Dear ex-birdguy,
This is going to be the last time you let me down. Backing out of the concert at the last minute by leaving a voicemail and not telling me the reason was shitty. You know I spent $90 per ticket and drove up to Baltimore (a two and a half hour round trip) to pick them up the day before the concert. You know how much I was looking forward to seeing you. I spoke with you the night before the concert, and everything was fine. Our plans were still on. Then, and hour and a half later, you call and leave me a voicemail, saying someting about how you have a “friend in trouble,” and you can’t make it. You say you can’t talk about it now, and you’ll talk to me later. What could have possibly happened in that hour and a half that would result in you not being able to go to the concert the next day? Five full days have gone by, and you still haven’t called me to explain what happened. This is the last time I will let you jerk me around like this.
We were together for 9 years. In that time, you cheated on me and broke my heart several times. But you crawled back and I forgave you because I love you. I love you more than anything. But loving someone who hurts you over and over is not healthy, and I need to quit you once and for all. Ten months ago, we were living together, and everything was great. Then one day, out of the blue, with no warning, you say you don’t want to live with me anymore. To this day I still have received no explanation.
So I started a life on my own, got a new job and a new place, and after a few months, you start calling me…calling me once a week just to talk. Being so sweet and nice to me. You say you want to see me, you want to come see my new place. We have a great time together, and it was great seeing you. I think maybe you are coming around, maybe you still do love me. You come to see me several more times, each time being nicer and sweeter. The week before last, you invited me out to see an old college friend’s band play, and we had the best time. I have known you for 10 years, and I thought I could tell that you still love me.
So I thought it would be so much fun to go to the Jimmy Buffett concert with you. You’ve been to so many Buffet concerts, and you love him. Remember how much fun we had the time we went to see Buffett together? Well I made a mistake. You call me the night before the concert and say you can’t go. You give me a very mysterious and vague excuse about a “friend in trouble.” It’s been five days, and I still haven’t heard from you.
I know why you haven’t called, because you don’t want to tell me the truth, because you know how much it will hurt me. You know deep down inside that you have treated me shitty, despite the fact that I treated you like gold, and loved you more than anything. You should feel guilty, because you’ve screwed me up. I don’t know how I’ll ever get back to normal. I know the who your “friend in trouble” is, it’s another girl. Someone you never told me about. Someone who’s probably having your baby. It’s been 10 months since we broke up, I can do the math. I always knew this would happen. My first two serious boyfriend ended up getting girls pregnant right after we broke up. Both ended up marrying those girls. I always said if that happened again, it would just kill me. Why can’t you just do me a favor and tell me the truth, so I can hate you and move on.
I hate the way you make me feel. You make me feel like dying. Your actions made me so upset, I punched a brick wall and bloodied my knuckles. Your actions made me take my sharpest knife to bed with me…thank goodness I passed out before I was able to add another cut next to the one I made a few years ago after you screwed me over. The antidepressants I am on made me feel better for a while after we broke up. But now that you’ve come back into my life, I might need to up the dose.
Thanks a lot, ex-birdguy, for runing my life. I never want to see you again.
Good riddance,
birdgirl
