My boss gave me two tickets to a Gala Event this weekend, and the invitation says “Black Tie Optional”. It’s dinner and dancing, and there’s a blurb that says, “Wear your dancing shoes!”, however, I have NO CLUE WHAT TO WEAR!!!
Does Black Tie Optional mean I SHOULD wear a gown, or not? Help!!!
I’d think you’d be fine with a cocktail dress, like a classic “little black dress.”
(Found that link doing a search for “cocktail dress,” so I know nothing about the company.)
“Black tie optional” means “black tie.”
It’s just safer that way.
Better to be overdressed than underdressed.
In my experience, “Black Tie Optional” means that almost all the men will show up in very nice suits and dark ties, and almost all the women will show up in cocktail dresses.
“Black Tie” = tuxedos and gowns.
“Black Tie Optional” = dress very, very nicely.
Sure, you can show up overdressed, but I find it much more embarrassing to overdress than to underdress.
I’d say this is your opportunity to let out your inner diva – gown, boa, elbow-length gloves. A tiara.
Seriously? If you really want to dress up, this is your chance. Go for it.
I would have thought a cocktail dress would have been underdressed for black tie, and an evening dress/gown would be better. But that could just be us repressed Brits. 
Do you want to be sexy, flirty, impressive, or dominating?
You really get to choose as a woman the image you put out at these events. And cocktail dress to gown gloves and tiarra are all acceptable, but just project the immage you want to project.
Men have subtle ways to project image in such events (bow ties, cumberbunds, three peice instead of two piece suits…) , but in general the men should not stand out or detract from the womens clothing expression
In my experience Black Tie Optional means the men can wear suits if they don’t have a tux but you’ll see 90% of the women in gowns.
In my experience “black tie optional” means:
Unless you’re the under-18 son of an actual invited guest, or wearing a military dress uniform, you really should wear a tux, you hopeless slob. You can wear your dancing shoes, but we expect those to be patent leather dress shoes. Women can wear either a gown or a cocktail-length dress, but they better be able to carry off whichever one they choose.
What the hell kind of idiot sends out “black tie optional” instructions?! Tell the guests what’s expected of them, fer chrissakes, so they don’t feel like idiots when they show up.
Incidentally, “black tie” is semi-formal, “white tie” is formal, anything else is “casual.”
I’d go with a cocktail dress for this. (You are a guy, right?)
I would suggest a long gown as opposed to a cocktail dress. Just don’t go over-the-top with sequins and beads, and you won’t look overdressed.
For instance: this instead of this (yeah, it’s a sight to see).
Oh, I dunno, avarie, I kind of like the second one.
You could even skip the tiara.
If it’s “black-tie optional” and not a holiday party or huge charity event where plates cost thousands of dollars, go with a cocktail dress. Depending on your age and body type, you could probably even wear flowy, black slacks with a sparkly top or jacket. Something like this.
If it IS a holiday party or huge, expensive charity event…go with a gown.
Men should wear a dark suit and dark tie (again – if it’s not a holiday or big charity event) but you’ll probably see a mix, with the most important men in the place in nice suits, making all the guys who rented tuxes feel uncomfortable.
Stupid “black tie optional,” why don’t they just say “cocktail attire”?
It is a big charity ball thing…the consensus appears (among my non-doper friends) that I should wear my black gown. I’ll skip the tiara though. 
I was wondering if pants were acceptable at big galas like this. I’ve not been invited to one, and I probably wouldn’t go if I was, but if I did find myself at one, would dress pants be acceptable or would I be “the one who didn’t wear a dress”?
Actually, the invitation only specifies TIES, and there’s no mention of pants–if they’re required and color specifications.
So, to answer your question, um…no, pants aren’t necessary.
Ok. How do I get invited to an event where “pants aren’t necessary”?? Sounds like loads of fun. I swear, the only things I’ve ever been to have absolutely required dressing from the waist down! I am so going to the wrong parties. 
I recently went to just such and event IN England, WITH a repressed Brit .
And I would say the men’s wear ran toward some form of formal wear shading into nice suits. And the women to a few actual gowns and a lot of nice dresses.
I went for the little black dress thing and got compliments on it…
So count me among those who say if you don’t want to wear a gown, you don’t have to . Of course if you already have the gown…what the hell.
Do me a favor and wear color, though, okay? All the women wear black and it’s so boring. 
“Black tie optional” to me means a woman may wear an appropriate cocktail dress, but a ball/charity affair/holiday party suggests evening wear.
If I did not get clear instructions and had to wing it, I will feel absolutely unconcerned and blame my host. But yes, if you expect a dress code, proclaim one. Only they’ll probably throw in one of those new made-up dress codes “Business casual”, “Business”, “Dressy Casual”, etc. Bleh and Feh and Meh.
I had heard that it was further divided so full suit-and-tie was “informal” and jacket-and-slacks was “casual”. But that was like, before the Fall of Western Civilization. And of course YMMV if you live in a place like, say, Key West, where you probably DO have to specify if pants are required.