Tell your wacky customer service stories

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

But this restaurant doesn’t make anything that uses plain white bread.

When you go to a restaurant, the restaurant has a menu showing what they serve. You should try to find something from the menu that you would like, and not expect to be able to get something that isn’t on the menu. It’s OK to order an item from the menu slightly modified (“hold the mayo”), but asking the restaurant to try to improvise something that isn’t on the menu and being surprised when they refuse is being a spoiled brat.

Besides, “you can’t always get exactly what you want anywhere at any time” and “don’t expect people to make exceptions for you” are important lessons for a kid to learn.

82

My husband is a very picky eater. When we go to a new restaurant, we often ask to see the menu before we sit down. If he doesn’t see something he’s willing to eat, we’ve been known to say, “Thanks, but it’s not for us” and leave. It is kind of embarrassing, but better than the alternative. And it’s happened maybe 3-4 times since we’ve been married; almost anyplace can serve him something he’ll eat.

Maybe the restaurants think we can’t afford to eat there. That’s OK. He’s not an asshole when he orders, and he doesn’t want to be. A cheeseburger is good enough for him.

83

But it’s really more like someone walked up to your table, took $10 out of your wallet and gave you a crappy sandwich you didn’t want. And told you that they’d do it again anytime they felt like it. Honestly, I’m kind of baffled that McD’s gets away with that policy. Who doesn’t give a refund if they don’t have what you ordered? That is theft, IMO.

And I echo that in some places, police do want all calls to them through 911 (or at least all calls asking for police response, even if it’s not life-threatening).

84

First of all, Shamozzle, I’ve worked back of the house instead of front, but everything you posted is just a little too true to life. Gave me a good laugh (now that I don’t deal with customers anymore).

Second, this:

Reminded me of a pizza, wings, and beer joint I worked in once in Atlanta. What is it about some guys that just have to show off their heat-eating abilities? We had mild, medium, and hot wings, and took some pride in a decent sauce for each one. But no, every night there was at least one dude who had to play I’m a Big Stud, Let Me Show You.

“Can you make the hot wings like, really hot? Like, really really hot? I only like them if they are super mega destroyer hot.”

The waitresses even had a standard response, making sure that was what they wanted and informing them that they would have to pay for that basket of wings even if they could not eat them.

“Yeah, no problem. Nobody makes wings hot enough for me. Bring 'em on.” (Chest thumping, etc.)

I suspect all kitchens that serve wings have some form of the punishment sauce. Ours involved a little extra hot jerk seasoning, crushed habaneros, and so on. It was violently orange and made our eyes water when we uncapped it. The wings got a double dunk - before and after frying - and not a single customer ever managed more than two in my experience there. And lord, to hear them bitch and complain about having to pay for them? Comedy gold. Now, we were lucky enough to have a manager who stood behind the staff on the matter and didn’t let them weasel out of the bill, but who can say the jerks didn’t bring it on themselves? When a waitress says the hot sauce is plenty hot, why think she’s lying to you?

85

Ah, yes, the customer is always right meme. I was wondering who’d be the first to throw it out here.

It’s unreasonable to expect that a restaurant cater to every single possible eater’s personal needs. It’s incumbent upon a patron to recognize whether or not a particular restaurant can meet his or her personal needs. If a child is such a picky eater that a white bread and grilled Velveeta sandwich is all he or she will it, it’s up to the parent to pick a restaurant that can accommodate that demand. If the restaurant can’t or won’t, the correct response is to leave. Not to demand that they go to the store and buy bread for the child in question.

You’re right in that if enough customers leave, the restaurant will close. Therefore, if the restaurant owners see that they’re losing business because of a menu offering or lack thereof, a good owner will make changes. A bad owner won’t. However, at no time is it the responsibility of the WAITSTAFF to demand that the kitchen make accommodations for a particular patron’s request.

86

I’m not going to participate in the beating of this dead horse any more, I’ll just say that IMO the waitstaff should mention a constant demand for addition/removal of a particular item to the management, especially if it’s something reasonable. Management can decide what’s reasonable and whether it’s worth their time/money to do it.

87

Well, THAT makes complete sense, and I agree.

88

Meet my SIL - my newphew won’t eat anything but chicken fingers. He’s a teenager. I don’t go out in public with them if there’s the slightest possibility there will be a meal involved.

89

Seriously? You served someone 26 gin & tonics and he was still upright and talking? If those are standard 1-1/2 oz pours, you’re talking about a bottle and a half of gin in eight hours!

That’s true to some extent. I have a bookstore, and if my customers regularly ask for some particular book, I’ll certainly get it. But if they ask for some product that none of my regular suppliers carry, and I’d have to set up a special account with a new vendor and send an employee over to pick up that product, I’d probably decline.

And restaurants have themes. If I take my kids to an Italian or Mexican restaurant, I don’t expect them to have grilled cheese sandwiches for my kids. Cheese bread or quesadillas, sure.

90

I believe it. A friend of mine could put away a bottle of liquor in the duration of a party and still be fairly ambulatory.

91

Wow. Just wow.

