Lastyear, my husband’s brother and his wife decided we would have the family gathering at their house, along with her family. Before that, my husband’s parents hosted for our family and his two brothers would spend part of the day there, and the other part with their wives’ families. But MIL had a stroke 2 years ago and is wheelchair bound. So, this was going to be the new tradition according to BIL. It seemed to go well, considering the two families were about as opposite in personality as you can get, (we’re a friendly bunch, they were kind of standoffish.)
So, yesterday my husband was on the phone with his dad and found out that his mom and dad were told by BIL, that he would bring them some leftovers Thanksgiving evening so they wouldn’t have to leave the house.
When my husband asked about the family gathering, his dad said that BIL told him “the rest of us” had made other plans. So, my husband calls BIL to find out what was going on…
The other brother-in-law and his wife bailed out. I suspect it had something to do with their 17 yr old son being bullied by SIL’s 35 yr old nephew lastyear. Or maybe they couldn’t handle being arround those creepy ass kids that never smiled. Either way, Evil BIL & spouse decided it would just be her family this year. Except, they didn’t tell us! Did I mention, we were over there Monday to draw names for Secret Santa? If my husband hadn’t called, we would’ve shown up Thursday, with pies and casserole, to a house full of people who despise us.
I’m just thankful we found out, because I really don’t think anyone would’ve said anything, and without the rest of our family there it would’ve been very uncomfortable even if we were invited.
Well as the saying goes, “don’t count your chickens before they are hatched”
Not to be mean but I never assume anything. Maybe this is a good year to start your own Thanksgiving tradation. Things change, people change, the time change crap and all.
Make it a blessing, a new thing.
Yours is the opposite of my problem. My mother, who is welcome every single year to Thanksgiving and Christmas, does not think she is invited unless I document it in an email.
I can tell her to her face or via phone, but until I state in an email “we are having dinner at four and I or your grandchild will pick you up at three”, she does not think she is invited.
Heck one year when we lived next door she called to state that the turkey we were making smelled great and she hoped we had a nice Thanksgiving. I had to tell her four times I invited her to her face two weeks ago while she insisted I never EVER told her that.
I mean come on, she lives next door and I saw her everyday, if not twice a day. :rolleyes:
I’d have expected a bit more notice, particularly because last year they said they’d be taking over the tradition. The only thing left to do is visit and leave a bunch of these everywhere.
Consider yourself lucky and start your own Thanksgiving tradition and screw the rest of them.
Growing up, I dreaded Thanksgiving…we would go to my grandparents’ house (Over the river and through the woods…) and I loved my grandparents dearly.
However, my uncle and cousins on my father’s side were insufferable assholes. They monopolized the television with 5 football games in a row, they ate like pigs and I mean that literally - snorting and gobbling and licking their fingers - and my uncle worked for a munitions plant and proudly claimed to have created every bullet that killed “those gooks in Vietnam”. Even as a little kid, I hated that side of the family and when we finally never had to go there again for Thanksgiving, it was one of the happiest holidays ever!
Again - consider yourself lucky to find out now. Make a new tradition, make some new dishes, invite some friends over and finally - enjoy the day and be thankful you are not surrounded by assholes…you will never look back in regret!
I think the Mil and Fil are the ones that have been hurt the worst here. I have to wonder how they must feel, being relegated to “leftovers”. BiL is an insensitive A-hole.
‘How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child.’
There’s still time. Get the turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and the rest of the stuff and go to MIL’s and FIL’s and make Thanksgiving dinner for them. If the other BIL is not going to A-hole’s house, invite him too.
I’ll send you some Good Cheer Vibes from our place – by some miracle, the (ahem) challenging relatives won’t be here, but the fun and amusing ones will.
And my FIL is bringing plenty of “Three-Buck Chuck” from Trader Joe’s.
See, this is the opposite of my experience this year. I honestly don’t remember that we said we were hosting T-Day this year, but that’s why my husband is in charge of knowing stuff like that. Fortunately my inlaws are the type to discuss this stuff at least a little in advance. At the very least, the calls two weeks ago asking what they should bring would have tipped me off!
My husband also remembers that my father-in-law and mother-in-law swore after last year that they weren’t hosting Christmas this year, but my FIL’s response to that, from about a month ago, was (paraphrased), “Well, I guess since I’ve forgotten why I said that, I’ll try it again.”
Perfect answer. Call it ‘Our First A-hole Free Thanksgiving’. Well, privately at least. The 'rents won’t go for that bad language stuff. Still, make it a party & a half.
Of course, I’d still probably try to be spiteful to the A-hole side of the family. I’m wondering how much it would cost to pay a pizzeria to deliver a pie to them with “Happy Thanksgiving” spelled out in pepperoni? (Double-bonus if you know that any one of them is allegic to pepperoni) Of course, it would work better if it was a truly crappy pizza place like ‘Dominoes’ or worse…
We’re definately relieved that we won’t have to spend the day with them. We’ll visit MIL & FIL and take them the food I was going to fix for the assholes. Nextyear we’ll have them at our house. The only reason we’ve never hosted it before is because we don’t have enough room for the entire family.
My husband was livid when he found out that his parents were told not to come and they would get leftovers. But his parents weren’t bothered by it. That BIL is notorious for being insensitive. He told his dad, he didn’t mind helping him pay to get the AC fixed, because he (the dad) would die soon, and he’d get it back then.
When my husband got laid off, and the other brother was having money problems, Evil BIL would send out emails bragging about how much money he has in the bank, with pictures of the new things he had bought. He did offer to pay my husband to mow his yard, but got pissed off and called him “ungrateful” when my husband got a job and couldn’t mow on the designated day.
OK, this goes Way Beyond sending Dominoes pizza. This level of asshattery approaches the free blanket-party level. If your parents don’t specifically exclude him/her from their wills (or specify that they get $1 each and no more, to be paid in pennies), then they are Fools.
Insensitive? Insensitive!? A person in a coma is insensitive. This waste of human flesh goes Miles Beyond insensitive. I’d bet this asshat makes friends wherever he goes. Sadly, this probably means that you’d have to stand in a pretty long line just to sugar his Mercedes’ gas tank. Not that you’d stoop to do it. Not that its what he deserves*.
*Because what he deserves, which is imprinting ‘Louisville Slugger’ backwards across his forehead, may not be legal in your state.
Bats I’m glad y’all won’t have to deal with that piece of work. Is there anyway you can have an A-Hole free Christmas too? Now that would be a good new tradition.
Seriously, go to the InLaws and have a wonderful Thanksgiving there.
I am unwelcome in my step-daughter’s home. Because of that choice, my step-daughter and her father have not seen each other for a year and a half. We have also not seen two of our granddaughters, our grandson or my husband’s son or son-in-law.
I have no idea what I have done to inspire such contempt. She has become mentally unstable and threatened suicide.
Her father and I are in our mid-sixties. This will be our second Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. “They” are once again going to the mountains to be with my son-in-law’s family.
This is the same family that snubbed us at their other son’s wedding activities that we drove two days to get to. The same family that was present the night that I was invited to leave my step-daughter’s house for good.
For two of my grandchildren, it’s their last years at home. Their house was the heart of all family activity.
Zoe, I’m sorry you’re going through that. I know how aggravating it can be when someone has such strong feelings against you and you don’t know what you’ve done to deserve it.
