When you make a rental car reservation, you are guaranteed the car your requested. If you get there and the car is not available, they have to hire you a limo, but they cannot offer it to you if you don’t have limo insurance. You must ask when making the reservation for the limo insurance coverage. It’s an extra $1.49, but that might increase soon. Also, you cannot rent a yellow car from any U.S. based rental car agency. It is prohibited by federal law.
We have made contact with extra-terrestrials. Instead of invading the Earth and killing the humans, they have replaced the greatest minds in the world with carbon copies of these people. The only difference is that the carbon copies are blathering idiots. The rest of the world’s population was required to attend re-education or face a horrifying and painful death. Following the re-education, all memories of the invasion were removed. Only one person was left to share the tale, and he will know when the time is right.
SSG Schwartz
We did not land on the Moon, but Stanley Kubrick filmed an elaborate movie version of it to scare the Soviets.
Kennedy was not killed by Lee Oswald. I can’t say anymore.
9/11? Bush did it…with Cheney’s help!
My great grandfather invented the five. As in gimme five, man.
Well, my grandfather invented the number five. Before him dividing ten by two was like dividing by zero.
Thing you didn’t know about those “Nutrition Facts”:
Riboflavin is actually an enzyme extracted from beaver tumors.
Ascorbic acid is a highly diluted form of scorbonium oxide- a key chemical component of stomach acid.
Most foods sold by major supermarkets contain significant percentages of dihydrogen monoxide, a chemical compound that has been associated with the deaths of thousands of people world-wide. And yet, most of the time DHMO isn’t even listed in the ingredients! One spot of good news is that the freeze-drying process seems to get rid of most of the DHMO in a product.
And the isthmuses have peninsula envy.
90% of U.S. bills in circulation have minute traces of cocaine. More interestingly, but much less well-known, is that 100% of nickels are covered in a fine layer of pure black tar heroine.
Don’t worry. Monster Island’s just a name. It’s really a peninsula.
^ Best username/post combo
I’m wearing Jimmy Joe’s pants.
But did the bees enjoy it? :o
A single black widow can kill an elephant with one bite and live long enough to feed off of its remains until all of its flesh is consumed.
It is illegal in Gorham, Kansas to light a candle on Saturday. The town’s founder and first mayor, Walter H. Gorham, considered it to be bad luck to light a candle on Saturdays and thus passed a law declaring this practice illegal.
While it has since been disproven that a duck’s quack doesn’t echo, it has been determined that this once-accepted phenomenon applies to a goose’s honk.
I’m not wearing The Weird One’s pants.
Argent Towers has too much time on his hands.
Okay, veracity of that one’s not so dubious. 
When I was a kid, I was told (I know, I know) that during a thunderstorm, the wind pushes all those big clouds around, and when they bang into each other, that makes lightning and thunder.
The sad part was I believed it for years. Some kindly aunt made a comment during a storm about “the angels in Heaven are bowling” and I was all, “Ha! I know the truth!”
I can’t take credit for these, but they’re too good not to share.
Cats will never face the setting Sun.
Ferris wheels were originally invented to be elevators in front of tall buildings.
Hens raised in the dark lay eggs that have white yolks.
No Satanic or black magic ritual involving sacrifice or bloodletting will work if an iron knife is used; iron is a powerful magic nullifier. It has to be a stone knife.
John F. Kennedy’s cortisone treatments had left him prone to fits of mania, and his assassination was arranged to prevent his ordering a nuclear attack on the USSR.
The character of Indiana Jones was loosely based on an actual archeologist who covertly worked for the British intelligence services in the 1930s.
Nearly everyone in the world is at least mildly allergic to wheat.
The spot in central Asia that is the furthest land in the world from the open ocean is exactly on the other side of the globe from the spot in the Pacific that is furthest from any land.
The last time a British monarch exercised direct power was in 1943 when George VI overturned the court-martial of a navy lieutenant whom he felt had been unjustly convicted of dereliction of duty. Thereafter, the power of the Monarch to grant pardon was restricted to capital cases only.
Only one species of butterfly, found in Malaysia, does not have a larval caterpillar stage.
I was told the same thing, and likewise believed it until I learned otherwise, several years later. I’m sure my dad knew, at least roughly, what causes thunder and lightning, but it’s a bit complicated to explain to a young child. I can’t claim to have more than a vague grasp on it myself, and if pressed to explain it to a little kid, I’d probably fall back on the “clouds banging together” explanation. :o
There are plenty of people who actually believe this, or that humans weren’t “meant” to eat wheat and it should not be a human food.
I’m not sure about the British intelligence services bit, but I think the rest of that is true.