The roads were slippery with ice, and the bus had to climb a hill about three blocks long with a stop in the middle. At the bottom of the hill, the bus driver announced that riders could get off at the bottom or the top, but the bus wasn’t stopping in the middle.
Halfway up the hill, some fool pulls the stop cord. The bus driver argues with the guy a bit, but the guy insists he has to get off there. The bus driver, very pissed off, pulls over. The guy starts out the door and then steps back in, saying, “Sorry, I thought this was my stop, but it’s not.”
The bus driver shoved the guy out the door, slammed the door shut behind him, and peeled out on a sheet of ice.
When I lived in Phoenix there was an obese student who lived quite far from campus. He was getting chastized daily on his ride in the morning on the bus by a group of local Mexican hooligans who worked on campus.
6 weeks into spring semester he brought a can of bear spray - think pepper spray in a bottle the size of a small fire extinguisher - and as he got off sprayed the entire group with the stuff until the container was empty. The stuff had a reach of 50 feet, and aparently one of the youths was blinded.
February, 1979. Round trip Trailways bus ticket, San Diego to Phoenix, leave on a Thursday, come back on Monday, each way takes about 16 hours. On the way to Phoenix, I learned more about the history of the natives of the American southwest and the state of New Mexico that I could ever use. He claimed to be a college professor but was dressed rather poorly and had very little money on him.
On the way back the bus was full and I had to sit next to a chain smoking grandma type. Yes, you could still smoke in buses back then. Thankfully she got off in Yuma. A young gal with a 3 year old boy got on in Yuma and after talking to her for about an hour, she decided her and the boy would live with me in San Diego. Even though I told her I was in the Navy and lived on a ship. Then out in the middle of nowhere the bus driver pulls over claiming he is too sick to drive. Fortunately some guy on the bus was properly licensed and took over. When the bus arrived at San Diego I ducked out while the gal and her son were in the restroom. I felt bad about it but there was nothing I could do for them. The next day at work the base security told me there was a woman and young boy waiting for me at the gate. I stayed on base for a week hoping to avoid running into her. It worked, I never heard from her again.
Recently while catching a bus back to Jersey from the Port Authority: A very long line of people. Suddenly the driver said “This bus is full,” closed the door on a guy’s arm and peeled off, almost hitting a woman. We all just stood there staring, and the guy whose arm was wrenched out of the door when the bus left called 911 on his cell. When the next bus came, we told the driver about it, and he gave us the direct number to call, so we all used our cell phones.
I was standing on a very crowded bus on a hot summer day, and I was wearing shorts. Someone grabbed my ass. I said very very loudly “What the fuck are you doing, grabbing my ass? How dare you? You have no right to grab my ass…” and went on, astonishing the other passengers. The bus driver made the ass grabber get off at the next stop, and the passengers cheered.
Another crowded bus. The only seat available was behind a woman with two small children, and she had her child parnaphinalia on the empty seat. I moved the stuff and sat down. She started screaming “How dare you touch my stuff? You can’t do that, get on a bus and start touching my stuff.” I told her “Look lady, I paid for a seat. Unless you bought four tickets, I’m moving your stuff.” She went on for five minutes, and finally the bus driver told her to shut up or get off.
Two stories.
A month ago or so, there was an olderman, maybe 60-70 years old, in full army getup sitting in a single seat on the aisle. He was talking to himself and was clearly unwell in some way. His boots jutted out a bit into the aisle. Some other guy, maybe 50 years old, comes on the bus, and trips over Army Guy’s boots. Army guy starts yelling at him. Now I’m thinking: “Okay, he’s clearly got mental problems. People’s feet get knocked all the time.” Guy 2, who seems perfectly normal, STARTS YELLING BACK. It escalated to the point where they were actually both standing up, yelling and asking if “you want to take me”. It eventually fizzled out. Geez.
I was sitting in one of the single seats, on the way to my boyfriend’s apartment. I was engrossed in a book, and the bus was very full. A shape started crowsing towards me, I figured it was just that people were getting packed into the bus. But the figure moves closer. And closer. It takes me a while to realize it, but my personal space is being invaded! This person clearly wants to assault me! OH GOD, THIS PERSON IS LEANING IN TO KISS ME!
I let out a SHRIEK. The whole bus turned, the figure snapped up and I finally had the time to see who this figure was. It was… my boyfriend. :smack: The entire bus was looking at him with extreme suspicion. I’m sure it didn’t help that, my heart still racing, I started yelling at him for the stunt. Soon after I kissed him willingly, so I guess the bus calmed down. I admit it - I was the weird incident on the bus.
Awesome. I love hearing things like this about my own stories. Very rewarding 
.
