I’m thinking of donating my eggs to infertile couples because I am broke and not willing to be a prostitute. I know that the payout depends on actual selection by a recipient couple. So, even if I get on the potentials list, I might not get chosen. But, I think I’ve got pretty desirable genetics.
I’m aware of the need for multiple injections and office visits, and I’ve got pretty good idea of the actual collection process.
As I understand it, these are the main pros and cons of this proposition:
Pros:
I win on the Darwinian measuring stick
Monies
Cons:
Possible unknown consequences to my future fertility/health. But, if I understand right, these links are not scientifically supported. I would like to have children myself some day. I’m not adverse to adoption, but part of me would be sad to know that was my only option because I once needed a few thousand dollars.
Complete and total freak out if anyone in my family found out.
Does anyone here at The Trusted Dope have more insight on this situation? Anyone donated themselves?
I’ve looked into it but it is very, very difficult to actually be selected for the process. Essentially if you are a young, fit, attractive woman who has no history of family illness you could make some money this way but if you are less than a perfect specimen they aren’t really interested in your eggs.
Beyond your inherent physical yumminess, from what I’ve read scoring well on the SAT and being enrolled in in an elite college are the main selectors. The college is a big deal for the really big payouts.
Be aware that harvesting eggs is a somewhat invasive physical process. It’s no-foolin’ cut you open surgery, and you dont make more of them like a man makes sperm. An egg removed is an egg you will not have to procreate with…
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I’ve head of elite women getting up to $50,000+ or so for their eggs, but that seems like an upper bound.
I don’t mean to pry, but are the only remaining options on the table egg donation and prostitution? Because I’m thinking that maybe there’s some third or fourth choices being glossed over here.
I haven’t donated, but I’ve done IVF, which is basically the same process.
It is surgery, of course it hurts somewhat. You are under anesthesia during the actual extraction, but it’s a bit uncomfortable for a few days afterward. I bounced back very fast - I was back at work the next day with no problem - but different people recover differently.
You need to go in for monitoring appointments pretty much every other day while they are watching the follicles grow. If you are unlucky enough to get ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), my understanding is that it is about as painful as really bad cramps, plus significant ovarian swelling. This should be preventable with the right drug regime, but everyone responds differently.
I didn’t get that far with fertility treatments, but was taking some of the same drugs (they are fifteen year old drugs - they’ve probably changed)…
It wasn’t painful. But the drugs made me INSANE. Like PMS, but much worse. A big reason we stopped going down the fertility path and went the adoption path was because I was becoming such a raving bitch - plus they triggered my depression - that it wasn’t healthy for my mental health or my marriage.
There are new drugs available, but the old ones are definitely still used. I was injecting a drug made from the urine of elderly Italian nuns. :eek: I was a little more volatile than my norm, but not too bad. I know that some women really go around the bend on them, though.
I’m another one who hasn’t done egg donation but did do IVF.
Personally, I vowed never to go through another egg retrieval. I was very bloated and uncomfortable leading up to the procedure from the injections I was taking to stimulate my ovaries to mature my eggs. I was out for the actual retrieval (although I’ve read that some clinics only put you in twiligh sleep). For me, the recovery after retrieval was very painful. I had cramps like I’ve never had before, became even more bloated, constipated…all of it. And nothing seemed to help.
Also, there is the risk of OHSS (as mentioned above) which can be very serious and land you in the hospital and cancel your entire cycle.
Of course, YMMV (and it obviously does from some of the other responses here). I would also point out that most agencies won’t take you if they sense that money is your main motivator.
Frankly, no clinic would pay me the amount of money it would take to convince me to go through that again, especially for a stranger.
Technically, it’s really big needle, not an incision. And a normal woman will have about 300,000 eggs, of which only 400 or so would ever ovulate over the course of her life.
The drugs are large doses of hormones to stimulate the development of several eggs. There are lots of shots to be administered at home; be sure you or someone close to you is able to do that. Some women will react very badly, some less so, and some won’t feel much at all. Same is true for the recovery. My family member who did it was sad off and on and mildly bloated during the month, and crampy for a day or so afterward, but she didn’t find it incapacitating, and indeed did IVF a couple of times.
Unless this has changed in the last few years this was not my experience. I went through the process to donate while in college, and so did my best friend. We both were chosen very quickly (I was in good health generally and was in college, but not an ‘elite’ one.)
I actually backed out right before actually starting the physical process (but after being screened and counseled and had a couple interested in me) because the timing wouldn’t work for me. I was getting married that summer and egg retrieval time would have basically been my honeymoon…no thanks. But I was up front about the timing being an issue for me and they just couldn’t make it work.
My friend went through it all and did donate. She reported being uncomfortable, some parts are a pain for sure, but I guess I would compare it to a short pregnancy. Your body is kind of taken over for a bit but then it’s done. The actual retrieval is the worst part by her telling it. In short, it’s not a walk in the park, but most women go through it just fine (I don’t know that many would want to do it over and over though…but if they payoff is worth it to you that helps.)
I looked at the risks back then (this was in 1999) and wasn’t overly concerned about it affecting my ferility (and I would have remembered because I definitely wanted children of my own).
I do wonder about you doing anything for money that your family would really disapprove of. Be sure this is not something you might regret later when money is not as big of an issue. It doesn’t pay enough to be life-changing. I would encourage you to be able to feel morally ok with anything you do for money.
