Tell me again what it is that you do?

[Hampshire]

What’s so difficult about saying “We solve problems.”
Their statement as written says to me “We talk a lot more than we do.”

[jerez]

It’s the solutions business, of course. In the right context and with no specific information, it could sound creepy.

[Kent_Clark]

@wolfpup

It’s almost perfect, but a phrase like “state-of-the-art support service” veers a little too close to standard English and risks accidentally conveying comprehensible meaning. Instead of their competitive advantage being “in providing state-of-the-art support service”, it should be in “providing state-of-the-art paradigms”. I’m delighted to learn that they leverage things and integrate things strategically, since a mission statement is not a mission statement without things being leveraged til they break, and strategic strategies coming out the wazoo.

Another weakness, though, sad to say, is that they claim to do stuff “to bring about measurable results”. This is an unfortunate slip-up in otherwise excellent drivel, since claims of measurable results can be, like, measured – again, it starts running too close to potentially being meaningful. What they actually should be aiming to do is bootstrap leading-edge initiatives to create synergies. I’m sure they could leverage their own synergies to come up with something even better if they called an all-hands and blue-skied this out of the box.

State of the art is just so stagnant. We need to be cutting edge, or better yet, bleeding edge. And support is much too dependent on whatever “primary” is. Give it its own specialty, like “back-office.” Finally, service sounds like something someone would actually do. Better to call it either strategy of tactics depending on how long-range it’s going to be.

“Bleeding edge back-office strategies.” Doesn’t that sound better?

[jz78817]

@Hampshire

What’s so difficult about saying “We solve problems.”
Their statement as written says to me “We talk a lot more than we do.”

's like Bob Lutz talking about seeing GM’s “mission statement.” it was basically a 6x6 matrix of all of these basic concepts (promote diversity, maximize synergies, yada yada) most of which had nothing to do with the company’s core business. When Ed Whitacre got a look at it, he’s supposed to have said “get rid of all that crap. Our mission is to make the best damn cars and trucks in the world. Done.”

[peedin]

I hope they enhance the user experience.

[rbroome]

@SpoilerVirgin

Writing this stuff is my job. I make an effort to be coherent and use as few buzzwords as possible, but I still get people coming back to me all the time saying that it needs more “synergy” or “proactive”. Sometimes I just have to think of it as a creative art form.

Ouch. You have my sympathy.

[jtur88]

Just a couple of weeks ago, my eye was caught by a very formal looking poster outside the city hall, which went to a great deal of detail to describe the wages and benefits, and detail the qualifying criteria to be possessed by the successful candidate, but said absolutely nothing about what the job is of what the worker would be doing.