So Sorry You Are Sick. Get Well Soon.

The BBQ Pit
1

I don’t think I have ever started a Pit rant against someone who isn’t here to read it. This morning I’m just sleepy and onery enough to make this a first.

GODDAMN IT! The two of you called it sick AGAIN! Must be Monday! Honest to God, how is it that you are fine all weekend (yeah, remember when I saw one of you at Sam’s Club yesterday?) and then as soon as Monday morning comes along you have a headache, hurt your back, been throwing up, have the sniffles, or have the fucking turkey trots?!?!

How is it possible that everyone else in this office manages to drag their asses out of bed and into work even though it would be so nice to sleep in one more day? Why is it no longer a surprise and almost expected that one or both of you will call in sick on Monday?

Thanks to the unreliability and laziness of both of you, the rest of us will YET AGAIN have to rearrange our appointments and schedules so we can handle yours. This means that the appointments you have scheduled today will now have to be intertwined into ours and as a result, the waiting time for veterans to see counselors will now be long.

We get the wonderful job of explaining to these people why you aren’t here and why they must sit around and be worked in. We get to listen to their frustrations as to why they are scheduled to see YOU, only YOU couldn’t be bothered to keep the appointment. As you know, this adds a lot of stress to someone suffering from severe post traumatic stress disorder who only leave their house on rare occasion to visit our office, or someone with schizophrenia and already confused. Why should you give a flying fuck? I’m sure you are still tucked nicely between your cozy sheets and have a fun filled day planned watching All My Children and Sally while the rest of us RESPONSIBLE employees bust our asses carrying your load as well as managing the frustration of your clients.

If I get a phone call from one of your irate clients, I swear to God, I am going to forward the call to your home number. In fact, I looked it up in the phone book and it is written on a yellow sticky here on my phone. I hope the call doesn’t catch you on your death bed or sitting on the pot. :rolleyes:

The next time you whine that you can’t take any good vacations like Sean’s trip to Cancun, Jodie’s trip to Ireland, or my five week trip to Europe, think about all the vacation and sick days you have wasted on your Monday morning farce and don’t come in tomorrow with your whiny, I’m-so-sick voice and expect any of us here to feel sorry for you.

Fucking lazy, irresponsible losers. Both of you.

Oh, and my new bra is scratching the hell out of me, but it is mauve lace, has matching panties, but dang it makes my boobs look really good so it’s almost worth the discomfort.

Almost.

Maybe I should have called in. :rolleyes:

2

I’d be really tempted to pull their records and see how many Mondays they called in sick. And then have a little talk with them about how maybe they need to adjust their lifestyle on the weekends so that they don’t keep coming down with Sunday-evening viruses.

Just so they know someone is on to them.

3

just a thought…

4

Do they ever not?

5

Ah, memories of a coworker who only seemed to get sick on Friday or Monday. He was an office joke. At least his absence didn’t cause problems like those you described…

The other side of this is when I really am sick on Friday or Monday, I’m afraid my boss or coworkers will think I’m goofing off…

6

How 'bout we give their jobs to the vets? Maybe the veterans would appreciate a steady paycheck more than this pair.

Mmmmmm, mauve.

7

I know exactly how you feel. There’s a person in my office who has taken more sick days in a month than I’ve taken in the eleven years I’ve worked at this company. The one that takes the cake for me is the day she called in sick because she had CRAMPS (Yes, I said CRAMPS. Didn’t we all stop using that excuse in junior high?) and I had come in to the office that SAME DAY after having four chunks taken out of that same . . . ummmm . . . area for biopsies. Talk about being PISSED! Cramps, my ass!

8

I would suggest a course of action, but I do not feel that doing so would be appropriate, so instead I shall just sit here and wonder why is it that you chose to share this information with us.

9

Many years ago I had the same problem with two of my staff. I would see them out on the weekend partying it up and come Monday morning they would both call in sick.

This meant that I would get called into work early to cover for them and then have to work my own shift later.

It was simple, I told them that if they were going to call in sick thery needed a doctor’s note and that no doctor would give them a note for being hungover.