92

Yes, absolutely. But those were 1oz pours.

Some people have an astonishing constitution and have no problems putting theirs to the test while wasting away 14 hours on a sunny patio.

In my post I used the phrase “All the time” and by this I generally mean anywhere from a few times a day to a couple times a week.

“Just make something up for my kid already”: Every day

“You have all the ingredients, so just make me X”: A few times a week

“I thought I ate it here but I guess I didn’t”: A few times a week

“I’ll have exactly the same, except for these changes”: 10 times a day

“You’re paid to say that”: 5 times a day

93

Sad to say, I’m in the same boat. XMas of '95, I spring for a nice dinner for my family at an Italian restaurant. My 15 y/o nephew and 17 y/o niece threw an embarrassing hissy fit becuase they couldn’t get cheesburgers or chicken fingers at a nice Italian Restaurant (not Olive Garden!). I felt sorry for the poor waiter, having to put up with that.

94

By that age, they should know better. My 16-year-old is a pretty picky eater, but he can usually find something on the menu he’ll eat, and he knows I’d get on his case later if he made a production about it in public.

I’m not saying he’s perfect, but we try to get the “I hate Chinese food” arguments over with before we go into the restaurant.

95

I’m a bit surprised that they survived the experience. :smiley: Seriously, I’m amazed that they still throw hissy fits at that age over FOOD. Usually they save their snits for things like curfews, dating, and appearances (clothes and makeup).

I have to admit, I’m a fussy eater. Not by choice, though. I have IBS or IBD, and can’t eat certain foods and seasonings…like black pepper and raw onions. So I tend to grill the server about what’s in the dish before I order. I leave a generous tip to make up for it.

96

I work for a nonprofit literacy organization in DC and used to man the general phone line and email address.

General email is an interesting thing. The emails typically fell into a) people who couldn’t be bothered to search our site or b) people who we couldn’t help (but could refer elsewhere).

However, you also get stuff that’s slightly out there. Requests from people wanting the title of a book they read 40 years ago, wanting to sell you their latest proven technique to learn reading, wanting you to sponsor the Mexican paintball team (really). There are also a surprising number of people out there who’ve written songs/poems about reading and believe that it should be the official song/poem of your organization.

My favorite email, from a young man styling himself fOoTbAlLiSmYlIfE@domain.com:

I haev to do a riport on raeding. Tel me about reading please!!

Favorite surreal phone call:
(phone rings)
Me: Good afternoon, (name of organization).

Caller: Why am I calling you?

Me: Pardon?

Caller: This number keeps showing up on my phone bill. I want to know why I’m calling you. And I want you to stop calling me, if that’s what you’re doing.

Me: Well, sir, do you work in a school or for an educational organization?

Caller: No.

Me: Do you donate to our organization?

Caller: No.

I think I ran through a couple more possibilities before we finally gave up on figuring out why our number was showing up on his phone bill…

97

Oh man, I can’t believe I forgot this one, this is one of my favorites:

Hostess: “Hi, how are you this evening?”

Customer: “Great, thanks. There are two of us.”

Hostess: “Ok, great.” Looks at list “We’re completely full right now, but it looks like it will only be a 10 or 15 minute wait for a table for two.”

Customer, annoyed: “Oh, you’re full? You can’t fit us in?” The restaurant has an open floor plan and a quick scan would reveal to anyone that the restaurant is obviously completely full to the gills.

Hostess: “It shouldn’t be too long. The other hostess will be by shortly with a platter of free appetizers for people to snack on while they’re waiting.”

Customer, totally peeved: “Can’t you just fit us in? There’s only two of us!”

Hostess: “I’m sorry, it should only be a few minutes.”

Customer: “But we don’t want to wait!”

*Oh, I’m sorry, I was under the impression that you wanted to wait as long as possible. Listen, you imbecile. We would love to get your ass into some seats as swiftly as possible so we can take you money away from you and then repeat the process with others as many times as possible but as you can obviously see there is literally nowhere for you to sit. Nowhere. Nowhere at all. And what are you getting at by insisting? Are you expecting us to cave in and pull out that super-secret table just for you we keep hidden behind the wine rack, a secret table we’ve denied everyone else? THERE ARE NO MORE TABLES. Unless you brought some wood, some nails and a hammer, you are going to have to wait. Behind all those people sitting in the lobby. Who got here before you did. *

When a restaurant is full this happens every five minutes.

98

I’ve seen this as a customer.

Picture a popular restaurant on Friday night. Packed.
I’ve just arrived after booking earlier and the staff are taking me to my table.

Customer in bar area “Hey, he arrived after us! How come he gets a table?!”
Staff “Sir, he booked.”
Customer (in astonished tone) “He … booked?! :confused:”
:smack:

99

I am wheat, soy, and dairy intolerant…do you really mean to tell me that every eatery on earth should carry menu items I can eat?
the customer is not always right, they are however always there.

100

Critical1, if you don’t mind my asking…just what DO you eat? Lots and lots of rice and rice milk? I guess you can eat meat, too. But cheeseburgers would be right out, I guess.

That must suck.