Telecommuters reentering the working world: A guide

After three years mostly working from home, I have switched jobs and now have to go into an office on a regular basis. I offer this handy guide for those facing a similar situation.
[ul]
[li] Your commute will increase exponentially. Plan accordingly.[/li][li] Pants: mandatory.[/li][li] Showering frequency will increase.[/li][li] People will appear in your workspace and start speaking to you. Don’t be alarmed.[/li][li] Lunch will now require going outside, and may in fact be a social occasion. [/li][li] Music / TV is discouraged. You will need to set recordings for shows airing during the workday.[/li][li] Farting and burping should be kept in check.[/li][li] Try to avoid talking to yourself.[/li][li] You are going to be at the mercy of the weather - suggest layers / umbrellas / shoes and socks. You will also not control the thermostat.[/li][li] Internet surfing / computer games may get noticed by other people.[/li][li] Bathroom availability may be an issue - don’t wait until the last minute. Keep it short; no reading material.[/li][li] While others will share the coffee making duties, you are at the mercy of their brands and brewing schedules.[/li][li] There are no laundry facilities. Plan ahead.[/li][li] Heads-up: that’s a SHARED printer.[/li][li] You have the ability to leave your workspace and talk to other people. While this may take some getting used to, it is usually faster than email. Additionally, people may find it odd that you are emailing them when they’re five feet away.[/li][li] Your pets will not come when you call them. They are not present.[/li][/ul]

More updates as events warrant.

Can I have your old job?

I telecommute part-time.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Your commute will increase exponentially. Plan accordingly.[/ul][/li][/quote]

In my case, it’s a helluva commute.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Pants: mandatory.[/ul][/li][/quote]

I tend to wear clothing at home, so no biggie.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Showering frequency will increase.[/ul][/li][/quote]

Only I can’t stand not being clean, so it’s not a problem.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] People will appear in your workspace and start speaking to you. Don’t be alarmed.[/ul][/li][/quote]

This is an issue. The other day it took 90 minutes before I could get to work. Usually it’s 20 minutes. I like to jump right into my work, so it’s better when I work from home. But I don’t want to be rude.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Lunch will now require going outside, and may in fact be a social occasion.[/ul][/li][/quote]

When I work from home I tend to stay working. I like going to the office because I get outside there.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Music / TV is discouraged. You will need to set recordings for shows airing during the workday.[/ul][/li][/quote]

Not a problem. My coworker doesn’t mind my eclectic tastes in music. I tend to DVR most things I want to watch anyway.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Farting and burping should be kept in check.[/ul][/li][/quote]

Fortunately, I’m not much of a farter.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Try to avoid talking to yourself.[/ul][/li][/quote]

No.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] You are going to be at the mercy of the weather - suggest layers / umbrellas / shoes and socks. You will also not control the thermostat.[/ul][/li][/quote]

As long as my clothes are clean, I’m good.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Internet surfing / computer games may get noticed by other people.[/ul][/li][/quote]

I spend less time surfing than my boss does. In any case, I usually have plenty of work. Last week of the month is dull though.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Bathroom availability may be an issue - don’t wait until the last minute. Keep it short; no reading material.[/ul][/li][/quote]

Mostly women in the office. Men’s room is nearly always free.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] While others will share the coffee making duties, you are at the mercy of their brands and brewing schedules.[/ul][/li][/quote]

If only the others would MAKE A NEW POT WHEN THERE’S LESS THAN A CUP LEFT!

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] There are no laundry facilities. Plan ahead.[/ul][/li][/quote]

Got 'em at my house. Clothes can dry while I sleep.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Heads-up: that’s a SHARED printer.[/ul][/li][/quote]

Not mine! :smiley:

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] You have the ability to leave your workspace and talk to other people. While this may take some getting used to, it is usually faster than email. Additionally, people may find it odd that you are emailing them when they’re five feet away.[/ul][/li][/quote]

I prefer email. I wish others would use it instead of coming to my desk!

[QUOTE]
[ul][li] Your pets will not come when you call them. They are not present.[/ul][/li][/quote]

I have no pets.

I’ve been freelancing full-time for 14 years now; I’m afraid that I’ve been ruined for Real Jobs. Almost all of those are dealbreakers. :smiley:

Au contraire:

Everyone has head phones, so no one will notice if you talk to your self, or watch The Guiding Light.

Everyone really prefers email; it gives them time to find that file without you hovering over them and answer you at their convenience.

Lunch is never social; it’s still work.

When you are important enough, you get pets; they are called ‘reports’ and they had best come when you call (preferably by email).

And if you have a good network that’s hooked into your phone system, you can work from home and no one will notice.