Thanks.
Never knew I needed all these things.
I received a new catalog in the mail:
Dr. Leonard’s
Thumbing thru I see lots of ‘as seen on TV’ type things.
Bunion relievers, compression socks ( I need those). Clothing easy to put on. Lotsa Velcro things.
Oh, my! Then I get to page 38.
Shocked, I tell you what! Well, I never…
This innocent, non-descript catalogue has WHAT?, for sale?
Getting old might not be too bad, it seems.
Adult toys, I presume? 
Yep.
'Dr. Leonard’s
Your authority on health and wellness."
I swear it says that on front of the catalog.
I’m so ‘lucky’ I somehow got on their mailing list.
My wife wound up on the mailing list for the “Pyramid Collection” catalog, or, as we call it, the “Stevie Nicks Collection” – it’s full of funky blouses and skirts, New Age-y decor, crystals, tarot decks, etc. A few months ago, I took a glance through the catalog, and noticed that there were also several pages of similar sorts of “wellness devices.”
I usually throw the catalogs and magazines in a box for the grandkids to cut up and play paper dolls.
I can imagine them making a Barbie bordello with this one.
I’m gonna have to be careful what I put in the box, from now on
“That’s a fascinating obelisk y’all have outside of Barbie’s house, there, kiddos. The way the sun is coming in through the windows … it … almost appears to be vibrating !”
I’ll see myself out now
I wonder if Dr. Leonard and Harriet Carter are in cahoots?
I’m gonna feel different when I go visit my old Auntie in the senior living facility.
No wonder peeps are so happy there. I thought they were putting goofy juice in the water.
Remind me to tell you the story about my late aunt, and the cannabis joint she had at the nursing home where she lived… 
I really need to hear that story, @kenobi_65
Mattel is updating Barbie, so such a thing might be available at your local toy store any day now.
Maybe try page 39?
Oh, did you get the same catalog?
They are part of the same enterprise:
[from Harrietcarterperks.com]
AmeriMark, Anthony Richards, Beauty Boutique, Carol Wright, Complements, Dr. Leonard’s, Essentials, Feel Good Store, Harriet Carter, Healthy Living, LTD Commodities, The Lakeside Collection, Time for Me and Windsor Collection are our Premier Brands. You can earn 10% back on any item you purchase at any of our Premier Brands, regardless of whether you buy it online, over the phone, or by mail!
In my experience, if you order from one of them you will soon be bombarded by most of the rest of them.
I remember seeing a Barbie Lingerie set 30 years ago. Might not have been Mattel, but it was definitely marked for Barbie.
Thank you, @BippityBoppityBoo.
I feel well informed.
There was a family of catalogs I looked forward to every year. “Things You Never Knew Existed” (home to every conspiracy known to humankind), “The Lighter Side,” and “Betty’s Attic.” A couple of years ago, the parent company gave up the ghost with no warning.
I grieved. I got a lot of really cool t-shirts from those catalogs!
Well, another company decided to pick up the fallen banner–it may have been the Harriet Carter bunch. I didn’t give the reissued catalogs a full perusal to see if the same wild whacked out goods are still offered.
Oh, BTW: if you see a gizmo in the Dr Leonard’s catalog that looks like the greatest thing since sliced bread (actually, it is a long-handled lotion dispenser so you can apply lotion to your back), DON’T bother. It is very cheaply made, and no matter what you do, the damned thing won’t work.
~VOW
I could never understand why ones cheek might need to be vibrated. Any explanations?
TMJ?
perhaps?
That’s an interesting idea. Do we have any volunteers for further testing? My own jaw aches.
I was on that mailing list for a while. You have perfectly branded it. Thank you for the laugh, @kenobi_65