This sort of thing is done to me all the time. Many years ago a cousin who is the same age as me and was my friend when we were kids, got married. Prior to the wedding there was a hen night which everyone was talking about (at the wedding) and people were somewhat irritated that I didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. Well I wasn’t there, was I? And why not? Um, because I didn’t know anything about this hen night…? turns out the Chief Bridesmaid totally forgot about me (this was said to my face), slightly less galling was the fact that two people drove passed my house en route to the hen night and neither person stopped to ask if I wanted a spin (which I would have as I’d no car/license in those days). Oh and to add insult to injury I’d actually not been invited to the wedding, I’d gone as my parents’ proxy (or whatever you call it when you go to a wedding in your parents’ stead).
Oh and I didn’t get an invitation to my brother’s wedding a few years ago (this was not the psycho brother who has threatened to kill me). Not only was there no written invite, there was no text, or email either. In fact I wasn’t even told where/when the wedding was happening. They hadn’t given mother an invite either.
We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional, I’ll have you know!
I would definitely ask why I wasn’t invited, and not accept a lame excuse.
My family loves me and wants me around, but sometimes I feel really left out of the loop. That was the case a few years ago at a family wedding. No one bothered to tell me when and where anything was going on. I was asked if I wanted to ride along to the airport to pick up my sister. Sure, sounds fun! But instead of going back to the hotel, we went straight to a fancy luncheon. And I was getting shit for not being dressed appropriately. How was I supposed to know?
I wish I hadn’t been invited to my sister’s wedding. I didn’t want to go, but because my mother was so worried about what the family would think if I didn’t go, I knew there would be hell to pay if I didn’t. My mother made all the arrangements for me behind my back, from hiring a babysitter for my son to buying my clothes.
The only cool thing was that I heard later my sister was worried the entire time that I would do something to ruin her wedding - uh no, that’s her game not mine.
Why does that happen? Why is there always one member of a family that takes the brunt of nastiness? I am that person in my family. When my brother got married, everyone was invited to a dinner the night before except me. At the wedding, all the family members went for pictures after except me. When my parents were going away on a long cruise, they had a big going away party with friends and family, but not me.
Yet when they’re sick or injured or need money, I’m the one they call.
I’ve often wondered what it is about me that makes them exclude me from parties and fun things, but sends them to me when they need help.
I know my mother used to tell terrible lies about my dad all the time, and I’m pretty sure she tells (or used to tell) lies about me. I am aware that she’s implied that the years I’ve been her carer have consisted of my slopping off to the pub all day with my friends, and the years ago she was the one who was caring for my dad (she wasn’t), so a large number of my extended family think I’m this drunken bum who’s a callous bitch.
Good question! My family (or most of them) ought to know I’m teetotal, all right they wouldn’t know that all my friends have moved away and I don’t have any ‘drinking buddies’ that I could be hanging out with, I cannot understand why any of them believe that my mother (who is about 5’4" and has a Parkinson’s like condition) was dad’s sole carer - he was over 6ft tall and fairly well built, she had no equipment and he was essentially bed ridden (he wasn’t because myself and home helps would wash and dress him and put him in the living room, and I did all their shopping). But I suppose people will believe anything despite the obvious plot-holes in the story.
I have noticed that people who’ve only spent a short time in my mother’s company think the world of her, whereas people who’ve spent more than a day in her presence tend to think somewhat less of her (an ex sister-in-law concluded that mother was a crazy effing bitch after spending a week in her house)