I just got a very sweet virtual bouquet in my inbox, and you’ve just made my day!
Things aren’t going very well yet, but we seem to have levelled out for the moment. I am going to dinner with him tonight, and fully expect to be able to get through it without crying, for once.
I still don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but I’m adjusting to life without much of him in the present. I remain convinced that he’ll come back.
Thank you!
Just don’t make any sudden moves when you’re holding the table knife… 
I’m having lunch with my … wife … this Sunday afternoon to discuss logistics for a seperation. (not doing the divorce because she gets her health insurance through my benefits package at work–I don’t want to put her in a bind, I just want to end any accountability we have to one another). She’s hot. It’s going to be hard to have “just lunch” with her–one of our few times alone together in years.
Here’s an idea, ask yourself honestly if HE’s right for YOU–since everyone’s evaluating and all.
Well, up until three weeks ago day after tomorrow, I had not a doubt in my mind that he was right for me. I don’t know that I’m in a mental state to be making that kind of evaluation honestly just yet.
And even now, he’s treated me with a lot of honesty and respect considering he’s having this crisis. We’ve always fit together so very well. I don’t think he’s even doubting that I’m right for him - he’s terrified of the concept of marriage more. Which I wasn’t asking him to do, but he was thinking about anyway.
Dinner went OK. By the end of it, we were even relaxing enough to talk in our usual old comfortableness. (Not a word? It is now.) The waitress didn’t know that anything was wrong, and it’s a small town and she knows us.
But I’m here at home posting tonight, not snuggled up where I belong. And it was sad to be at the house that was my home a bare three weeks ago. I played with my cat and our dog. But I didn’t cry, not in front of him at least. I promised myself that I wouldn’t this time.
{{{{{Jules}}}}}
I’m sorry I don’t have anything to offer besides hugs and an ear. If you need someone to talk with, let me know. I can be in Sacto in an hour. I don’t drive fast. I fly low. 
Thanks Maureen. My friends are doing a pretty good job of holding me up.
What a nightmare.