will be rejected and ineligible for contest prizes. Any entrant using fraudulent means to participate and/or win the contest will be disqualified. Buckle up, because it’s the law. Any attempt by an entrant to undermine the legitimate operation of the context may be a violation of criminal and civil laws, and this includes you, SamuelA. Tripler reserves the right, in his sole discretion, to cancel, modify, terminate, or suspend a particular flavor of Cheetos for any reason and without prior notice. In such case, Tripler may, as appropriate under the circumstances, select a contest winner via reasonable means consistent with the specific contest. Why? Because of course he fucking can.
Winner Selection and Notification
The odds of winning are pretty fuckin’ good. The winning entry or entries for a contest will be selected in compliance with the terms of the specific contest. Tripler will contact contest winners by posting in the thread to confirm a winning entry.
The potential contest winner will forfeit the prize if he/she (1) does not respond to the initial notification email or return any required information within a 30 business days, (2) cannot be contacted through the SDMB, (3) rejects the prize or the prize is returned as undeliverable, (4) is a sock of SamuelA 'cause Lord know’s he’s probably got one, (5) claims that those members of LesserWrong “might actually be on to something. . .”, or (6) is disqualified for any reason. In the event of prize forfeiture, an alternate winner will be selected.
Winners are solely responsible for all intergalactic, federal, Tribal, state, Provincial and local taxes and all unspecified expenses or fees associated with prize acceptance, receipt, and use. Winners are solely responsible for providing their own napkins during consumption of the Prize. Prizes could be substituted or transferred by any contest winner for any convincing reason, and a winner may receive cash redemption equal to the value of the prize in lieu of the prize. Tripler reserves the right to substitute alternate prizes of equal or comparable value, but probably won’t because hey, how cool would it be to have a box with a bag of Cheetos arrive on your doorstep? Prizes are offered “as is” with no written, express, or implied warranty, including but not limited to, quality, condition, merchantability, or fitness for a particular purpose. Tripler is not responsible for replacing prizes as a result of damage prior to, during, or after shipping or events beyond his control, including Acts of God, Acts of Dog, rebellion, insurrection, faulty engineering design or contractor workmanship on both Death Stars, or Acts of God’s Dog. Winners must look to the manufacturer or service provider for any potential warranties or guarantees. Your mileage may vary, and remember, only you can prevent Forest Fires.
Release
By entering a contest and, if applicable, receipt of any prize, each entrant and, as applicable, winner agrees to release and hold harmless Tripler, the SDMB and its officers, directors, employees, and agents from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in a contest or any contest-related activity, or from the receipt or use or misuse of any prize, including claims or causes of action related to alleged damage to an entrant’s computer or electronic systems from downloading or using any material from the SDMB website, regardless of whether the material is connected to the SDMB website by a hyperlink text. This paragraph shouldn’t need to be here, because we’re not going that fucking deep into details, but hey, the TripCo © Legal Department recommended it. And if your that goddamned fragile of an ego to raise a claim for losing this contest, then SamuelA, you shouldn’t haven’t participated in the first place.
Disputes, Choice of Law, and Venue
Except where prohibited by law, entrants agree: (1) any and all disputes, claims, and causes of action arising out of or connected with a contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, via mutual combat with picked herrings as refereed exclusively by SDMB moderators (2) any and all claims, judgments, and awards shall be limited to actual out-of-pocket costs incurred, but in no event will attorneys’ fees be awarded; if you need a lawyer for some motherfuckin’ Cheetos, you’re doing it wrong; (3) no punitive, incidental, special, consequential, or other damages, including without limitation lost profits, may be awarded (collectively, “Special Damages”); and (4) entrants hereby waive all rights to claim Special Damages and all rights to have such damages multiplied, increased, derived, integrated, or otherwise fast Fourier transformed. Snacky law governs this contests and all aspects related thereto, including the construction, validity, interpretation, and enforceability of these Official Rules. By entering a contest, entrants agree to submit to the personal and exclusive jurisdiction of the Courts of Public Opinion, Esteem, and Ridicule, located in the Electronic Ether of the Internet.
Use of Collected Data
Tripler might—just might–collect personal data about entrants for purposes of administering prizes, if you’re really hard pressed for a bag ‘o’ Cheetos. By entering into this contest, entrants agree that Tripler will PM you for a mailing address should you win. Tripler does not, and will not, disclose entrants’ personal information to non-affiliated third-parties. Besides, the party will be at your place with your fresh, new bag of Cheetos.
Miscellanea
If you’ve read this far, this sounds pretty awesome, but pretty boring. This contest is in absolutely no way sponsored by the SDMB™, its agents, moderators, Ed Zotti, or anyone else. It’s just for fun, so don’t get yer knickers in a twist. Just enjoy a Goddamned Cheeto.
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Oredigger77, did you have a specific date in mind?
Tripler
Keepin’ it leeeeegal, yo.
