For the first time EVER I’ve been able to identify someone who is trying to spread an Urban Legend!
Well, it’s down to two people, but my money is on the one who told us…
SO had a visitor the other night. The guy seems nice enough, but there’s something about him that makes both of us feel cautious. Anyway, he’s talking to SO, starts telling him about how his sister-in-law is in Melbourne, and she sees this wallet fall out of some guy’s pocket. The guy doesn’t notice, keeps walking, she picks it up and yells out to the guy. He stops, she returns the wallet. The guy (who is of Middle Eastern appearence) is so grateful to her and opens it. To her surprise it is stuffed full of $100 notes. He puts his wallet away and says to her “Thank you for returning my wallet to me. I will reward your kindness. Take this advice - DO NOT GO TO THE MELBOURNE CUP THIS YEAR IF YOU VALUE YOUR SAFETY”. The Melbourne Cup is on next Tuesday (November 6th) and is a huge event, thousands attending, all that jazz. It’s the obvious choice if you want to reword an Urban Legend and set it in Victoria, Australia. But the fact that this guy said it was his sister-in-law means that either he made it up… or she did! From what I know of this guy, I would put money on him being the one to make it up.
I’ve been thinking of emailing him and getting him to repeat the story, and then slapping him with a link to Snopes! Probably better to let him think we believe it and see what other debunked stories he tries to tell us in future. This could be fun!
It makes you wonder why people spread these stories. To give themselves something interesting to talk about? To make themselves look clever and “in the know?” To experience the joy of deceiving someone?
Someone repeated the “incredible fuel-efficient carburetor” story to me once, claiming that a FOAF or whatever actually worked on the thing. This person was a known idiot so I chose not to debunk it at the time.
Stop me if you’ve heard it, but there’s a similar, albeit less threatening story doing the rounds over here in London - the setting is a tube train, upon which our noble hero and the mysterious and shadowy person of Middle Eastern descent are both sat. MASPOMED exits the train, leaving behind his briefcase. NH opens it (the best course of action with suspicious packages, I always find) to reveal stacks upon stacks of crisp £100 notes. Leaping agilely through the closing doors, he catches MASPOMED and returns the briefcase. MASPOMED is terribly grateful, and offers a financial reward (which is more than the cheap schmuck in the Oz version could be bothered to do.) NH, being noble, refuses all offers, knowing full well that virtue is its own reward. So MASPOMED, out of the goodness off his heart, offers the following advice:
“My friend, stay well away from Aberdeen Angus Steakhouses.”
NH (nervous and curious): "Why? Are…are they going to be attacked?
MASPOMED: “No, it’s just that they serve mediocre food at a high price and have a very poor desert selection.”
I lived down the hall from someone who always made up stories. It took me a while to catch on that almost everything she said was BS.
One day she forwarded me the e-mail about how Microsoft would send me some amount of money if I forwarded their e-mail. I told her that was phony, but she actually said, to my face, “They already contacted me.”
I don’t know if it’s pathological, or what. But she doesn’t seem to be able to help it, and I don’t know if she even knows the difference between reality and fantasy.
Cazzle…
I say, wait him out.
Then, keep track of his other stories that happened to his (insert friend/relative just out of reach enough to disprove, here)
Then, after about a year, SLAM the boy into submission with a STACK of hardcopies from Snopes.
Or, just stick your tongue out and go “pthlpthlpthlpthlpthlp” the next time he pulls this.
Thanks. I was trying to push the boundaries of taste and decency to get MAHOMED or some such, but I couldn’t lose the P for Person. Tsk.
Oh, and Cazzle, if you’ve got the time, energy and cash*, you might want to try the following.
Take note of a good, exciting UL which this fool has yet to spring on you. Adapt it, as best you may, to his particular circumstances. Hire some actors (this is the expensive bit) to set him up as the protagonist in the UL one fine night. When he tells the story of his crazy adventures, hopefully at a party, down the pub or in some other public setting and ideally when he’s trying to impress someone in whom he has a romantic interest, say “That’s funny, I got an email just like that the other day. Almost word for word. I checked it out, and its not true. Here’s the proof.” He will protest the truth of his story, but to no avail. Thus he will be made to look like some kind of meally-mouthed mendicant.
Next week, use a different story, and repeat. With any luck, the torture of becoming the boy who cried wolf will irritate him slightly, and cause him vexation when he has little else to think about. Hah!
AMR
*If you have the time, energy and cash to carry out this ridiculous scheme, can I advise you that you don’t? It would be futile.
My advice with these hoaxes: Don’t be shy about flaming the senders. When a simple-minded friend forwards an obvious hoax chain email to you, it is not enough for me to simply break the chain by not sending it. I always reply (to all, of course ) and let them know exactly how unoriginal and lame they are. Most common email and web hoaxes can be found on Cnet or any number of other places, so if you feel up to it you can include a link proving the story is false.
So since we’re talking of urban legends here, figger I’ll relay a recent occurrence.
Mom was in town staying with us last week for the birth of her first grandchild. We were watching CSI which had a storyline that started with the team finding the body of a scuba diver in a tree in the middle of a forest fire. At the start of the show, when the investigators forst came upon the scene, I busted out laughing. Mom asked what was so funny and I told her that exact setup was a common urban legend.
She asked me, “What’s an urban legend?”
I tried to keep my mind from boggling as I explained to her the story of the guy who wakes up in a hotel bathtub full of ice, with the words “Call 911 or you will die” written on his chest. I tried to describe the phenomena of wild tall tales that get passed around as fact. I tried to tell her about Snopes, but I dunno if it took. I think she was a little dissappointed that she wasn’t “with it” about this stuff.
While having lunch at a cafe close to my office two weeks ago, I overheard the “Don’t go to the mall on Halloween” story being relayed by a bus boy. He was telling the story as if it were the God’s Honest Truth, and when he came to the Money Shot, this is how it came out:
“…and I know it’s true because my mom knows a guy in California whose sister worked with a girl whose cousin knew the girl that dated the Arab Guy!!!”
Of course, I went through the usual routine of trying to squash the rumor right there on the spot, pointing out that it was an obvious UL, and asking the relayer to please, please, please check Snopes if he did not believe me. I don’t think he even wanted to believe that the story wasn’t true, and I really doubt that I was able to put him off the story in the least.
So why exactly is the site called “Snopes?” Yeah, I know it’s after Faulkner’s fictional Snopes family, but what’s the connection between them and Urban Legends? Is it just because the Snopeses are so obnoxious, or is there more to it?
Probably better to let him think we believe it and see what other debunked stories he tries to tell us in future. This could be fun!
) and let them know exactly how unoriginal and lame they are. Most common email and web hoaxes can be found on Cnet or any number of other places, so if you feel up to it you can include a link proving the story is false.