I am so sick of hearing it. Ever since my kids were born all I’ve heard is “When are you going back to work ?” In the past it’s bothered me, but I could largely ignore it, but it’s getting harder to do.
My husband always told me he supported me staying home to take care of the kids and the house. It worked for him too because he work really long, hard hours as a truck driver and is unable to ever run simple errands or make phone calls. But latley, the people he works with keep asking him the same thing,“When is she going to get a job?” “What does she do all day?” As a result, my husband has gotten on my tail to get a job. We’ve been having really horrible fights about it. He just doesn’t see my reasons for wanting to continue being a stay at home mom. He says that all of my reasons are just excuses. Wanna hear them ?
First, we live in a very rural area. Our neighbors are not really close by. I am scared to leave my kids by themselves. When I was their age, I did stay by myself, but we had neighbors that were SAHMs that I could and did go to if I needed help. My neighbors also cooked dinner for my sister and me.
Second, I have no job skills. I graduated from high school, but I’ve had no other education. I have looked into going back to school, but we honestly do not have the extra money for it right now. I would only be making minimum wage.
Third, I would have problems with child care. The nearest friend I have could only watch my kids on an occasional basis. She lives 27 miles away, has 5 of her own children and MS. I would not make enough money to pay a daycare or a sitter.
Fourth, my husband would not take on any of the housework if I worked. When he first began taking to me about this, I explained my concerns and told him I would look around to see if I could do anything, but I would need him to take on some of the housework. He slammed his glass down on the table and said that if he’s going to be required to do housework he would leave me and do it by himself.
Fifth, I am good at what I do. I don’t sit on my ass all day long. I volunteer at school, I’m a brownie leader and I work with my son’s youth group. I read the kids books every morning when they eat breakfast. And my daughter has a reading disability, so I help her with her reading every day, even in the summer time. Additionally, I do everything ! I do all the phone calls, banking, meetings, housework and errands. My husband has a reading disability also, so I help him with his paperwork every night .
It’s not as if I do nothing to contribute to our income either. I crochet blankets and sweater and make decent money at craft shows. I also sell a lot of things on Ebay.
We’re not rich, but we’re not poor either and I don’t see any benefit at all with me returning to work. My husband says we could use the extra money. What extra money ? If it all goes to child care and fuel, where would there be extra ?
I’m fucking busting my ass here every day, doing fucking everything ! I even asked my husband if he wanted me to work so that he could take a different job where he wouldn’t have to work such long hours. He said no, he likes his job and would not look for anything else.
What the fuck happened ? When did being a housewife become such a bad thing ? It’s news to me, I’ve been going along thinking that I was doing the right thing for my family. But everyone else thinks I just a lazy ass pig, watching soaps all day and eating bon bons.