Well, ladies?
What if the ladies like Janet?
It’s Janice, not Janet.
I’m a Zoot girl. Can’t explain why, exactly, but there’s something about him and his sax.
Robin
Robin loves a man with a big…instrument.
What about Rolf? As long as we’re talking Muppet musicians here.
Zoot reminds me of Leon Redbone. I could make sweet music with a guy like that. Or at least get jammed.
An-i-mal! An-i-mal! Hahahahahahaha!
Band members get more action than lounge performers.
Interesting question!
Animal is arguably the best dancer, as he knows how to really dip his partner, if with an abnormal degree of exuberance. OTOH, he’s a hyperactive maniac of a drummer with impulse control problems, minimal conversational ability and a voice almost too raspy to understand. And although he’s understood to be a “human” Muppet, given his enormous, brachycephalic head and crude, hemispherical wedge of a mouth, he’s really more humanoid than human, even for a Muppet. When you further consider his unkempt, abnormally hirsuit features and his raggedly downmarket couture, he doesn’t make for a particularly attractive date in the eyes of the average girl.
By contrast, Dr. Teeth is a smoothly articulate bandleader, keyboardist, and singer with a flashy, signature stage persona. Unfortunately, he’s got the standard Muppet moonface and has what suspiciously looks like a permanently stooped back (maybe even a hunchback) and a case of middle-age spread. What’s more, he wears his flamboyant, signature stage clothes (which could be described as Elton John crossed with an explosion in a taffeta factory) offstage 24/7, which could make nights on the town a little more fabulous than desirable.
Zoot is more normally human in appearance, both in his physiology and dress. His personality is subdued, his stage presence understated, and his clothes and body coloration muted. With his eyes often hidden under the wide brim of his black hat, Zoot will always remain something of an enigma, but that’s in keeping with his trademark brand of cool – a poise occasionally upset when he uncharacteristically blows a wrong note, as he does at the end of the show’s theme. (FTR, Zoot is an otherwise excellent saxophonist, although he does miss that one note at the end of every single show.) Unfortunately for the ladies, Zoot is also in an undefined but regular relationship with fellow bandmember Janice, a hippy chick who is kind of Joni Mitchell-like, only with less of a chin.
Last but not least, there is the guitarist Floyd, he of the “Sgt. Pepper”-knockoff red Nehru jacket. In contrast to Zoot’s cool, Dr. Teeth’s flash, and Animal’s unrestrained anarchy, Floyd Pepper is the self-styled epitome of “perpetual grooviness” [to paraphrase his words from memory] and has even developed a signature style of groovy walking (grooving?), combining a shoulders-back posture with a slide move which a Minister of Silly Walks would approve of. Floyd’s purple eyebrow tufts and nasal high tenor of a voice might not appeal to everyone, but he has the most finely articulated and humanlike features of the band. I happen to find his appropriation of the psychedelic-era Beatles style of dress (right down to the blue granny glasses) endearing, even though those glasses hide his eyes. Unfortunately, aside from his 60’s affectations, Floyd Pepper doesn’t appear to have much of a personality or even necessarily a brain. One fears that his character has dropped too much acid and has suffered permanent neurological impairment as a result, which may limit his long-term appeal to most of us ladies.
So, who would I pick? It’s a tough choice: Dr. Teeth is physically unattractive, Floyd’s an acid casualty, and Zoot’s taken. That leaves Animal, and I must confess that given the little guy’s oversized personality, uninhibited libido and general lust for life, a girl could do much worse! 
BTW, was Animal at least partly inspired by Keith Moon?
Despite my self-identification as a heterosexual male, I’d like to break Zoot like a shotgun.
Hmmmmm…tough one between Floyd & Animal…
How about both?
Well Animal is the kinkiest of the bunch… he comes with chains already (His leash or whatever that this is)
Sadly, I believe I’ve dated all of them at one time or another.
[ul]
[li]Dr. Teeth took me to Paris and bought me my first pair of Manolos, but he left me for a Liberace impersonator with lifetime tickets to every Clay Aiken concert ever.[/li][li]Zoot comes off as terribly cool, but he’s really incredibly shy and completely unable to make a decision about anything, including who should pay on a date, or even whether or not to have dinner.[/li][li]Floyd was in and out of rehab twice, he never bathed or did laundry (and that Nehru jacket was rank), and the last time I saw him he took my credit card and my sister to Mexico to go on “walkabout.”[/li][li]Animal, as you might expect, was a magnificent beast in the sack, but he also tried to eat my cats, he threw his hi-hat through my TV once too often, and his excessive hirsuitism got me blackballed by Roto-Rooter.[/li][/ul]
So, with whom did I end up, after all was said and done? Scooter. Now there is a man who appreciates a good woman, even if he does still have a disturbing affinity for sun visors. (We’re working on that in couples therapy.) Earnestness never really gets old.
Careful with these muppets, ladies, you’d hate to get gonzorea
Zoot, definitely. I think I had a crush on him when I was eight.
Easily cured with a shot of Puppetcillin. I wouldn’t worry too much, Taber. I heard that those Muppets are only into handjobs, anyway.
Well, this was true, particularly in season 1, where they were seen dancing together in nearly every episode, however later episodes make it clear that Janice and Floyd are an item.
As for me, I’m a Zoot fan. But then we are also leaving out an oft forgotten band member - Lips (the trumpet player from season 2 onwards). For his hair alone, Lips certainly deserves a mention and careful consideration.