We did arrive at our destinations in one piece. I can’t remember where or when, but somewhere along the line the bus driver took someone’s advice and got back on track…maybe it was the cops. I ended up being around two to two and a half hours late to Gainsville. After telling the story to my dad he swore he would never put me on a Greyhound bus again…of course he did later anyways. Which is fine by me. I really can’t imagine too many drivers going apeshit like this one did, and it did make for an interesting sotry, wouldn’t you say?
I love it! I would have paid at least $10 to see that in addition to the fee for the ride. We need more of that kind of justice nowadays .
I once sat through a battle of the buses. It wasn’t, in retrospect, that interesting but at the time I was pretty bored. First of all the 27 came and stopped, waiting at the very front of the reserved area, then the 45 came, sitting at the back of the reserved area, finally my bus, the 37 came, I got on but the buses had got into the reserved area so tightly packed that they couldn’t get out, and to make matters worse, a car had pulled in behind the 45 meaning it couldn’t reverse so all the drivers began beeping at one another, until they all got out and simultaneously told eachother they had the same problem, things were resolved when the arsehole behind the 45 shifted.
Haha. Compared to these experiences, mine isn’t really that interesting. Buuut, I had to take the bus once to school because my mother had a surgery the day before, so she had to stay at the hospital and my father had taken the car to work. So, my brother walked to his school while I took the bus to mine. It was a non-uniform day and it was summer, so I wore a gray t-shirt that had “BITE ME!” written on the front and my camouflage-patterned shorts. So, I got on the bus, listening to some music when this shriveled-up, prune-like white lady comes onto the bus. The only empty seat left is the seat beside me. So, I thought she was going to sit beside me. But, when she didn’t, I politely asked her if she would like to sit down. And then she SPAT at me!! I swear, my face looked like this: :eek:
Old prune lady: Don’t leave your mouth hanging open, you chinee slut girl!!
Me: Excuse me? (I really didn’t know what she meant by “chinee” until a few moments later.)
Old prune lady: Teenage girls, these days! Aren’t you shamed? You slut girl! You might as well go naked!
Me: Look, lady, if -
Old prune lady: Showing off her skin and wearing clothing with profane messages and listening to the devil’s music! And a chinee, too!
Me: Lady, do the world a favour and go cut your tongue out. And I am NOT a slut OR Chinese.
By now, some people from my school who were taking the same bus route as me are laughing and laughing while everyone else is just staring. The bus stopped at the bus stop right in front of my school and the bus driver was nice enough to tell the old lady that she was being racist and rude and made her get off.
Wow, very similar thing happened to me.
You’re fifteen, eh?
Well, compared to most people here, I haven’t really encountered any really crazy people on the bus. I think it’s mostly because everytime I take public transportation, I have my headphones on, so it doesn’t give other people the opportunity to say crazy things to me. I remember one time, a guy with a bunch of scrap metal in a garbage bag came onto the bus. He had dragged his bag onto the bus, paid his fair, and sat quietly until his stop. At his stop, he got out from the front door, threw the bag out so that it made a loud noise that made everyone jump, and once he got off, he flipped the driver the bird. He yelled something, but I didn’t catch it.
And there was a time when I was taking the bus home from school, it was packed, and all the stupid kids didn’t know they should take their backpacks off, so one of them ended up wacking a little old lady on the head. Backpacks don’t come light these days and it was not pleasant sight when she started weeping, and the bus driver had to stop to see if the lady was okay.
Another time, I was on the bus, and it was only about half full, so there were plenty of seats. A guy who reeked of alcohol and was obviously drunk plopped down right next to me. Whenever the bus made a turn, he would sway to that side in an exaggerated fashion. That meant he would lean on me sometimes, so I shifted one seat over. He shifted next to me. So I got up and went to stand next to the driver. He proceeded to get up, but just as he was getting up, the bus stopped and he fell. I think the fall made him forget about following me and he sat back down on his seat, still swaying everytime the bus made a turn.
And there was the time I was the crazy one. As I mentioned before, I always have headphones on, and unless I’m with a friend, I won’t be chatty. One day, I was going home from visiting a friend, and I was particularly upset. I was just sitting at the very back of the bus, looking out the window, a little bit zoned out. I saw my ex go on the bus, and I thought Gr. I don’t want to chat with anyone today, especially not him. He came and sat down next to me, said hi, I did a half-fake-smile and nodded my head, tapped my headphones, and turned to look out the window again. He then took my headphones off. :eek: That is a big no-no in my world! Never ever mess with my music, or the source of my music! I blew up at him, and started yelling “FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK! DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!! FUCK OFF!!” The people sitting across the aisle were concerned and asked me “Is this man bothering you, miss? Do you want me to inform the bus driver?” Realizing what an ass I made out of myself, I mumbled something of a “No” and got off the bus and waited for the next one. :o
Ah… the Hell Bus Story.
