Am I paranoid or do I deserve an answer? When people start “ahemming” in a distinctive, unpleasant style what does it mean? Nicole Kidman provides an excellent example of this in Eyes Wide Shut. Media people use it and I hear it in every day life. It is as if coughers all belonged to some sort of sect and wanted to assert their beliefs but have no other way of doing it. I’m certain this coughing has nothing to do with scientology but because the ahem sounds so nastily “exclusory” it could have everything to do with a Columbine High situation (in my mind at least). Think carefully before all “I don’t know what you mean” posts.
Ahem is a valid English interjection
From the American Heitage Dictionary of the English Language: Third Edition —
A word of advice: if you don’t know what a word means, check a good dictionary. 
(Ahem) I vote for paranoid.
Paranoia is a state of heightened awareness according to Timothy Leary (or someone). I suggest the “word” ahem, when used in the way I have carefully described, possibly indicates a form of transferable mental illness - something that is usually associated with a lack of insight. So being in denial is nothing to be ashamed of I suppose. The fact that a word has a dictionary definition doesn’t make that word innocuous. Motherfucker: A supreme insult/expletive based on the incest taboo. There, now you don’t have to worry.
I read G.Nome’s last post about 20 times before I realized why it didn’t make any sense: it’s not meant to be taken literally.
Heck no. It’s one of those word search puzzles. Ok, everyone, sharpen your pencils. Find as many words of three or more letters, down or diagonal (across is cheating) in the following. You have 60 seconds. GO!
Special Bonus Game!: Search the text below for Bible Code-style fun. Find “Illuminati” and win a free trip to the next meeting of the Trilateral Commission!
paranoiais
astateofhe
ightenedaw
arenessacc
ordingtoti
mothyleary
orsomeonei
suggestthe
wordahemwh
enusedinth
ewayihavec
arefullyde
scribedpos
siblyindic
atesaformo
ftransfera
blementali
llnesssome
thingthati
susuallyas
sociatedwi
thalackofi
nsightsobe
ingindenia
lisnothing
tobeashame
dofisuppos
ethefactth
atawordhas
adictionar
ydefinitio
ndoesntmak
ethatwordi
nnocuousmo
therfucker
asupremein
sultexplet
ivebasedon
theincestt
abootheren
owyoudonth
avetoworry
Now I’m scared.
I think fnord you’re reading fnord a little too much fnord into things fnord here.
G. Nome said:
Did you really get that from a dictionary, or did you make that up? If you did get that from a dictionary which didn’t give you the real meaning, it is a very bad dictionary.
** From The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language: Third Edition:**
That was the entire definition, save the pronunciation, which contains characters which I don’t know how to type. As you can see, there is no mention of an “incest taboo”. 
Man, this must be the twilight zone. I don’t know which is more bizarre: the question in the original post; the attempts to actually answer the question; the break out of a non-sequitur bitch fight which apparently comes from some long standing fued I’m not aware of.
Keep it in the pit, kiddies.
Peace.
I have discovered that I not only dislike the sound of the ahem word I hate the sight of it on the screen. I become upset. However, in my short time on/in The Straight Dope I’ve used too many of the FBI’s favourite words (sect, motherfucker, safety pins etc) - if there was intelligence here they’d be gathering. So I won’t be drawn into feuds or reminiscing about my days in the little log cabin with Ted. But if there is one thing I know about people who use the ahem it’s that they don’t like people “expressing doubt or warning” back at them. So I can be pretty sure that if I type ahem all over this screen I will get a reply from someone who is offended by this. And then I won’t be the last poster for a change. By the way what happened to the Abba guy - Bjorn? Was he considered a feuder as well?
Here goes: ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem
G. Nome,
I’ve thought long and hard about whether I should respond to this post or mercifully let it die. In the end my thirst for knowledge got the better of me so I had to ask, “What does the FBI have against safety pins.”
Thanks in advance for taking the time to answer this. I know you’d much rather be on a ledge or in a clock tower.
LT
I’ve thought long and hard about saying “diapers” believe me. I don’t even know current FBI interrogation protocol - is it underwear or no underwear? I try to stay away from clocktowers. That’s how I could go walking in the moonlight last night - something a convicted teenage killer never will be able to do. I hope you’re right. Maybe child and adult bullying doesn’t exist in the form I’ve tried to describe. You convincingly find the ahem thing unintelligible. Look under the subject heading More Penis Questions (still more if you want more) for a better FBI/safety pin answer. Thank you for asking.