Returning from a time-travel trip to 1951 to destroy the 2197 nude photos whose existence, in the previous timeline, prevented GraceKellyfrom marrying Prince Rainier, I decided to stop in Marvel-Comics Earth to get a calzone from this little pizzeria near Central Park that only exists on that Earth. While there, I noticed that there was a huge honking hole in the side of Avengers Mansion, and all the heroes were out fighting Skrulls. Naturally I couldn’t pass up the chance to do a little looting, so I snuck in to Hank Pym’s lab. There I grabbed a canister of Pym particles and one of his spare ant-control helmets. I was going to head to Stark’s workshop next but then Jenny Walters crashed in and demanded to know what I was doing, so I chose to make a dignified retreat via teleport with my stolen booty. (And no, I did not pay for the calzone, though I did tip the waitress.)
Back at a Rhymer Enterprises base, I put the technomages to work reverse-engineering (and improving) Pym’s inventions so they’d work on our world. I’m happy to announce that we have practical shrinking tech available to be licensed, along with insect/arachnid enslaving tech. (We will be keeping the the enlarging tech for our own purposes.) Twelve lucky Dopers will be allowed access to one or the other – not both – once they convince me they can make use of the devices in question to make a profit.
Any takers? Do you want the shrinking tech or the insect/arachnid enslaving tech? Whichever one you choose, what’s your plan to commercialize it?
Pym’s lab was nearer to the hole, and there was no telling when some over-muscled do-gooder was going to come back. Besides, everybody knows that Stark does all his research at his own company’s labs; there’s not even any extra armor in Avengers Mansion, just stuff he uses for quick repairs and tinkering.
I normally enjoy a good “Skald-a-thetical”, but this one here is a big giant WTF?
Anyway, I’ll go with the shrinking stuff ray assuming it also comes with a re-biggening ray and sell it to Space X so they can get more payloads in one haul.
I’d be trying to find a way to use the Pym particles to shrink tumors or malignant growths. Once I had a feasibility study, I’d show my proposal to Big Pharm. No reason I can’t make a profit and help people, is there?
I’m seeing million dollar mansions occupying mere centimeters, shipping companies going out of business once I start my “Ship Anything Anywhere For 99 Cents!” company, and my “Anybody Can Be A Jockey” school will be very popular.
Yep that was my thought too, shrinking ray would be awesome for shipping of anything. (with the same caveat Shakes applied)
Give the embiggening part to the shipping companies so they can reconstitute for delivery. Sell the shrink rays only to the originating company, NOT to the shippers. Make up some technical gobblygook reason for it but the real reason is to maximize sales
Of course you get a re-embiggening ray. Bear in mind it only undoes the shrinking; you can’t make anything bigger than normal with it. I’m not trusting you hosers with that.
To make it easier for everyone inside to be killed by army ants?
Bah. I can’t see dropping a foot in height just to be a jockey. Rather have a bigger horse.
As long as it’s in that order, knock yourself out. But Rhymer Enterprises is not on the side of love and happiness, so if you helping the sick I’ll expect you to spread chaos elsewhere.
And of course you’ll be expected to discriminate against the non-Duffy Welsh.
Starships require FTL tech which you ain’t got, mate.
While everyone else is bidding up the price of the shrink ray, I’ll quietly place a bid on the ant-control helmet. Assuming I can replicate the things, I revolutionize agriculture with my hives of ants that sow seeds, kill pests, and harvest crops.
Yeah but then you’d have to find lobbyist to lobby congress to pass ridiculous laws ensuring that said prisons would stay full. I’m pretty sure pond scum like that doesn’t exist. And even if they did, it’s not like lawmakers would actually pass such ridiculous laws.