It was early summer, and young Evil and two friends were supposed to be enjoying a lovely week at the beach to celebrate the end of high school. Un fortunately, Evil’s parents “coincidentally” set up their family vacation for the same time in a hotel five blocks away. This led to a request to please take Evil’s cousin, who was at the time twelve years old, to the boardwalk because “she’ll be sad if she can’t hang out with the girls”. We give in and take the child to the boardwalk. Much fun is had- but the bus home seems to be against us getting the child home on time. Ten blocks in, little Nicole manages to, while trying out her brand new arcade-reward handcuffs, handcuff herself to Kim. Twenty blocks in, and an extremely drunken pair enter.
They are attached at the lips and blissfully oblivious to all that is around them. Well, she is. He is quite aware of Evil and the fact that he has her blocked in, and takes copious advantage of this by letting his hand creep ever-so-slowly to her person. She is squirming to get away but due to the crowded state of the bus cannot. He is drunkenly groping her and making out with his girlfriend at the same time, whilst Nicole has now managed to break off the handcuff key in the lock. More drunkies enter. It reeks of beer and cheap-ass rum.
Twenty minutes later, the child is past her curfew and Drunky Groper Boy is getting rather bold. Evil slaps him away several times and he keeps coming back. Three blocks before the stop, Nicole finally gets the handcuffs off. Drunky Groper Boy nearly takes a spill sideways when Evil is finally able to get up, taking his still-attached girlfriend with him. Evil and company get yelled at for keeping Nicole out half an hour past her curfew.
The moral of the story? Buses in Ocean City, Maryland are evil. Trust me.
Yup. Are you fifteen, too?
I ride the bus for 2 hours or so every day to get to & from Uni, and … woo.
- Crazy shoeless guy
Muttering incoherently to himself, this behemoth of a man wanders to the fore of the bus with a lighter in hand. He flicks on the Bic and attempts to set the ticket dispenser on fire!! Bus driver nearly runs off the road and screams “What the hell do you think you’re doing you fucking punk?!” Crazy shoeless guy looks terribly dejected and shuffles sadly back to his seat.
- Road rage
Whilst driving through the city centre, a white pick-up truck gets into the lane we’re in, attempting to defy physics by occupying the same time-space as our bus. Bus driver reacts quickly by running up on the median (I’m not sure why - bus beats pick-up truck no matter how you look at it, but anyway). White truck stops in front of the bus at the next red light. Bus driver throws open his buscubicle, storms out, goes up to the truck. Truck driver gets out. Bus driver screams at truck driver and pushes him, twice, hard, against the truck, then slugs him in the face! Light turns green, truck driver gets back into truck, bus driver comes back into bus, to a whole bunch of silent passengers making the :eek: face. Every single person getting off the bus after this incident was sure to stammer a nervous “Thank you driver!”
- A dingo is my baby?
Signs adorn the buses and bus depots, clearly prohibiting dogs from riding. (This doesn’t apply to seeing-eye dogs.) These signs display a dog built from rectangles (it looks like a Lego dog) accompanied by the words, “No Dogs”. I really don’t think it could get more crystal-clear than that. This lady, however, wanted her dog on the bus really bad.
She wrapped the dog in a blanket, a nice baby-blue, knitted blanket with satin edges. She hefted it in her arms like a baby. This would have been clever, if it weren’t for the fact that the dog was a husky/wolf mix! There ain’t a baby in the world that big, or that hairy.
The bus driver still let her get on, and that was one mean dog - spent the rest of the journey snarling at all the nearby passengers. I dunno, maybe the driver really thought it was just an ill-tempered toddler?
- Sexual harrassment
4a) Two girls, about 12 years old, were sitting on the last “low-level” seat on the bus. Just behind the rear doors, the seats are elevated on a platform about 1/2-metre tall. A pair of 18-19ish boys were sitting behind them. They began to make lewd comments to the girls. The girls ignored them. They began to pull on the girls’ hair; the girls ignored them. Then the boys reached over the seat and grabbed one of the girls’ breasts! The girls were crying at this point. I was shocked - I had no idea what to do! I felt so horrible for these girls, they got up and moved seats, but the boys continued taunting them for as long as I was on the bus.
4b) A young man wearing a jacket that identified him as a labourer supplied by a disabled persons facility boarded the bus when I was the only other person on. He sat in the seat next to me and tried to make conversation about how hot it was (it really was hot!). I was trying to study for exams, and I made several dismissive comments trying to get him to shut up. He wouldn’t. As the bus entered a roundabout, turning somewhat hard, he leans over into me. Really far into me. Says, “This bus sure turns tight.” And places his hand on my breast as if to catch himself!
