Terry Pratchett's Vampire League of Temperence

Cafe Society
1

Vampires are pretty well represented in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books, but there’s a big difference between the vampires who drink blood and the ones who are in the League of Temperence.

I’m thinking of the Magpyrs, specifically. I mean, they were able to resist things like garlic/daylight/holy symbols for a while, but then their immunity disappeared when they panicked, then backfired on them. They were also pretty stupid, which was sort of the whole point of the book.

There was also Dragon King of Arms, but I don’t remember how he was “killed.”

However, the vampires who’ve given up blood don’t seem to be as vulnerable to things like garlic and relgious symbols, and they aren’t nearly as stupid. There only three I can think of are Lady Margolatta, Otto Chriek, and Maladict. I don’t know if there are any more.

I assume Maladict had to kiss the picture of the Duchess to join the army in Monstrous Regiment, even though it doesn’t specifically say that he does (it describes him signing his name and getting his paper “shilling”). The squad also marches during the day and Maladict doesn’t seem to have any problem with that.

Otto does turn into dust when his camera flashes, but I’m not sure if it has to do with the light or something else (Maladict didn’t crumble into ash when Otto took pictures of the squad because he was standing behind Cardorundum.)

Of course, the vampires in the Temperence League change their obsession from blood to something else (taking pictures for Otto, coffee for Maladict, and possibly manipulating people for Lady Margolatta? I don’t really remember what her’s was.)

So basically, all that rambling was to ask if drinking blood makes the vampires on the Discworld stupid and vulnerable to being killed by traditional methods?

(This isn’t exactly the best OP I’ve ever written, but I’ve had this idea rattling around in my skull for a while, and I wanted to see what other Dopers had to say.)

2

While someone might be able to explain it in a way that will make sense in the books, my bet is its just for the storytelling. A vampire thats obsessed with taking pictures, even though he turns to dust each time, is funny! It would not really have been good if at the end of Carpe Jugulum if the count died, and someone just used a peice of dog food to revive him.

3

Oh vill you come to der mission,
vill you come, vill you come.
There’s a hot cup of tea,
und a bun, und a bun.

4

Anyone else find Otto to be the sexiest Discworld character? The showdown at the end of “The Truth” is just… grr.

Um. I mean. Er.

5

Ask this on the Pratchett newsgroups; the author himself might answer.

6

You mean this one?

Dunno if I’d call Otto sexy, as he’s not my type, but that was one suspenseful showdown. Needed a good lying-down afterwards to catch my breath…

7

gah, you might have put some spoiler warnings in the OP for those of us who haven’t read MR or even TT.

btw: Dragon wasnt exactly killed but he was caught using a candle imbued with holy water

8

Terrys point in Carpe Diem is that it is the Vampires belief in the holy symbol that is critical (indeed, [un]lethal).

The Magpyrs had created their own belief system where they were immune to garlic etc (which did work), but when they were under pressure, the old beliefs bubbled up and they were done for (on a temporary basis).

This is generally true of people - put people under real pressure and you will discover their true beliefs - “In a lifeboat, there are no atheists.” TP is pointing out human truths via the Magpyrs behaviour (while writing bellyachingly funny books).

Simon

9

No, you’re wrong, Sam Vimes is the sexiest Discworld character!

10

I’m under the belief that it’s not the itself blood, but rather the manic bloodlust and the stupid things they do to get it. I imagine if you placed a series of obstacles between Maladict and coffee, he would do the same. The only difference is that you can buy coffee off the shelf.

Great post from si_blakely, by the way.

11

Unless he’s turned up since Feet of Clay, he wasn’t killed, just arrested - and punished by the destruction of all his Ankh-Morpork genealogical records in a fire started “accidentally” by Vimes.

12

Touché.

13

I liked when he was talking about “zer heaving bosoms and ze heavy breathing”. Yowza.
For me, though, the sexiest character is Greebo as a man.

And I can’t remember the exact quote, but there was one about one eye being the downfall of saints. And the bit about Nanny Ogg saying, “so that’s why all the lady cats scream at night.”

14

Not from a sexy angle, but Otto talking about ZE BOSOMS was probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read. I was in tears. ZE HEAVING!

15

Sorry about that, Shalmanese, I didn’t even think about spoilers.:smack:

16

I’m rather surprised that temperence can work for vampires. Isn’t blood what makes them go? I would think that if a vampire could exist without blood at all ,their paranormal abilities would be severely weakened.

17

I think in Carpe Jugulum it was more about the

infusion of Granny Weatherwax’s essence into the vampyrs that made the difference. Pratchett continued to repeat the mantra “everyone knows that vampires do X” and as such – as Granny evidently believed it – then the vampyrs were vulnerable to her way of thinking and lost their ability to fly, and suddenly became vulnerable to holy symbols and holy water again, and all that.

Also, having read the rules to the GURPS Discworld expansion, the two most powerful forces on the Disc are that of Belief and Narrative Causality. Therefore, if the vampires believe the curses work, they do work; and if it is appropriate for the story for them not to work, then they don’t.

FISH

18

Lumpy, I’m pretty sure the Black Ribboners only give up human blood. And they can apparently also eat regular food (e.g. nice cup of cocoa and a bun). Doesn’t seem to have much effect on their vampirish abilities and weaknesses.

19

The temperance league vampires lived on very rare steak to get their supply of blood.

20

He yes, Greebo. Gotta admit, he was pretty damn sexy. But Sam will always be the one for me. There’s just something about a man with unbending principles.