Thanks for the abject humiliation, my anonymous co-worker.

Thanks for sending that email to our boss. You know, the one where you told her that you’d heard me say that my son had been sent home from day care on Monday because of suspected head lice.

Thanks for expressing your concern, moron. Thanks for doing the concerned co-worker thing. You know, you could have just approached me and said “hey, I heard you say your son maybe had head lice? How’s it going?” before you emailed Maria. Perhaps then you would have discovered that no, my son does not have them. Perhaps then you would have discovered that he’s just got a pretty bad case of dry skin, due to the wacky weather we’ve been having. I know. I’ve got it too. Perhaps then Maria wouldn’t have called the clinic, and told them about my son’s non-problem. Perhaps then the clinic wouldn’t have said that I needed to be checked as well–just to be safe. Perhaps then I would not have had to go sit in the ladies’ room, with people coming in and out, while the clinic nurse inspected my head. And perhaps then I would not have had to hear her say “It’s looks like you might have a nit or two, but I’m not sure. It’s easy to mistake other things for nits. But perhaps, just to be safe, you should go home. I’ll check you again tomorrow.”

The clinic nurse was very nice, and quite sympathetic. Today was her first day working at City Hall. She’s spent the last several weeks traveling from school to school, doing head checks for lice. But even she couldn’t say with certainty that I do have them.

Yes, I will behave as if I do have them. I will treat my hair (for the second time this week), and go back to work tomorrow. If anyone asks me why I went home today, I will politely say “Why are you asking me that question? Don’t you already know?” because I know you’re talking about it. Whoever sent that email to Maria has already 'fessed up to someone else in the office. I know. As much as I love working there, I know that there are only a small handful of us that can keep our damn mouths shut.

Oh yeah–I happened to talk to our union steward on my way out. She noticed I was pissed. I told her what was up. She was absolutely incredulous that the clinic would take such a step. I had no clue that this was something that they apparently haven’t done before. I called the grievance committee chairman. He too was completely blown away. So, my co-worker who chooses to remain anonymous, your cover may just be blown. If I have been wrongfully sent home, I will grieve, and I will demand that any sick and annual time taken from me today be returned. That, of course, will require a very minor investigation. And I will be told who sent that email.

And I don’t give a shit how apologetic you get. Unless it’s work-related and I have no fucking choice, I will not be speaking to you again.


If you had been just a tiny bit more vindictive in there, it would have been a solid 9.5.

What you said, except I gotta bump it to 9- that last sentence was hot, blue and righteous, especially said by a nice lady.
You go Persephone.

[sub]I gotta cousin owes me a favor in the bronx- Vinnie o’Shea- want me to call 'im?[/sub]

oooohh… boo who…
Sorry man. Not talking to someone - with a friggin caveat mind you… as the wrap-up line to damn good rant is like not entering the water smoothly on another wise perfect dive.

Now - I’m no Pitmeister myself, but I just saw something more scathing than that in General Questions. By a newbie.

The whole rant got me excited…I got mad…I was embarrassed, and upset…

I wanted RETRIBUTION!!! Dammit!!!
I just wanted to know there was going to be some suffering going on in that office by the perp, that’s all.

Is adult head lice such a risk to coworkers, anyway? I understand that kids get it from each other in school (and it’s damned common, and has nothing to do with hygiene). But I didn’t think that possible head lice in an adult was a reason to clear the decks. Is there something I don’t know?

There have been times I’ve thought they should maybe send me home with my bad case of gas (for the protection of all other coworkers) but that’s a different thing…

Yeah, but the caveat itself was…
…well, it was kinda hot.
Ok, but the line preceding that one? C’mon, you can jsut see the veins standing out in her neck.
I mean, right?
It’s like, oh, i dunno, classy deadliness? The kind that is real, as opposed to puffed up non-threateny?
It’s like James Bond as opposed to that bad guy in the Austin Powers movies, Dr. Evil or whatever his name was.
Hey man, I gotta stand by my score.
This all supposes that the rant itself was pretty hot- that goes without saying, IMHO.
Excellent, if somewhat staid form. Gutsy, vulnerable, (Big points there- adds more of the class- even better, makes it kind of a Female/Bondian type class- velvet steel, y’know what I’'m sayin?)

Use of ‘concerned co-worker thing’- hip, contemporary
Use of *Maria’s actual name[/]- biggy here- means she’s totally getting into it, no artsy fartsy clever shit here, this is real.
“Really” gonna do the grievance thing- ok, so it goes back to the velvet steel thing- no puffed up profanity, no gratuitous histrionics. Straight forward declaration of intent- simple, unguilded ala Cher in Mask.
Yup, I stand by my 9. I totally understand your desire for the meat visuals though. I got em too. But not here, my friend. This is Norma Rae, not Terminator III

My supervisor is encouraging me to grieve this. She firmly believes that a) my privacy was violated, b) my co-workers are ignorant, and c) Hi Opal!

