Boy, first my suitcase full of baboon noses goes astray, now this:
STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) – A Swedish couple hunting on a remote mountain Sunday in Sweden’s far northern province of Jaemtland found 70 pairs of shoes, all filled with butter. “If we knew who had done this we could make them clean this mess up,” Alf Kjaellstroem, a province spokesman told The Associated Press Thursday. “It’s not going to be pretty when the butter starts to rot. And we have to wait for the snow so we can get up there with the snowmobile.” He said there were 140 shoes of all kinds - sneakers, children’s shoes, high heels, boots and tap shoes - each stuffed with half a kilo (1.1 pound) of butter and spread out in the landscape. The find was similar to one done by artist Yu Xiuzhen’s in 1996. His exhibit “Shoes With Butter,” was laid out in the Tibetan mountains surrounding Lhasa, China.
One time I left my suitcase full of baboon noses under 140 butter-filled shoes. Good thing for that nice Swedish couple or I never would have found it.
Hopefully in the heat of the day the situation will clarify itself. Otherwise it appears to be evidence of a butter worshiping civilization exposed by a retreating glacier.
“The hiiiiiiills are alive with the smell of butter
High heels and tap shoes, full of rotting yuck!
The hills fill my nose with their rancid clutter
All Jaemtland now smells like a garbage truck.”
"Butter in tap shoes, and yogurt in high heels
Cream cheese, and ice cream, and oleo-smeared stacked heels
Beautiful footwear, all covered in cheese
These are a few of my favorite things.
Old coffee creamer on Prada-made sling backs
Milk-soaked Doc Martens and Converse in all black
Smelly, rank dairy products stuffed in my shoes
Manolo Blahnik’s new style, it can’t loose.
When the lace breaks
When the sole splits
When the cow won’t moo
I just slip on a pair of moldy old thongs
And suddently I feel brand new."
140 wicks would turn them into Tibetan butter lamps. In the early evening that could be quite aesthetic, and there wouldn’t be much to clean up in the morning.