I read about this a long time ago and can’t remember if it was a supposedly true story, or just funny. I hope it’s true.
Youngish couple appear before the judge (or whoever it was) in his office and rather obnoxiously make it clear that they want to get married with the bare minimum of hoopla.
He asks them: “Do you want to be married?”
They answer: “Yes.”
and He says: “You are.”
Great stuff 
We’re actually having two; one official one here, and one for her family out on the beach in Rhode Island.
I think for #1 we’ll just use a Judge, and #2 we’ll fine a humanist officiant who feels right to us.
I’m not a fan of writing vows, so I’d love to find something historical or traditional that’s super simple…similar to the Quaker.
In California, there’s no prescribed marriage ceremony. So, basically, you can do anything you want as long as the two of you, the officiant, and at least one witness agree that what you did was get married.
We got married at a local aquarium. it was awesome. It was beyond awesome. All kinds of museums, restaurants, historical home and Park facilities are suitable for weddings, some at surprisingly reasonable costs.
Note that Town, City, State and Federal parks will all have different rules, facilities, and rates. So don’t think that just because Park A has crazy parking rules and doesn’t allow alcohol, does not mean all parks have the same rules. In some cases the rules depend on the time of year – we rented a beachside pavillion for the rehearsal lunch, and we were allowed to bring in a caterer because the concessionaire on site was closed for the season. If they had been open, we could self-cater our own food but no commercial vendor could be on site.
Others have touched on the options for secular officiants. friend via internet church, justice of the peace where that exists, and humanist officiants are the major categories. I don’t think anyone mentioned that in Pennsylvania, you can have a self-uniting marriage (no officiant needed).
We got married in our living room (having already lived together for about 15 years prior to marrying). Officiating was a friend, minister in the Universal Life church, and her partner, another woman, who took the photos. (Happily, a few years later they were able to marry each other.) The minister had already adapted the traditional vows to have absolutely no got in them, so that was easy. It was lovely.
Yup. I’ve been married twice, once in California, where a bunch of vague and amorphous words were spoken and a form signed, and once in Florida, by a Notary Public. A Notary Public accompanied by a dog, as a matter of fact. No mention of any deities.
We got married on a JP’s terrace, under the changing leaves, in the afternoon shadow of the mountains.
Our witness wore clothes bleached to white, for tradition.
We got married in our backyard. My sister paid a fee to the Universal Life Church so she could officiate.
During the ceremony, the groom’s brother brought him a suitcase of Legos from the groom’s childhood, and the groom’s sister brought me my typewriter, in a suitcase-like case. My sister, the officiant said a few words about learning to communicate with each other, speak each other’s language. I took the typewriter out of its case and handed it to the groom. He put it in his Lego suitcase. He grabbed two handfuls of Legos and I held out my typewriter case and he dropped them in. Shortly after, we kissed, were pronounced husband and wife, and carried our suitcases up the steps to the gazebo at the top of a hill in our backyard while my uncle played “Top of the World” by the Carpenters on a keyboard.
I got married by an officiant.
Overlooking the ocean and a pretty beach / cove 10 minutes from where we lived at the time, with 13 guests. The ceremony was short and sweet. No ‘giving away of the bride’ BS, no walking down the aisle - well, there was no aisle and we arrived together in the same car. Very brief vows that we wrote (much briefer than the traditional vows), then the celebrant did a very short reading. It took longer for us and the witnesses to sign the paperwork than do the actual ceremony. Then we all headed to a waterfront restaurant for a feed. Was very special to us, but also very brief and non-traditional. No mention of religion anywhere, no mention of ‘death do us part’, no ‘love and obey’, etc.
We had a traditional wedding at an event venue that did both ceremony and reception on site. Our officiant was an ordained minister, but I forget which church. We told her that neither of us are religious, so she kept the ceremony almost entirely god-free. She insisted on mentioning god once or twice. As we were both raised Catholic, this was considered a major departure from the norm in our families, and was probably considered “secular” by most of the guests.
We were married on a paddle wheel boat that used to be near where we were living and both grew up. The Mayor of my In-Laws’ town preformed the ceremony. The ceremony & reception were both on the boat. It was a simple ceremony but a fun party. Our alternative was going to be an old club building overlooking the bay or a historic house on the same bay.
I think we had about 80 guests total. Mostly family of course and some friends.
Was married at the courthouse by a very cheerful judge. The courthouse, incidentally, was an eight story office building, didn’t really look like a courthouse. I think I got married on the fifth floor.
We had a very mixed wedding. We were married by a Hindu priest and a Unitarian minister. If you’re going for secular, I’d highly recommend the Unitarian minister. Ours was awesome - very chill and told us explicitly that we could be as secular or religious as we wanted. God or gods were not mentioned at all in our vows with him.
We rented a large house for our wedding and hosted a big dinner.
Incidentally, this was in addition to, rather than in lieu of, a traditional chapel wedding. The chapel wedding took much longer to plan, and we needed to get married quickly for administrative purposes.