Thanks for breaking my heart again, ex-birdguy (long)

Dear ex-birdguy,

This is going to be the last time you let me down. Backing out of the concert at the last minute by leaving a voicemail and not telling me the reason was shitty. You know I spent $90 per ticket and drove up to Baltimore (a two and a half hour round trip) to pick them up the day before the concert. You know how much I was looking forward to seeing you. I spoke with you the night before the concert, and everything was fine. Our plans were still on. Then, and hour and a half later, you call and leave me a voicemail, saying someting about how you have a “friend in trouble,” and you can’t make it. You say you can’t talk about it now, and you’ll talk to me later. What could have possibly happened in that hour and a half that would result in you not being able to go to the concert the next day? Five full days have gone by, and you still haven’t called me to explain what happened. This is the last time I will let you jerk me around like this.

We were together for 9 years. In that time, you cheated on me and broke my heart several times. But you crawled back and I forgave you because I love you. I love you more than anything. But loving someone who hurts you over and over is not healthy, and I need to quit you once and for all. Ten months ago, we were living together, and everything was great. Then one day, out of the blue, with no warning, you say you don’t want to live with me anymore. To this day I still have received no explanation.

So I started a life on my own, got a new job and a new place, and after a few months, you start calling me…calling me once a week just to talk. Being so sweet and nice to me. You say you want to see me, you want to come see my new place. We have a great time together, and it was great seeing you. I think maybe you are coming around, maybe you still do love me. You come to see me several more times, each time being nicer and sweeter. The week before last, you invited me out to see an old college friend’s band play, and we had the best time. I have known you for 10 years, and I thought I could tell that you still love me.

So I thought it would be so much fun to go to the Jimmy Buffett concert with you. You’ve been to so many Buffet concerts, and you love him. Remember how much fun we had the time we went to see Buffett together? Well I made a mistake. You call me the night before the concert and say you can’t go. You give me a very mysterious and vague excuse about a “friend in trouble.” It’s been five days, and I still haven’t heard from you.

I know why you haven’t called, because you don’t want to tell me the truth, because you know how much it will hurt me. You know deep down inside that you have treated me shitty, despite the fact that I treated you like gold, and loved you more than anything. You should feel guilty, because you’ve screwed me up. I don’t know how I’ll ever get back to normal. I know the who your “friend in trouble” is, it’s another girl. Someone you never told me about. Someone who’s probably having your baby. It’s been 10 months since we broke up, I can do the math. I always knew this would happen. My first two serious boyfriend ended up getting girls pregnant right after we broke up. Both ended up marrying those girls. I always said if that happened again, it would just kill me. Why can’t you just do me a favor and tell me the truth, so I can hate you and move on.

I hate the way you make me feel. You make me feel like dying. Your actions made me so upset, I punched a brick wall and bloodied my knuckles. Your actions made me take my sharpest knife to bed with me…thank goodness I passed out before I was able to add another cut next to the one I made a few years ago after you screwed me over. The antidepressants I am on made me feel better for a while after we broke up. But now that you’ve come back into my life, I might need to up the dose.

Thanks a lot, ex-birdguy, for runing my life. I never want to see you again.

Good riddance,

Admirable, if somewhat tardy.

Now if you will just say these things to him and not let him come “carwling back” again and foolishly take him back again.

No man is worth hurting yourself over and wasting ten years of your life to be cheated on time and time again.

Get a backbone and tell him the next time he calls you (no matter how sweet he is) that you are done. Hang up. Leave him alone. Get as far away from him as you possibly can and…


Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me over 10 freaking years, then I have no room to complain.

You’re right, Aries28, I need to do exactly what you said. I will print our your post and keep it with me, so I’ll remember what to do when he calls…

Wait a minute. Wasn’t you just smooching with “Joshua,” in another thread?

Thats what I was just thinking… Well? :dubious:

Yes I was. I met Joshua after ex-birdguy and I broke up. So it’s not like there was any cheating going on. I think it’s OK to be interested in two guys at the same time, but if you start dating one of them, you gotta forget about the other. Well I wasn’t dating either of them…so please don’t make me out to be a bad guy! I’m just a wounded soul looking for love… ;(

I’m not judging you, but if I were ‘Joshua’, and I sensed that you were on the rebound in a major way, as you obviously are, I would run like hell. What reassurance are you offering him that you’re not just going to use him to get over birdguy and then toss him aside like an old shoe?

Yeah, what the hell is going on here?

A few comments:

  1. “you’ve screwed me up. I’ll never get back to normal.” It’s your responsibility to be a complete, happy person, not his. You chose to let him “screw you up.”

  2. Why were you trying to get back together with him??? If he’s done all these terrible things, why were you hanging out with him? Why be friends with someone who’s hurt you?

  3. I think you need a good period of time alone. To find out who you are. To grow a little self respect.

“so I’ll remember what to do when he calls…”

You don’t need to print anything out! Just hang up! What do you need to talk to him for? You know he’s a snake, (according to you.)

Ultimately, the responsibility to make good choices rests with you, not him. Smarten up a bit.

OOOOOOOOOOH OK now I gotcha… ever think about women? :stuck_out_tongue:

Oh, another thing:

Sorry if I’m coming off as harsh, but you’re really letting this guy walk all over you. It’s one thing if a guy stabs you in the back, it’s another thing to keep cleaning the knife for him!

Maybe birdbrain…er birdboy got a vibe from you on this Joshua guy and that’s why he gave you the ol’ heave-ho. Either way, maybe you just need some “you” time and leave the romance hunting for another day when you’re not so…conflicted.

Why not go for a walk in the woods to calm down?

Well I thought I was over birdguy, until he started calling again. Then I got confused. Besides, I don’t think “Joshua,” knows what I am going through…afterall I never really spoke to him about it, so I doubt he sensed I was on the rebound.

You’re right, Stephi, that is the same advice I would give any friend. That is the logical and rational advice. But it’s so much easier said than done. Sometimes it’s hard to let your logical mind rule over your emotional one. Sigh. That’s why it’s so hard, but I admit I look like a total dumbass in my OP. I guess I could really use a kick in the ass from you guys.

Thanks for the advice, Guinastasia, that’s a wonderful idea.

I just spewed Mt. Dew on my screen…thanks a lot…but that was so freakin funny. :smiley:

No problem, I was just confused.

For a lonely wounded soul it sure looked like you were getting a lot of action :wink:

My advice? It seems to me that you’re investing a lot in these guys’ behavior.

Take care of you. They’ll do what they’ll do.

Coldfire locked my “Joshua” thread. I didn’t know we weren’t allowed to post more than once a day to the BBQ Pit. Or I guess he didn’t like the fact they were about similar subjects. I think that’s kind of unfair, because all I was doing was blowing off some steam over two potential relationships gone wrong…getting it all out helps me feel better. I thought that was what the BBQ Pit was for. Now I feel like I’m being portrayed as a bitch or slut because I had feelings for two guys at the same time, and because Coldfire didn’t agree with it, he locked the second thread. I’ve never seen anything else like that happen before, now I feel like a jerk.

I’m glad you’re being entertained at my expense. I guess that is the risk you take when you post something personal on the board, huh?

I think that our wonderful Mr. Coldfire thought, like some of us did, that Joshua was the SAME guy as mr. ex-or so-to-be-ex birdguy.

He probably assumed that it was a double post in the sense it was about the same topic.

Not to speak for a mod…

Please don’t hurt me… :wink: