I suffer from a disorder known as Congenital Clumsiness, inherited from my mother. Both she and I are frequently victims of “tromedies” (traumatic/comic accidents.) I am also Cosmically Fucked, meaning everything I touch will behave in a bizarre fashion, and I attract weird shit like an electromagnet.
To list how many things I have accidentally broken would take more bandwidth than this board currently can support. Thus, I will mention only the important things.
I work in a museum, possibly the worst place of employment for a person with CC. Thus far, I have broken two artifacts. The first was a toy wagon which dated to the early 1800s. As impossible as it sounds, it simply came apart in my hands as I carried it. Cosmically Fucked, I tell you.
The second happened in a storage area. Though my actions now make me cringe with embarassment, since no one saw me, I simply reassembled the item and walked away. My curator lifted it the next day, and when it “broke” he assumed that he had done it. Shamefully, I said nothing.
Years prior to this, I broke a shelf of my grandmother’s Hummel figurines through a series of unfortunate events. I locked my keys in the house, decided to crawl through a window, forgot the alarm was set, and neglected to notice that the window was too high for me to crawl through easily. I had to grab a neighbor’s lawn chair, and with the alarm wailing, I squeezed through, fell, and landed on the shelf just as the cops arrived. That was an interesting conversation, let me tell you.
In my home, I’ve broken dishes (generally it happens when they’re full of food), glasses, appliances such as a TV and a sewing machine, knicknacks and on one memorable occasion, a bed. (No, you dirty-minded thing, not like* that*. I was jumping on it, trying to swat a hornet.) I’ve also broken my car several times, running into various things.
I’m a dangerous person.
Those things bite!
Besides, it was in the game room, so there.