I did IVF not donation, but I’d describe it more like menopause than pregnancy. Basically you need to start with a cycle or two of the pill to get your cycle regulated.
Then you are placed on a drug that shuts down all of your hormone production, so you can get things like hot flashes, severe headaches, mood swings, nausea etc. The egg stim process involves lots of needles, and more than likely several dildocam experiences as they check to see how things are growing downstairs.
As the eggs grow, your ovaries swell to several times their normal size, and you can experience bloating, the odd feeling of them bouncing around inside, and weight gain.
The egg retrieval is a day surgery procedure most likely involving a light general anaesthetic, with nausea and disorientation on waking, and then mild to severe pain and some bleeding for a day or two as your body recovers. The way the eggs are collected is with a fine needle through the wall of your vagina up into each follicle in your ovaries, many times over. How you cope is very subjective. I went back to work the next morning feeling fine - others need several days of bed rest.
As for side effects, don’t underestimate ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) - it’s potentially life threatening, and while they monitor you for this it can happen without a lot of warning - chances are greater once you’ve had egg collection and they are no longer monitoring you.
I was advised to do little vigorous exercise during my cycle so it will have a 2+ month impact on your day-to-day life too.
And in the end, you might have very little to show for it! I have polycystic ovaries (normally around 25 each side) and they were very conservative with my drug regime. We went into egg collection thinking we’d get 10-15 eggs, and we got just 4. You may need to go through the process a few times - up to you whether 6 months of your life for 2-3 cycles seems worthwhile.
Plus, think very hard about the fact that you are actually giving away half of a potential child of yours. That may not be an issue for you, and if so great - there are lots of couples that need eggs desperately. But don’t head off into this simply thinking about the drugs and the money payoff - that all just masks what you are actually doing. It may affect you more than you think.
I’d second others’ suggestions that there may be other ways to make money - maybe not as much, but with much less physical and emotional impact.
Unfortunately, physical *and *mental health aspects are taken into consideration. Otherwise, I’d be a surrogate in a heartbeat. Physically, I’ve barely had more than a few colds and some stitches. Mentally, OTOH … anxiety, depression, ADD, family history of addictions … not so desirable!
I had a friend donate eggs. She’s a very good looking girl in her early 20’s. She is naturally slim and doesn’t really need workout. She only has an associates degree and works in a law firm in downtown Chicago as a paralegal. She was selected rather quickly, about a couple months after applying. She got somewhere between $7k and $8k.
Every month or so after she was selected, she would stop by the egg donation place and pick up a box of syringes and drugs that she had to administer to herself every day. She couldn’t have sex the entire time she was on these drugs because she was hyper-fertile. Fortunately, she was single at the time.
Fortunate for any boyfriend, too. The hormone swings were brutal. Jokes she used to laugh at suddenly sent her into fits of rage. Every word out of her mouth dripped with sarcasm when she wasn’t upset over offending one of her friends. She was sexually frustrated because she would get desperately horny, but couldn’t do anything with anyone but herself.
She got a new job and doesn’t ride the train with us anymore, but she was contemplating doing again before she left.
I know men get paid for donating sperm. I don’t know if I could do that.
Yes, the symptoms do sound more like menopause. I just compared it to a short pregnancy because of the care you have to take with your body. It’s like being pregnant in the sense that you have to think about everything you are doing in terms of how it will affect someone else, your body is not really your own during that time.
I would hazard a guess that women also respond to it very differently, like pregnancy. Some go through it pretty easily, for others it is very hard on them. The risk you take is that you won’t know until you do it.
My advice to anyone considering it, is if you are unsure or hesitant then don’t do it (at least until you can think about it more.) Think about how you may feel now and also later about having a possible biological child that you have no contact with. For some people biology is a bigger deal than others. I know the money can be tempting for someone struggling, but this is something you may be thinking about long after the money is gone.
I hope I am not coming off anti-donation…obviously I was going to do it myself. But there can be things you might not think about right away, even if the physical process goes smoothly, that come up later.
Thanks for the input, everyone. I forgot how similar it is to IVF and that clearly has a larger base of people to quiz.
Money isn’t my only motivation, but it is my main one. $5-$8k would completely obliterate at least one of the large credit cards I am currently struggling against. It’s not enough money to change everything, but it would make a significant difference.
Helping infertile couples conceive is also nice. Although I know that if I was in their shoes, I would adopt a lot sooner than I’d use a surrogate’s eggs. There are just so many kids who already exist who need good homes.
The biological-kid-whom-I’ve-never-met thing is a little disquieting, but not fatally so. It would be a huge deal to my parents and extended family because they are very much “our blood kin” kind of folks. They do not approve of adoption. I take that back. They think it is a nice thing for other people to do, but they would never do it themselves. Plus, I am an only child, and my parents have been waiting very patiently for grandchildren. It would bother them to have mysterious grandkids in the great unknown.
I think I’d get selected fairly quickly. I’m tall, not ugly, and have been healthy mentally and physically aside from needing glasses and braces. I have a doctorate from a respected university in a solid field. I’m currently fairly well respected in my job. I’m 28, though, which may be a bit old for a donation.
The no sex plus mood swings might be problematic for my husband. Yes, we’ve discussed this option at length. He actually thinks my unique genetics deserve to be represented by more offspring than we are likely to produce ourselves. He also thinks his genetics should be helped along by him donating sperm.