Failure to do this would mean that we’d be finding some new staff who weren’t prone to Monday morning viruses.

I don’t believe either of these girls ever called in sick again, they came to work hungover and feeling like death but I never got called in early because they couldn’t make it.

10

Scratchy bras?

11

What’s worse is when the panties are scratchy, too… you walk in the room and see her grabbing at her crotch and she gets all embarassed, and you get all embarassed and the whole this is just plain awkward… all because of some scratchy panties.
I suppose the same could be said for scratchy bras.

12

Actually, I used to have a stomach problem that made me nauseated to the point of being incapacitated in my younger days, usually due to having to get up early on Mondays after sleeping in the whole weekend; however, I rarely called out sick because of it. Fortunately, those days when it hit particularly bad, I was able to call out sick and no one argued. Why? Because I went into work once in that condition - once. My boss took one look at me and sent me home.

Fortunately, I’m not the kind of guy to take advantage of that. When I called out sick, I was sick.

And, related but not necessarily pertaining to the two choice individuals in the OP - when you’re legitimately sick, people, stay the fuck home. I don’t want your flu, and neither do the 30 other people who work with you. The old adage “The best way to get rid of a cold is to give it to someone else” may be true, but we’d rather appreciate you didn’t put it to the test, you disease-ridden scumwaffle.

Esprix

13

damn well put! there’s someone here where I work that comes in sick all the damn time… I’ve even bitched at them repeatedly until they went home to see their doctor, they were so damn sick - I’m just glad I didn’t get it, too. Our problem is that our stupid company thought it would be clever to reward those with “perfect attendance”, so now people come to work ill all the damn time, just to get a fucking $50 gift cirtificate to a fucking restaurant. cheap ass bastards!

14

Or it may be that they don’t want to get fired. My roommate works for a woman who wouldn’t accept inclement death as a good excuse, let alone something as diaphanous as an upper respiratory tract infection.

BTW, if you are trying to get time off for a cold, try calling it that: an upper respiratory tract infection. It might go easier.

15

nope. they just want a free dinner.

16

Probably because being stuck in a scratchy bra all day is just this side of being locked in an Iron Maiden (form) on Tigg’s Torture Scale [sup]TM[/sup]

17

I know this isn’t the point of this thread, and yeah, those two morons should be reprimanded, but I’m 25 years old, and I regularly get cramps bad enough that I’m up all night with the dry heaves and can’t stand up in the morning. Luckily, they’re usually only that bad one day. So you bet your ass I’ve called in sick because of cramps. I’ve also had chunks taken out of that “ummm… area” as well and I’d take that any day of the week over cramps.

18

well, as a non-wearer of bra’s, I shall take your word on this. perhaps, then we should be glad that most bra’s are not made of wool?

19

ESPRIX, you have highlighted the horns of a dilemma upon which I am currently hung up. I feel like shit, not to put too fine a point on it – have for about ten days. I have some coldish, fluish, running-a-low-fever, hacking-up-a-lung crap that I can’t seem to get rid of.

Frankly, I suspect a few days in bed would help quite a bit, and Lord knows I’m having great difficulty dragging my ass out of said bed these past few days. And I know the people I work with – the paralegals and secretaries and other associates – would really prefer I stay home. But no! I am in private practice and I am new to the job and by God I must bill! The partners wouldn’t care if I stayed home – provided I can still bill 7.5 hours a day, which is of course totally impossible unless I want to lie my ass off fabricating work I haven’t done, which I will not do. So they expect me to be here. So here I am. Putting in my time and telling people that if I die at my desk I’ll expect at least a fucking plaque.

20

And therin lies the beauty of working with in a preschool: we don’t have to worry about passing the flu along to co-workers, the kids do it for us. Did ya notice that there’s a flu going around? We, including all 18 of the kids, got it last week. <shakes head> What worries me is that they say kids under the age of 5 get 4-10 colds a winter!! Hopefully the trend of the last couple of years- I get sick and lose my voice, will end with this illness. At least it’s back more than yesterday…