No, actually here is a reason that people don’t mix rum with gin… and then drink three glasses of it.
This is not a good idea.
This is not a good idea.
This is not a good idea.
Do NOT try this tomorrow night…
My dorm room, many years ago. Across the hall, someone is playing a tape or CD of a live band jamming somewhat incomprehensibly.
Friend: Who is that, anyway?
Me: The Doors?
Friend: No, it doesn’t sound like The Doors.
Ten seconds later: Organ riff from “Light My Fire”.
Mom: “Honey, don’t toss Baby Guin over your head like that-she just ate!”
Dad: “Don’t be silly, she’s not going to-AAAAWWWW SHIT!!!”
My dear SO of many years used to have this bad habit of playing with knives while he was cooking–he’d flip them around and juggle them and basically do the ninja nunchuck type moves with them and I was always convinced he was going to do himself a damage but he never did. One day he was doing this standing in the living room watching an interesting item on TV and for some reason I finally just had to speak up and I said “Dear, you really shouldn’t play with knives like that, some day you’re going to hurt yourself.” Much pooh-poohing ensued with lectures about how ninja masters don’t hurt themselves with knives, etc. I replied with “Yes, I know dear, but it’s really bothering me right now seeing that eight inch bladed chef’s knife flipping around in front of my line of sight, would you please desist?” Of course, manly men never give in right off the bat no matter how reasonable the request is or how mildly phrased, and so a final flourish or two was *de riguer * before he could actually pretend he was tired of playing and stop…and of course right then the knife plunged into the meat of his thigh, about an inch and a half of blade driving in about an eight of an inch under the skin. He didn’t scream, I’ll give him that, and I said absolutely nothing but “I’ll get the bandages, dear, you hold this towel over it and apply pressure, okay?”
Hasn’t played around with knife since that I’ve seen! 
Also didn’t blame me for the accident, to his credit…
My favorite ‘instant karma’ story.
I’m in the mall having lunch, and a grandpa is walking along with his grandson. Grandson’s just past toddler age, and starts running at something shiney he sees in a shop. Granpa says, “Whoah! Don’t run here, you might slip and fall!”
Just at that moment, another kid, grandson’s age, comes -tearing- by them… And slips, face-planting.
There’s a moment’s pause, the fallen kid starts bawling, and grandpa says, “Just like that.”
I damn near choked on my sandwich I was trying so hard not to laugh. Grandson gets a “Wow! Grandpa is really smart!” Look in his eyes and takes grandpa’s hand, walking along with him slowly.
Never mind that the whole family and anyone who ever met him thought he was a complete dick; FROM MY SISTER’S OWN MOUTH it was obvious that he was the wrong guy for her. She complained about how he treated her (badly and borderline abusive), his asshole friends, his drinking, his lack of intelligence, his incompetence in bed, etc, etc, etc. I tried showing her how her own words showed that she should NOT be with this guy. But oh no, he needed her to save him :rolleyes: and if she loved him enough he would change for her :rolleyes: and besides, if she dumped him now, the three years she already spent with him would be wasted. :rolleyes: (As opposed to the rest of your life?)
So they got married, big frou-frou wedding. That was seven years ago. The divorce was last week. Two kids. 
I have never uttered the phrase and have been completely supportive. (And during the marriage, I never said one bad thing about him, and she never griped about him to me – except maybe a little at the end. I had told her beforehand that since she hadn’t listened to me about dumping him, I didn’t want to hear one complaint when he started getting on her nerves, because I’d already warned her.) It was actually a huge surprise – I assumed she’d stay married to it no matter what, because a divorce would be too embarrassing. I say good for her for coming to her senses.
You’d think you’d have both learned after the first time…
