Tell me about getting old

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

No, this is true. My point is that at 24 it’s ok to not have your shit together a little bit. And when I say “shit not together” I’m thinking of a college grad maybe living in a crappy appartment drinking a bit too much with his friends and trying to figure out how to get out of the crappy job he hates. I’m not talking about being a total dropout crackhead.

At 37 I can look back and say that it was fun and exciting being 24 and looking towards the future, being on my own, starting my first real job in the big city and whatnot. But I can say that now because I have the benefit of hindsight and knowing how everything eventually turned out.

62

I’m 38 and consider myself to be young. You could not pay me enough money to re-live my 20s. UGH!!! NO THANK YOU.

63

Being that I am in my 80th year, I guess I can tell you my opinion of getting older. We all start getting older from the day we were born, To me the ER in older stands for emergengy Room, when you can’t be helped there then you are old, and after your are dead they can say that person was old!!

Life is what you make it. I (and my husband) still are very physically active. we went through the depression and hard times but manages to keep on top of things. It is not your age that makes you feel old, it is your attitude, and since you are younger than my grandchildren to me you are still like a baby in comparison.

We just finished cutting up trees that fell in our yard and did all the lifting etc. ourself. keeping active is important. We still do all the things we did when we were younger, it does take us longer but we have a lot of tme to do the things now, so no need to hurry.

I wish you a happy and long life, then you will look back and wonder why you felt old at such a young age. Think of the alternative!

64

Wow Monavis, I thought Klondike Geoff was our tribal elder. I didn’t realise we had another member in the same range.

Good on you for being so active.

65

If I remember right, Klondike is a little older than me. I had a friend who died at age 96, would have been 97 2 months later, she shoveled her side walk and her neighbors when she was 95!

Activity is good for so many things. I was told by a doctor years ago, that keeping physically active, and a positive out look was one of the best health clubs there were.

One learns their limits and that is also a help.

66

I am so sorry to hear of what you have to go through. We have a family friend who has Muscular Dysthropy, she spent a lot of time with us when she was in her teens, She couldn’t walk from the time she was 4 years old. Never once did I hear her complain, she needed a head rest to support her head as she had limited neck muscles. Although she lived in a wheel chair when she visited us she spoke of going to dances etc. She got a college degree from the University of AZ. Used and aid during her college years, she married had 2 healthy children, is now a grandmother, and is head of the California State handicapped division. A fablous person. One has a hard time talking with her and even consider that she is handicapped. She is 55 and needs her husband to feed her , but she says, I still have a good mind,good eyes, ears and can speak. She accepts her limitations,but says all people have some limitations.

We have a grandchild who also has MD and never complains although she has had several serious operations some lasting 14 hours, the last one almost claimed her life, they had to stop the operation. Her lung collapsed a couple of years ago and she needs a breathing machine at night. She has a good attitude about life and does what she can from her wheel chair, and helps others in any way she can. Her mind, eyes,ears, and speech are also good and she once said at the age of 13,I know there are things others can do that I can’t but I can do things they can’t. Not once did she ever complain, even when she was very little and had to wear a heavy plastic brace just to sit up. These two are hero’s to me, just as the soldiers who have been injured in the war fighting for the rights we have, even the right to complain about what we don’t like.

67

A wonderful film which deals with being old is The Straight Story. One short scene deals with it directly (when a group of young bicyclists ask Alvin what it’s like to be old), but much of the film is about it in one way or another.

Oh, and the Simon and Garfunkel album Bookends has some wisdom about the subject, albeit from the perspective of a couple of twenty-somethings.

68

From my experience I think that it’s a damn good idea for a 24 yr old to ask about this. I’m 51 and I can say that there are varying levels of shitiness and goodness that can happen to people through life. You have to strike a balance between preparation for the most comfortable old age possible and practicable; and, as a previous poster said, having a supply of good memories and experiences.

I think my situation offers me a good viewpoint. I was an overly critical, judgemental, cynical asshole who suddenly recognized this in my mid 40s. I was also afraid of failure and afraid to try new things. At 47 I started getting anger management counselling with a psychologist (there are a pile of family background issues) which has been a god-send. Throughout all of this I have been married to an incredibly wonderful woman but I did not make things easy for us. So here I am, no longer a cynical, overly critical, judgemental asshole who still gets tune-ups, via webcam, with the psychologist. The problem is that I now can look back at a life which, in my opinion, was significantly wasted. Because of all my traits I can’t even imagine how many people I’ve hurt or pissed off, not to mention damage I then did to my future (ie now).

