Okay, so nobody knows how to end an e-mail in a corporate setting. Everyone’s afraid we’re going to interpret their bluntly written, informative message as coldly authoritative, and that we’ll hold some petty grudge against them because of it, I guess. They have to soften every memo with “Thanks!” as a closing, even when it’s inappropriate (which it is, most of the time). I always imagine the messenger saying it in that sing-songy, two-syllable way (tha-anks!), while tilting her head. You’re giving ME the info I request it. You don’t have to thank me while doing so.
sorry, thanks
THANKS[size=1]D!I!C!K![/size]
You are truly blessed if this is the worst you have to deal with at your job.
Regards,
Frank
pizzabrat they are thanking you for the opportunity to do something that is productive because you know in this business climate the deadwood has got to go.
I am with Pizzabrat on this one. It is like the email or memo could read:
Hey sorry-piece-of-shit below me on the great middle management totum pole,
Do my job some more, so I can go beat off in the break room with all of my idiot friends while we make fun of the salary we pay you, which is minuscule compared to mine.
Ass clown.
Thanks,
Your loving and caring boss.
I’ve been known to send emails with no opening or closing. Just getting right to the point. I wonder if that bothers people, too.
FYI- it does. Stop doing that.
thanks!
Yeah, it always struck me that “Dear ___________” is redundant when it says “To: ________” right there in the header, and “Sincerely, Podkayne” is redundant when my sig file, which starts with my name, is right underneath it.
So people trying to be polite/ spread some goodwill at work gets you knotted up enough to bring it to the pit? I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re having an extremely bad day. Hope it gets better, Pizzabrat 
What I hate is “best”. Short, presumably, for “all the best”:
I have recieved e-mail with my name correctly spelled in the subject line, and incorrectly spelled in the greeting. I had to laugh. The subject was spelled correctly because I had typed it. My email is my intials plus some numbers @ my college.edu; so I’d typed my first and last names in the subject. Actually, anyone reading the subject of that e-mail should have known what I wanted without having to read the body of the e-mail. But, I typed more formal sentances anyway. When my professor replied, he left the subject line alone, but spelled my name wrong. Given the frequency with which I see my name misspelled, I didn’t hate him for it, but I did have to chuckle a little. Redundant? No. Contradictory? Yes.
Well, e-mails have caused difficulty in our workplace. People here don’t like an alternate closing (someone who put “Regards” was widely mocked) and “Thanks” is the standard closing. Usually if I’m sending an e-mail it’s to inform someone of something, ask for information, or request their action, and I feel it’s appropriate to thank them for their attention – just as I would thank attendees of a meeting. Common courtesy. In some cases where it’s inappropriate (such as a case where there is a dispute or someone is getting mean via e-mail), I don’t use it.
All my friends are using “Cheers!” to end their emails, even the ones who haven’t drank a drop of liquor in ages. I was using it for a while myself until I realized it sounds a little too party-animal-esque.
I’m guilty of the Thanks! but only when I’ve asked someone for something in the e-mail.
Other than that, my e-mails usually end in a blank space.
Like this.
I don’t use a salutation when responding to someone and they know me. My standard closing though is
Thanks,
“Gigi”
I only use “Thanks!” if it’s a friendly co-worker and I am happy to be corresponding with them. And sometimes
Many thanks,
“Gigi”
if I’m asking a big favor. I only use a salutation if it’s someone I’m scared of and don’t want to look brusque in front of, or if it’s someone who doesn’t know me.
I hate when someone writes and says,
Hello common-misspelling-of-“Gigi” [even though my actual name is spelled out in my addy],
My name of Joe Bloe and I am from the department of such-and-so.
Hello?!? Your name is right there in my in-box list and your addy, and I can easily look up your dept or gather it from the info you give me about your actual issue.
Are you a man?
I heard an interview last week on NPR with a woman who lived as a man as an experiment. She said that her research showed that men are more likely than women to send an e-mail with no salutatuion or closing. Her theory was that it has to with the different communication styles of men and women. Women tend to use more qualifiers, along with salutations and closings, whereas men are more simple and direct. Many don’t even sign e-mails.
“Dans l’attente de vos nouvelles, nous vous prions de croire, monsieur, à l’expression de nos salutations distinguées.”
I am so guilty of this. I do it on just about every email I send, regardless of the message. My main reason is that I’m always concerned about my tone in emails, I’m afraid I come off too bossy or rude. Tone can come out really weird in email and I just think you can’t be too careful.
But…I never ever use an exclamation point with my thanks. 