My grievance committee chairman doesn’t know if this was a privacy violation or not. He spoke to the Labor Relations guy, and LR said “I’m not sure either. Sometimes public health issues (and lice is a public health issue) supercede individual rights.” Typhoid Mary, basically. I understand that. I was strongly encouraged to check with the Health Department, though, and see what their take is. I shall be doing that this weekend.

inor had it dead-to-rights, too–the veins were standing out on my neck yesterday. I was so unbelievably pissed I couldn’t even swear properly. Today is a new day, though.

To My Ignorant-Assed Co-Workers:

I simply cannot tell you just how much I appreciated going in to work this morning, and discovering that my chair had been sprayed. I may not have noticed but for one thing–whoever did it left a cleaning cloth on my chair. Christ, wasn’t it enough for you to shove your foot up my ass and force me out the door yesterday? You just had to smack me in the face, didn’t you?

Oh, and another thing I really enjoyed today–your silence. Not a fucking one of you said so much as “hello” to me today. No, I take that back. Maria did. She called me in to her office and planted herself firmly on MY side in this whole issue.

But you know what? I thought at first it was because you were angry with me for “putting you at risk.” I know some of you asked Maria why I even came to work prior to leaving yesterday. I also know what her answer was–you do not know my personal situation. BUT, I told Maria precisely why I came to work–quite simply, I did not know I had a problem. My children don’t have nits. I was not itching. Had I even suspected that I might have them, believe me, I would have done you the favor of staying home.

However, as the day wore on, I began to think a little differently. I realized that because I did leave yesterday, you all thought I had lice. And when I showed up today with clearance from the nurse, you realized that you were wrong. I think you were embarrassed. And to that I say–GOOD. I hope you feel the same level of humiliation I felt yesterday. I hope you feel so guilty about what you put me through yesterday that it keep you up all night. Fuck you. Fuck you all.

And while you’re wallowing in your own ignorance, take a minute to read my new screen-saver:

It’s okay to ask a question. What you don’t know can hurt others.


I think that other lil thread done you some good.

No explanations- 19.5 total

The inner me feels her pain. I feel the humilitation.

It scores a perfect ten on my justification meter.

The problem is, the anarchist vengeful me wants to crawl up and die.
Yeah, the screen saver is clever and reasonable. It’s kind of cool that you have the supervisor on your side.

…but they sprayed the chair man. They sprayed the chair.
Had they walked away after day one, I could see see dropping the grudge. But they had to spray the chair.
I want a little revenge. I want to know who it was. I want to know what trap that has been set to return the favor. I want to know what little rumor was created to discredit the backstabber. I want to know the text of the anonymous e-mail that was sent, using a proxy server accessed from a public library located in another town with a fake id[sub]don’t get yourself in trouble, you know?[/sub] informing the office of an imaginary love child or tawdry affair.
I just want to see a little pay back. Being even-tempered and reasonable just doesn’t get a high score from me in a pit rant.

Well, and I see your points.
But I say- you will- this sleeper is gonna be a runaway, smash hit, remember you heard it here first.
It’s got everything- standy-outy neck veins, cold and hot invective, a bouncy cutey Sandra happy-ass Bullock heroine, coming to grips with her human side and coming out the stronger for it, pathos, grit, ignorant evil masses, and a boss named Maria. You mark my words, Freedom, it’s going to be all you require in entertainment bang for your buck and more.
I give it a very definite, wavy thumbs-up and look forward to what this little fireball has in store for us next.

So, ya got a video pick for our viewers this week?

[aw geez]

I was doing fine 'till I got to the part about spraying your chair.

[walks over and grabs Persephone in huge rib-crunching bear hug]

Yea, verily, thou dost truly rock.

[goes down to the moronic co-worker’s cubicle and sneezes all over her keyboard while she’s in the john]


Heh. :cool:

You wanna know what trap has been set to return the favor?

No trap, really.

You see, it’s just the people in my office that have done this thing. Other people in the building are speaking to me.

So, I’ve told a few people about what happened.

Not a lot of people, but enough.

Enough people have been revulsed by my co-workers actions that it’s may to take some work on their part to earn back their good names. And in truth, prior to this, they did have good names. I’ve worked there for six years, and up until this event, I’ve had no problems with anyone.

See, I’m not all that vengeful. I can see their point of view–to an extent. And if any one of them ever chooses to apologize, I shall accept it graciously and move on as if nothing happened.

