Into a bunny, yes. If you want other animals, you’ll have to go see Dave next door. Bring beer.
How many roads must a man walk down?
None. Buy a car.
Q: WTF?
The garden guy told you not to plant so many zucchinis.
Well, is it “all fall down” or is it “all go under?”
It’s niether. The propper phrase is “all down to the dirt.”
Whats that on the side of your face? No, the other side. