How was he taken advantage of? They guy asked him, “Hey, can I do this?” And he said yes. There isn’t anything in his post to indicate that the guy tried to intimidate him or bully him.
I hate this. The thread did not ask for your advice. And the OP definitely didn’t ask to have his intelligence insulted. The OP sets the frickin’ topic. Anything else if off-topic by definition. At no point was the question asked “Do you see anything wrong with what I did?”
Your posts are the ones that are out of line here. I suggest the OP not answer you at all, as there was nothing about what you said that was not intended to make the other person angry. And you know what that means.
I thought it was written Mrs Happy! :o :smack:
I was about to link to some random pdf about how to be safe during random sexual encounters with guys, telling “well, I know it’s for gay guys but I think the advice could still help you.”
If uncomfortable and unpleasurable constitues rape, then I think I’ve raped everyone I’ve ever fucked.
I’ve done stupid things in my life, especially my 20s when hormones were raging and alcohol was plenty, and I’ve needlessly endangered myself while intoxicated. So I can relate.
However, you said that you were tested within 24 hours of the incident. That’s way too soon for your body to produce the antibodies necessary to yield reliable results. You need to wait a minimum of 3 months after the exposure. I’m assuming you’ve been tested again in the 3 year period, but if you haven’t, you need to get tested again. I was lucky because my stupid years happened before AIDS was a big deal. You’re not so lucky and you engaged in high risk behavior.
If I were you, I wouldn’t dwell on it one minute longer. Your friend is just being dramatic.
No, just the effect of potential misuse of soul ties
Mainly because I believe I see things very spiritually, many times I can see the spiritual first but because most people don’t normally consider the spiritual much (IMHO), I like to put the non-spiritual answer first, then go into a bit of where I got that from.
Though some/many may disagree with the methods I get my opinions and beliefs from, the result in ‘real world terms’ is ‘reasonable and normal’ (at least according to your post). Which has been my observations as well.
Here’s the last paragraph that throws everything out of ‘reality’, I believe this is so because the spiritual defines our non-spiritual reality. Our non-spiritual reality is just a aspect of the multi-dimensional spiritual reality that we all exist in If you understand the spiritual you will understand the non-spiritual and can get reasonable and normal answers to situation which are (IMHO) much more complete.
The first time I read through it I didn’t pick up that it was a Mister Happy (didn’t notice the username) and had pretty much the same opinion as later, FWIW.
I just wanted to be the one to say, however, “I read some interesting advice from kanicbird in a gay sex thread.”
You should’ve stuck with the demon up the ass. It’s at least partially coherent.
Let’s look at this from the other guy’s perspective. He received consent, and consent was not withdrawn. End of story as far as he’d know.
If you didn’t communicate that you were uncomfortable and wanted to withdraw consent, how could he know? Who’s to say that he wouldn’t have stopped if you had asked? Being bigger than you and “a bit aggressive” doesn’t make someone a rapist, and it’s not fair to speculate that he might be a rapist based on the facts at hand.
Oh yes, his “rape creates ‘soul ties’ crap”.
Do you make your dentist buy you dinner first too? 
I’ve been away for a bit but i hope to address some people in this thread…
BigT
I generally agree with your post, and i won’t be responding to panache45 because I already have, and i believe we’re at an impasse.
Bear_Nenno
Two thumbs up. I’m also stealing that.
PunditLisa + others
I got tested the next day and realised quickly that i needed to get tested again and not only refrained from sexual contact with anyone else but got tested every couple of weeks for a few months in order to get an accurate result.
I was so naive to sexual health checks, I called up in the morning and said “I’d like to make an appointment for this afternoon” and the woman replied “Well, we generally are booked up for one week” and I freaked out at the thought of waiting a week for something like this, but then she said “unless you have a reason to have a test as quickly as possible” and i nervously, and quietly, explained my situation to her over the phone.
bengangmo
I was originally going to make this thread a hypothetical and gender neutral, but that was really not possible so i threw all that out the window and came clean.
Max The Immortal
Very good post! I have never doubted at all what was going through his mind.
I think that’s where the grey area comes in rape situations (not that mine is), but sometimes the accused can be totally mentally innocent and the victim is just someone who drank too much and didn’t know better.
Although in saying that, sometimes the accused is a guy who thinks that no means yes.
But still, good post.
Can i also state to everyone how amazingly sexually safe that i am in general? This was a one time affair. What surprised me most recently regarding sexual health is that several of my straight guy friends have had unprotected sexual contact with girls and have thought nothing of it. Even as much as having sex for a while but then pulling out and putting on a condom to finish.
I’m only worried about STI’s, these guys have PREGNANCY to worry about.
Plus they could have ANYTHING lingering in them from a partner from a week, a month or a YEAR ago lingering in them.
You may be surprised that I’m saying it, but I’m really boggled that these guys are running around, possibly with ANYTHING and having unprotected sexual contact with people they love.
Had to jump in here to say that panache45 had some very good, relevant advice, whether or not the OP wanted to hear it. Panache45 has been an interesting and thoughtful poster for the duration I’ve lurked/been on the board (4+years). Mr Happy jumps in with his poorly worded posts and his very recent join date, which tell me he doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into at all.
I’m casting yet another vote for the “this is so stupid, it happened 3 years ago” sentiment. If it’s still something that bothers you emotionally, then open a new thread.
Just for the sake of information, I believe HIV tests have something like a 6-week window; so while obviously there was no harm done in getting tested 24 hours later anyway, it wouldn’t be at all useful towards the incident in question.
I mentioned earlier that i realised this quite soon, and then got tested appropriately.
…And of course men never do anything like this. Ever. :rolleyes:
I guess it’s up to me to post a contrary opinion here, but it all depends exactly on what you said, and you may not even remember exactly what you said.
Atone point you say, “I was a little bit drunk and told him I was.” Was that a separate statement from saying you’d been drinking with your brothers?
If you actually said, “I’m drunk”, I can see the argument for rape. He should have known you were not competent to give consent and he went ahead and had sex with you anyway.