well, I hope it’s all right for a relative newcomer to post a new topic.
I like anime (Japanese animation) and post at several message boards on that topic. Many posters are teenagers, the average age being about 15. I’ve sort of become a cyber mom, I guess. In any event, there are a number of “couples” if you will - two teens who decide that they are having an online relationship.
Now, my thought would be initially that this sort of thing would die rather quickly, as you can’t interact with the person in real life, and the likelihood of doing so is slim (e.g. there’s a male in Florida devoted to a young lady in Chicago). However, it occurred to me, that an online relationship for teens might actually last longer, because you don’t have to deal with things (like parents, or friends’ reactions). But at some point, the couple has to decide what to do. By the way, some of these “relationships” have lasted upwards of 6 months or more, which is much higher than the 90day average of high school dating relationships in real life.
For someone who needs a person to interact with on a daily basis, online romances can be a boon. But, as you say, there has to be a deciding moment (or message)… back in the day, I had a decidedly non-active relationship go virtual. Ecch. Never again. It was nice to have this guy’s support and chatter every day, but there are some things that a computer screen doesn’t convey. And kissing the screen gets it all slobbery and gross
I dunno. I met my GF on the internet (I am not, nor was I at the time, a teenager). I guess it depends. If they’re a 13-year-old girl who has not developed feeling for real boys in the real world, but is instead holding onto young-girl fantasies about love, no big deal. If it’s an 18-year-old guy with no other friends or healthy female relationships, yikes.
I guess it really depends on what other behavior it’s paired to. Internet romances are not in and of themselves bad, even long-term, even for teenagers. But if that relationship crowds out the possibility of real life dating, etc. then the whole panoply of symptoms should probably be axamined.
How about this: I agree with whatever someone who likes Gunsmith Cats as much as you do has to say.
Personally, I don’t think they’re bad. Of course, the Internet is dangerous, but then again, so is real life. In all of my online relationships (and one lasted 6 months; another became a serious & fast friendship that’s lasted for 2 years and will become IRL soon), I’ve made sure to research the person. Make sure they’re telling the truth.
And no, I didn’t close my IRL dating options.
So no, I don’t have a problem with them.
I was in an online relationship a long time ago. I live in Oregon, and I met a girl from California when I was 11 (!). She was actually really great, and we talked all the time. Eventually we sent each other letters, and actually talked on the phone a few times (so don’t say she was some 40-year-old guy posing as a teenage girl, I knew her. Really.) I never did meet her iRL, and we were “seeing” each other for over a year, but our relationship ended. Actually, it just sort of fizzled out of existence, and I haven’t heard from her in a while. We never officially broke up. I’ve unsuccessfully tried to stalk–uhh, I mean FIND–her, so I can talk to her, but I have no idea where she is now.
…but that’s a whole other thread.
The point is, teenage online relationships are usually pretty harmless, unless the person does something really really stupid. I wouldn’t try to condone/discondone(What’s the word I’m looking for? It’s not “discondone,” but that’s as close as I can get to an antonym for “condone”) them, but teenagers - and everybody - should probably be careful.
Well, when I was 15 I met a kid named “slacker_97”. He was 18. We were just friends, he had another girlfriend, who also happened to be online. But the more I talked to him, the stronger my feelings grew. I mean, we were talking every single day, for about 6 hours, but sometimes as many as 12. (I had so much free time because I lived miles from civilization at the time, and it was summer). So anyway, I really began to think that he was the one for me. Eventually, he broke up with his GF, and decided to be in a relationship with me. A month later we met for the first time.
That was almost 3 years ago. In 6 months we’re going to get married.
Good thing or bad thing? I think it’s a wonderful thing, but hey, that’s what worked out for me.
You gotta problem wit dat?
I met my GF right here on this very MB. She’s in New York, I’m in Texas. But she’s going to Mississippi for college in the fall, so well be able to see each other sometimes We’re both 18, BTW
[hijack] Why are pen-pal romances (actual, snail-mail letters) more accepted than online romances?
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Only 8 more months til I get to see her IRL!
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We’re both 18, BTW