The 2021 Bulwer-Lytton Winners are up!

Here they are

My faves:

The cat purred like a Geiger counter beside the fireplace which crackled like gunfire (which reminded Detective Greenwich of his service in The Ukraine and The Latvia), this feline being the only witness to the murder of the wet nurse and, unless purring counts, he wasn’t talking. Michael McDermott, Dublin, Ireland

Upon his death, Van Helsing wrote: “This Vexes me still to-day . . . with no Mirror able to cast his Curs’d Reflection, how did Dracula comb his hair so perfectly every time and achieve such a clean, close shave that brought the babes in truckloads??” - Donald J. Hicks, Jr., Manchester, NJ

To the rest of the world, General Sir Antony Alexander Agamemnon Hardcastle may have been the Scourge of the French, the Hero of the Borghorst Pass, and the fourth-worst enemy of the late Napoleon Bonaparte, but to the waitress at the Badger’s Head Tavern and Grill, he was just another customer – and if he called her “cutie pie” one more time, she was going to do to him with one fork what Boney couldn’t with a thousand men. - Scott Lyons, Stirling, Scotland

With one bound she was at the bookcase reaching for the heaviest book she could find to halt her attacker, a thesaurus of indeterminate, inconclusive, or unstipulated weight, ponderosity, or heftiness, with which she intended to pummel, lapidate or belabor her assailant’s skull, cranium or brainpan. - Stu Duval, Auckland, New Zealand

I love the Bulwer-Lytton contest! I made runner-up one time.

Maybe it needs to be a Thread Game for us Dopers.

I knew there was a Doper who had done well in it previously but I couldn’t think who it was.

Which year was that?

That was 2008. Three of us Dopers were actually mentioned that year, as being winners or runners-up. I hesitate to say exactly who, since we are an anonymous message board, after all; and as I recall, one winner/runner-up asked not to be identified on the SDMB (the Bulwer-Lytton people do ascribe entries to real names and real places, as per their rules). Still, it was big news here then, and it was fun.

As I recall, it was one Doper who started us off by saying, “Hey, Dopers, let’s try this!” We did, and three of us got a mention of some sort that year.

It sounds like fun, I may give it a shot for next year. There’s lots of good entertainment there – if you click on “Read the Winners” they have archives going back many years.

Some of them are truly Bulwer-Lytton-ish. Others are basically jokes. They are funny but not really in the spirit of simply being amusingly bad.

@Boyo_Jim won in, I think, 2007, and consequently had the custom title “Best of the Worst.”

Then apparently a couple of unidentified Dopers won in 2008: