Tell me what to do with my hair...

Ok, I need your help! The Teeming Millions gave me some great advice a while back about a career dilemma (I took the Executive Director job), and now I’m on to more trivial pursuits. My hair is totally driving me nuts, and I need some advice. I’m “thisclose” to just chopping it all off but don’t want to do it this time without some sort of plan. I’ve spent much of the last 10 years growing my hair out for a long time, then getting fed up, chopping it off, feeling a mixture of liberation and regret, then REALLY regretting throwing away all that work.

Here’s the thing. I’m a low-maintenance mama. I don’t use a blow dryer and hopefully never will. I am wash and wear, all the way. When my hair’s really short, I do break down and use some products (wax, gel, whatever) because I realize it just is necessary, and I’m ok with that. My hair is just now long enough to get in a ponytail, but I hit this point about 3 years ago too – if my whole “style” is to throw it back in a ponytail, what’s the point??

Then I saw Halle Berry as Catwoman last night. … and I LOVED her hair in that movie, after her transformation. If a salon had been open this morning, I may have just marched myself down to get it all cut off and styled that way. However, my husband rightfully pointed out that her cut probably required more time than I’d be willing to give.

So, wise ones of SDMB, this is a cry for help – will you recommend a hairstyle for me? Or should I just keep growing my hair out? I just don’t think it looks very professional or nice the way I’ve been wearing it, and though I have some problems with people judging others based on hairstyle, I have just been appointed as executive director of my museum, and because I’m so young and have a lot sort of going against me, I do want to make an effort to look more professional.

Here are some of my parameters:

  • My hair is fine, but very full, if that makes sense. I have a LOT of hair. It has the ability to really look awesome when someone takes the time to style it.

  • I have a good amount of natural curl, so that needs to be taken into account.

  • Like I said, it has to be pretty much wash & wear. No blowdrying, though product is ok.

Here is an album of different hairstyles I’ve had over the years, all the way from shaved bald to about where it is now.

I know in the grander scheme of things, there are much better things for me to spend my angst on, but I want to figure this out! Anyone up for advice? If I like what you suggest, you may just see me marching to the salon and doing exactly what you say!

Thanks in advance!!

Jessica, sick of silly hair.

Oh yeah, and if my hair’s long enough to donate to someplace like Locks of Love, I’m totally doing that.

Link is where?

Doh. Here it is.

You had me at Halle Berry.
Leave it as it is or give it a good couple-inch trimmin’.

I think you look great with very short hair. You’ve got strong, pretty features, and that really gets minimized when there’s a bunch of hair around your face.

I’d go for the Halle Berry hair, or something similar.

I think you looked cute and very professional with really short hair, down to about chin length. If that’s an easy length to handle I’d recommend going with that.

Thanks! I do have very strong features and I’m pretty chubby now (let’s just call it “baby weight”) but people here are always telling me I look MUCH better with it pulled back. Well… so what’s the point of having it long if it’s always back, you know??

I have very few pics of myself recently…here are one or two to give you a more current idea of my looks.

Typing 1-handed… bbaby asleep at booby… be back on later.

Keep the length (although you might want to a get trim). It sounds like your hair is long enough and has enough body that a loosely pulled back French braid (leaving a bit of softness in front and on the sides) would look good. If it seems to long for you, fold it up under the rest of the braid to the nape of your neck, OR coil it and turn it into a bun at the nape of your neck. It won’t you look like Halle Berry, but let’s face it - she’s one of a handful of truly beautiful women alive today. Nothing will make you look like her, as you somehow look to be quite a bit taller than she, and (based on your pics) you’re white and she’s black (light skinned but a hell of a round the year suntan…

Don’t be hesitant to try a French braid by assuming that it’s too difficult. When I first learned how, I did it with damp hair that stays put better than dry. I only had to do that a couple of times, and felt agile enough to do it dry by that time. If you want to check it out before you try it, go to a low-end hair salon and ask for a French braid that goes from the crown of your head to however long it gets.

Another option is to keep the length, braid it into two regular braids, one over each ear on a little behind it, and then use the braids to crown your head. Even if the braids don’t reach fully to the other ear (mine didn’t when I wore it long), you can fasten it and hide the ends with the subtle and careful use of bobby pins.

These styles allow you to not being driven nuts by hair handing in your face, but leave you with the freedom to do anything you want with the long hair when you feel like it, while giving you the approximate look of a short hair style.

I’ll give you the same advice I gave another doper asking for hair help. Ask someone you know with great hair who their stylist is and make an appointment with that stylist. A pro will be best able to tell you what will work with your face, frame, hair type, etc., and will also be able to help you figure out what style is appropriate for your profession and how you’d like to be percieved.

I found a great stylist years ago and he makes all my hair decisions. I trust him implicitly.

I like your hair in the right below the shoulders length. With hair as pretty and curly as yours you don’t even need to blow dry it - just put a smidge of gel or mousse for control and let it dry naturally. If you don’t wash it every day, on your off days you can just spritz it with a bit of water to refresh the gel and tame the curl some and go. That length also gives quite a bit of flexibility in styling, which I like a lot. You can clip it, french braid, pony tail, down and flowing, top-half back in a barrette or combs … lots of options! Wanna trade hair? Mine is about the same length but baby fine and straight as an arrow.

Wow, thanks everyone! I have hardly been online since posting my quandary… my husband has been really sick with a GI bug and I just haven’t been keeping up. That being said, I totally got my hair cut today!

It was a complete spur-of-the-moment thing; though I’d been debating it here, I wasn’t really ready to pull the trigger yet. Too many things to consider, and as a few people rightly pointed out, shorter hair is often quite a lot more work than long.

Sooooo, for today, I went for the reverse/angled bob. It’s short and pretty stacked in the back, but pretty much the original length (chin) in the front. It’s still long enough that I can pull the longer layers back in a mini-pony if I want it out of my face. Anyway, here are some quicky pics. I really like it, but do have some reservations. I think it will look REALLY good if I ever had someone blow it out for a sleeker, straight look (maybe for an upcoming wedding we’re attending).

Thank you so much for all your advice and opinions! They helped me slow down my decision a little, at least. :slight_smile:

Pics of the new 'do

Cute!