I felt bad for him, maybe he didn’t really understand what he was doing. But damn, it was one of the creepiest things I’d ever experienced. I pressed the button and got out at the next stop, walked the rest of the way home (1.5 hours) crying.
Yes.
In the early 70’s, there used to be a bus driver in Chicago who had a reputation that was, well, odd. He was, I believe, “the happy bus driver” or something like that. Even a few write ups on him in the papers back then.
One day I got on a bus and he was driving it. It was one of the first Spring days and the next thing I know, our bus took an alternative route. The driver took us to the park, and stopped in front of the Botanical Gardens and announced, “it is a beautiful day! Get out, go to the gardens, take a walk!”
I took him up on it. I was the first, and then a few other people got off the bus, but it really was a good idea and I will never forget that ride.
Once in Berlin, (on a subway, not a bus) two intoxicated people started having very wild and open sex in one section of the train. The entire section of the subway train exited in a huff at the next station, except for me. I had to ride two more stops and as far as I was concerned, the floor show was a bonus.
Senior year, my journalism class took a trip to Columbia University to their High School Journalism Fair. The bus ride into the city was pretty uneventful… until we got to one fateful tollbooth. The bus driver just couldn’t manage to fit the schoolbus through. On his first pass, he hit the booth. Then he backed up and banged it again. Stubbornly, he just turned the wheel and kept going, scraping the side of the bus along the tollbooth as he went. We made it through and no one was hurt.
Although on the way back to school, we had to go through the tollbooth again. The driver slowed down, clearly trying to be careful. As he approached, one wiseass student (I wish it had been me) yelled to the other passengers “Quiet everybody! This requires a lot of concentration!” Everyone broke up laughing, but somehow the driver got us back to school without crashing or strangling the kid. When we got out, we could see a lot of paint had been scraped off the left side of the bus.
This was a couple of years ago. I was taking the bus to the university. The stop that I got on at is right next to a grocery store, so naturally enough there were a few people getting on carrying bags of groceries. However, a lady chose to complain to the driver about all these people coming on the bus with food, and that isn’t allowed on the bus, and she got thrown off the bus a while back for having food. The driver basically told her to calm down and take a seat.
All was quiet for a couple of minutes, then she got up and started pacing up and down the aisle muttering about food not being allowed. The muttering gradually increased in volume, and then she spied someone holding a travel mug. She knocked the mug out of the guy’s hand, shrieked something about how that isn’t allowed on the bus, and then calmly sat down as if nothing had happened. As we were within sight of our destination at that point, the driver didn’t do anything about it, at least as far as I recall.
Man, the things that happen on the bus!!!
1 An old woman sitting a few seats down lifted her skirt and…sprayed.
2. At the beginning of a trip cross country I was watching a VERY large woman board the bus, she didn’t come close to being able to fit through the door so they were using the hydraulic wheelchair lift to get her through the double doors on the side(she had to squeeze through that). I tend to get curious about machines and moved to examine the lift as I approached I glanced away from the bus hydraulics at her, unzipped, no underwear, and saw a very different hydraulic system. The image haunts me to this day.
3 I geocache so I tend to have my GPS on me. One day I was playing with it when the bus driver came hurtling back to yell at me. He thought I was going to give his bus’s location away to terrorists. I complied but started playing with an old palm pilot(I was bored), he kicked me off.
Haven’t run into racism though…I guess I should count my blessings. I’m surprised at how many of these encounters involve urine.
All of these glorious bus stories are sooo familiar.
I generally find that the best peoplle to watch flip out on the bus are the ones who look the most upstanding and unassuming before they go nuts, the professor-looking guy who, out of nowhere picks his nose and wipes it on the guy in front of him starting a fight, etc. etc etc…
My most memorable though…
Just me and the driver on the bus, when he pulls out onto a small highway into a lane with a fast approaching 18-wheeler. The 18-wheeler tries to pass on the left, but has to cut into our lane to narrowly miss a head-on with an oncoming car. The truck knocks the front half of the bus off of the right side of the road, but it doesn’t flip over; it just stops, both of us shaken but not hurt. The truck doesn’t stop and disappears. The driver makes me stay to witness on his behalf. I have to stay there until the police come about an hour later. I missed a final exam (with a valid excuse).
Once, back in the late '80s, an attractive young woman got on and sat directly in front of me. About 10 minutes into the journey, just as I was nerving myself up to start a conversation with her, she started acting oddly, then went into a full-blown epileptic seizure, and the driver had to pull over and radio for an ambulance. The seizure ended in a few minutes and she seemed all right afterwards, but it badly frightened me while it was happening.
A few years later I had to share a bus ride with a homeless person of indeterminate sex, off of whom a stench rose so powerful it would knock down a charging rhino. The front of the bus was crowded, but “Pigpen” was the only passenger in the rear half.