“Our kid was just born, but there’s no way a Saturn will last long enough for his stubby little legs to grow long enough for him to notice there’s no rear-seat leg room, so that’s why we bought a Saturn. Once he’s older and playing soccer, we’ll buy a gas-guzzling behemoth of an unsafe SUV, but for now, cheap, safe, reliable, economical and small is the way to go!”
“My mom bakes the best apple pies in the world and works as a United States Flag mender. That’s why I voted for George W. Bush.”*
-
- No, not really.
“I had a monkey named Buckwheat and he liked to play patty-cake and he made me question my sexual idenity. That’s why I bought Butt Plugs.”
“I stuck it up my ass and sat on it. When I went to the doctor to get it removed, he discovered colo-rectal cancer and anal warts. That’s why I bought a Saturn.”
Oh, GOD!!! I fucking HATE those stupid Saturn commercials!!!
“I’m an upperclass whitebread hosebeast with a snot-nosed spoiled little brat. I’m trying to keep up with my neighbors - that’s why I bought a Saturn.”
I thought you just liked the Baby Jesus . {MAY NOT BE WORK SAFE}
“I’m always at least five to seven years behind on owning the latest in home entertainment. That’s why I bought a Saturn.”
Don’t worry, Hal…someone’ll get it…
Don’t worry, Hal…someone’ll get it…
[/QUOTE]
…Ohhhhh. You wily hedgehog you.
It was just sitting there in the snowstorm, with the keys in the ignition and already warm, and with the windows cleaned off. That’s why I stole the socks.
My cousin wouldn’t stop farting, so I shot him. That’s why I bought a Saturn.
Bingo! My husband and I were watching TV last night, and that damn soccer dad Saturn commercial came on. He said “My dick works and I have potent sperm. But only that one time. That’s why I bought a Saturn.”.
I told him after we have kids, if I ever want a mini-van, he’s welcome to divorce me.
I might want a hybrid SUV, but only if they make 'em a little safer.
Oooo, yeah, I hate the soccer dad. But the one I think I hate the most is the mom who’s like, “It took me forever to crap out my kid. I’m such a stereotypical suburban mom, look at my stereotypical suburban house, I do Pilates, I’m on the Atkins Diet, I’ve read all of Dr. Phil’s books, I’m so smug, don’t you just want to punch me?” Arrrrrgh.
Out of curiosity, how many of the people who have posted actually do drive Saturns? (I do.)
Get him!!!
I think my old beater car predates the existence of Saturns by quite a few years.
checks the year of the first saturn
Yup.
I was really drunk one night and some bogus astronomer convinced me I could own it for the low, low price of $1500. And that’s why I bought Saturn.
I do, too.
Mostly into things.
Well, at least you didn’t buy Uranus. That would’ve been embarassing!
[/quote=KCSuze]
My cousin wouldn’t stop farting, so I shot him. That’s why I bought a Saturn.
[/quote]
I just wanted to say that that is really fuckin funny.
Yes…embarassing. I’m glad I…didn’t.