Well, you can pitufar a alguien al pitufo, but if you add a few more complements it gets really [del]confusing[/del]pitufoso.* ¡Me pitufo en el pitufo de la pitufa que lo pitufó, en la pitufa que le pitufaron al pitufo que lo pitufó, y en los pitufos de todos ellos!*… blep?
Oh, and nalgas are buttcheeks. The other kind are mejillas.
In Colombia, ‘publico’ with a long ‘u’ is a whore. That’s what our spanish teacher from Bogota told us.
I know (mujer) pública for whore (it’s the expression used in older versions of the Bible, for starters), but it’s the first time I hear mention of a “long u”…
Probably a local trait? Similar to the differences in:
Papa [father]
Papa [the Pope]
papa [potato]
Especially in this alternate spelling 
“chinga” and its derivatives sounds Mexican for other Latin Americans
“coño” sounds Spanish, it is the word you use when you want to pretend you’re speaking like a Spaniard.
“cabrón” always sounds foreign. In Perú “cabro” (and "chivo) , both meaning goat, mean sissy. In Chile, “cabro” means “young man” or “boy”.
In Peru
“Vete a la reconcha de tu madre” (lit. go back to your mother’s big cunt)
“Ándate a la puta que te parió” (lit. go to the whore who gave birth to you)
“Ándate a la mierda”
Genreral expletive
“(re) Conchatumadre”
“Huevón de mierda”
“Me llega a la punta del pincho” (I don’t give a fucking damn)
My mother in law uses as a ,very minor insult to one’s intelligence “Anda a bañarte y tómate el agua” (go take a bath and drink the water). “Anda a bañarte” is a minor version of “go to heck” but my MIL’s version is nicer.
“Miércoles” replaces “Mierda” is nicer settings.
“Imbécil” or “Estúpido” (“estúpido” is a very strong word, nothing like stupid in English)
“Manicero” (lit. peanut person, it means “you have a tiny dick”)
Only, those are either phonetically identical (all llanas) or the only difference is in stress (in some locations, the first one would be the aguda papá): Spanish doesn’t differentiate vowel lengths, there’s no “short u” and “long u”. I think it may have been more a matter of trying to put things in terms of “English phonics” (and yes, I do remember you’re from the Philippines - but I don’t imagine the teacher would have been very familiar with Tagalog or Pilipino before moving there, so (s)he wouldn’t have been aiming for those phonics).
Yea, except that the Caribbean speakers sound nothing like Spaniards, and happily say that word in their day to day lives.
Oh, I was so happy to see my Cuban friend, and hear that word, and all conjugations of the word joder.
I know coño is used elsewhere, but it’s the go-to word. If you want to sound Cuban you finish every sentece with “chico”.
Chupa mi verga.*
Suck my dick.
*my husband was uncertain of the spelling
When people pissed me off in traffic, I usually yelled “Vete a la chingada, pendejo(a)” - go to the fucked one, asshole, more or less. Don’t do it much anymore.
actually, the n word isn’t a curse word, it’s a racial slur, and an unforgivable one. My dad was one of the few egalitarians of his generation of Texans, which is pretty much my main inheritance. By the way I forgot punyeta (or punyada), chaqueta and pelarse, which all refer to jerking off. Pelarse means to peel or strip, and is used as the word for milking a farm animal, just as an American farmer calls it stripping milk. This usually refers to having the glorious act performed upon you by another. Punyeta I think refers to the adjective for handful, and chaqueta is just picking up on vulgar english. Obviously I haven’t spent enough time around Mexican women to know how they curse, but have been assured they do. Mapache is raccoon in Spanish, and is also used as a milder form of the n word, so watch out.
Your husband’s spelling is fine. Verga can also mean a cane/rod, as in “whipping”.
Ei, we’re cussing in Catalan now! 
Puñeta’s clean meaning is “the cuff embroidery on the robes of lawyers”. Sending someone “a hacer puñetas” (to make puñetas) is telling them to get off your face (you’re giving them a task that would take a long time).
Lace, sorry, not embroidery. Usually it’s the kind you make with a thin hooked needle.
The cufflinks too. The fancy ones that needed the lace.
But hacer la puñeta is also to masturbate.
Not reflexive? Here I’ve always heard it reflexive.
My bad, I do usually hear it a bit reflexive when talking about someone. But I’ve heard it without it when just mentioning it as a meaning.