Physically, up until a few years ago, I was cycling 40 to 60 kilometers daily and I had five different bikes and I had a few close friends who were similarly capable. At 47 my lower back and knees started to crap out and my cycling is greatly reduced. Of my cohort of fit friends my age I am the first to start degrading physically - I have one good friend who is 52 or 53 who, with some other 50s friends routinely goes for 50 to 100 km rides.

I have another friend, my age, who has watched his wife die of some mystery illness over the last three years.

At the same time, despite my behaviour, I’ve done reasonably well. I have more regrets than complaints.

All this to say:

If you think you have anger issues or confidence issues (I’m not saying that you do) get them sorted out.
Try, do, see, listen to, as many things as you can as long as your not hurting anyone.
Find a good financial planner now and start managing your money. Start now and you won’t have to sacrifice as much.
When you’re thrown into crappy work and social situations (ie horrible boss, unpleasant family gatherings) think carefully about what you are getting from them. Early on you might learn important things from them but, later in life, you might rightly decide that there’s no value in wasting your life with these things.

My apologies for the long windedness.

69

You know what happens?

One day you’re 17, then you blink and suddenly you’re almost 50.

Fuck.

Back pain. Heartburn. Eating spicy or fatty food bothers you and you have to eat anti-acids or gas-x. It isn’t pretty.

You find yourself passing up sweets for more savory choices, your drink preferences change every few years to something dryer.

Oh, and the kids, good lord, their hair and music sucks ass.

Other than that, everything is pretty much the same. I still drive too fast and want to skydive, someone’s just going to be calling me grandma when I do it.

70

Today is my 48th Birthday.

Like the others said.

I got some physical aches and some old injuries that haunt me. Happens. You get you used to living with small amounts of constant pain.

I was an angry young man all the way up till my 40’s. Now, very thankfully, all that passes and I find that I don’t have time, energy or interest for the anger, for hatred, for being bothered by a lot of things.

Part of that, like with a lot of other things, is EXPERIENCE. When you get older, if you’ve really done any living and no I don’t mean “done a lot of really cool stuff” but rather, if you’ve experienced a wide variety of mundane shit beyond being locked into one job, one thought pattern; then you have experienced a lot of different things and know how to react to them. You have a better idea how to deal with some things - and this is the KEY that is the most valuable thing in the world in my opinion - you know how YOU are, what your capabilities are, what you like and dislike, what you want out of life, what your values are and are able to make decisions for good or ill based on that self-knowledge without a lot of the fear, anxiety and self-doubt that accompanies large and/or unpleasant situations and decisions earlier in your life. Doesn’t mean that there won’t still be fear, anxiety and doubt, but that you’ve got a lot larger pool of previous experience to deal with in helping you navigate those waters.

71
72

and don’t forget the sunscreen.

73

Ooh, that was Soooo close to the perfect response…

My understanding is that the perfect response for this situation was given by that great philosopher Milton Berle. Uncle Miltie was in a slump careerwise, and his agent had just hired a new youngster to resurrect his career. The youngster went into a long spiel concerning the things they were going to do to turn Berle’s career around while Berle stared at him in astonishment. When the youngster finally stopped talking for a minute, Berle said:

 "I've got **ties** older than you."
74

You just keep up those happy thoughts! The cliff is ahead and hits around 8th grade. :smiley:

75

IMHO you have put this perfectly. Really, it’s fantastic.

OP: I think a lot of people go through feeling this way in their early to mid-twenties. You’re really just getting the feel of being an adult and seeing adult responsibilities.

76

When I turned 30 my mom told me she couldn’t trust me anymore. :slight_smile:

Seriously, I’m 34, and I’ve really only started settling into myself in the last couple of years. I somehow have a much firmer sense of who I am, though I can’t put it into better words than that. It’s awesome. I had no idea I’d rather enjoy my 30s, really, I had no idea how it’d be.

77

I have found in my life, that as one looks back, the pride one had in solving the hard things and going through them with an open mind, and determination to solve them ,brings a sense of pride in what one is made of, the easy things in life were not a challenge so I do not put any stock in them.

The old adage: When one goes through the fires and survives, you can tell the strength of the metal!