I wish you best luck in the future, you sound like you will be a fine parent… I worked from age 15 to age 37, when I got married and exactly one year later got pregnant. My job had gotten super-stressful, they were trying to get rid of people and so the jobs of the people who were let go were piled onto the jobs of the people who stayed there. So, I gave up work and became a SAHM, always planning to go back to work even part time (but it didn’t work out as I would have had to go back to school, and nice little part time jobs didn’t grow from trees!)…My husband had/has a good job, so we really didn’t need two incomes. I’m very very cheap and not materialistic, and had/have everything I could possibly want, within reason…I don’t like living out here in the suburbs, luckily there were a few kids in the neighborhood to play with my little singleton. Sleepovers, birthday parties, movies, plays,trips to the park, the ice cream stand - and gymnastics, dance lessons and recitals, Girl Scouts, religious ed classes - the early years were quite busy, and looking back, a LOT of fun for the whole family. We went on modest vacations around NY state and spent time on a relative’s farm…I am a loner by nature, could always amuse myself, and really liked being a SAHM - I had a couple of mom-friends to socialize with on occasion, but I enjoyed having the house to myself during the school day. Loved cooking and baking, didn’t mind laundry and cleaning (once the coffee kicked in), liked grocery shopping and errands, keeping things organized, keeping the house running. I never exactly killed myself doing housework! Clean bathrooms and kitchen, trash taken out, clutter picked up every day didn’t take THAT long. I could read, go for a walk, go to the gym, read, work on hobbies, or even take a nap, woo-hoo!..I did get a couple of “so what do you DO all day” inquiries from working women who assumed I must be some poor simple-minded creature incapable of holding down a ‘real’ job. Didn’t bother me none, THEIR kids were in expensive day care 12 hours a day and living on convenience food and McDonalds…I’ve done a ton of volunteer work in my copious spare time, helped out at my daughter’s school, been a Friend of the Library, taken care of many pets, done errands for sick and elderly relatives - kept pretty busy in a low key way…I missed working terribly for a couple of years, of course. I’ve suffered stress, illness, worry, and lots of boredom, but at least I haven’t had that AND working on top of it. My husband tells me ALL the time how much he appreciates all I do for the family - it’s odd how we seemed to have turned into the 50’s type families we both grew up in. But it seems to have worked out well for us. We are quiet loners, all of us, (our daughter of course is young and gets out of the house a lot) and don’t seem to need a lot of outside people and activities…So, I would say, if YOU are the antsy type who needs a lot of socializing, activity, have to keep busy all the time - if your children don’t plumb wear you out - you may not like being a SAHM. But if you are more laid back, can entertain yourself, appreciate the little things of life, and don’t positively loathe cooking and cleaning, it can be a lot of rewarding fun to be a SAHM… Worst thing: occasional loneliness/boredom/drudgery. Best thing: raising an awesome, beautiful, smart daughter. (And never having to get up at 6 a.m. to drive to the office in a f’ing snowstorm!)
Thank you for letting me run on regarding this subject, hope it helped, and good luck with your future family.
My children are very good at playing independently because I didn’t worry about entertaining them all day long. They knew that I had my time and they had theirs. It works well until the fights break out and then I have to play referee.