Until such time, though, my silence shall be as loud as theirs. Unless, of course, they happen to overhear me speaking to my union steward and/or grievance committee chairman about what step shall be taken next. It’s no secret that my boss and my union rep aren’t just on my side–they are hot. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s much I can actually grieve. I did speak to another co-worker today (from a different office) and I told her about the whole incident. After she picked her jaw up off the floor, she said “Oh, that must be why Maria came up here on Thursday, and stormed into Doug’s (the operations supervisor) office positively livid.” I don’t know if that’s why, but I sure hope so.

Thanks for your support, folks. I think when I go back in to work Monday, maybe I’ll scratch my head a little, just for effect. Heh.

I repeat, (well, I re-paraphrase), This is Lecter, not the Penguin.
Did I say this would get better?
Did I say just wait and let events unfold?
No, not flashy, mi amigo, but, very Blaire Witch Project, it’s all the more scary and gritty for what isn’t there. It reaches out and draws you in, it invites, nay, requires your participation.
This is beyond the pale, far better than the Pit’s current crop of glitzy, high-dollar, do-nothing TedDansoncardboardcutout rants.
This is the feel-good thread of the week!
I say, full admission with popcorn!
[sub]I really gotta talk to the studio about this set-up, you’re soooo instant-gratification. This is supposed to be a thoughtful commentary. Profound statements de riguer. You jsut don’t get it, with all your [beavis and butthead, whichever one was the one with the little hyperactivity problem- the blonde one voice] now, Now, NOW[/voice]mentality and take on things.
This is RANT, for gods sake, mumblemumbleetc

Boy, do you work with some ignorant clods!

Headlice are endemic to kids, they are a very very minor thing, and are pretty easily cured. I would say that , yes your privacy was violated. They actually made you submit to a physical examination in a public rest-room. I’d be on the phone with a lawyer!

All the best to you,

Well, the rest room isn’t public. It is for employees only. That’s what was humiliating–I had to sit there while other employees came in and out. People I know. People I see every day. The clinic supervisor would not let me be seen in the clinic, due to the possible risk. And they didn’t make me submit to an examination–I could have refused. However, I would not have been allowed to return to work without clearance from either them or my own doctor. But there’s no doubt in my mind that my doctor wouldn’t have seen me in his office, either. Hell, my children’s pediatrician won’t see kids with head lice. It’s the possible risk.

Oh, and FWIW, my boss was more than willing to allow me to be examined in her own office, and the clinic was going to go along with that. I said HELL NO to that one. The rest room was actually my idea. Maria’s office does have a door, but that door has a window. That would be akin to actually inviting my co-workers in while I was checked.

DDG’s post made me think of something (thanks for the hug, DDG! I needed that!). I am currently getting over a cold, that I did in fact catch at work. There’s more of us at work with this cold than have escaped it. Why don’t things like colds fall under the same rules as things like lice and pink eye? I’ve had pink eye twice. Both times, I was required to bring a doctor’s note before I could return to work, and these were for different employers. One can get rid of pink eye and lice more quickly than one can get rid of a cold, if it’s done right. Any legal eagles out there that can answer this?

Heyseuss & Great Goddessi, Persephone! What a sad bunch of nit-pickers ya work with. (Sorry, had to do it…) In that vein, ya ougghta start sayin’ things like:

“I understand your concern. Maria is going over this issue with a FINE-TOOTHED COMB.”

"Ya know, ya gotta watch what you say around here. It’s like this office is BUGGED!

“If there’s one thing I really can’t stand, it’s LICE AND INNUENDO!”

I’m sure you can come up with many more. Shouting caps intended to indicate the subtle tone of voice necessary. Heh. Go get 'em, Amiga!

Freedom: I’ve met the fair Persephone, and have had the pleasure of babbling with her til five in the morning. She talks fascinatingly well. If I were working in an office with her, and she suddenly stopped talking to me, that would be fairly obvious retribution. Enough to singe the upraised eyebrows of all hunkered down within striking distance of Flint.

I gotta say, I think you have done really well so far. It would be beneath you, but so much fun, to scratch your head vigorously whenever you are really close to your cow-orkers :slight_smile:


May I offer a suggestion? Not toward your co-workers in general, it was only one who is guilty of this heinousness.
If you find out who it is, in the presence of others, not only scratch your head, but then examine your fingertips closely, make a concerned-yet-oh-I’m-getting-used-to-this-by-now face, and then wipe them on your pants. Very cavalierly.

Or better yet, some office surface…

Do this seemingly without thinking about it, right in the middle of a conversation when you are the speaker…
(I know you can’t, but I sure had fun with the visuals)
We really do need an evil smiley face…

BTW, I am sorry for the bathroom thing- that’s horrible. The chair I could laugh off- really says something about them- mainly that you need to realize the (?)caliber of people you are dealing with.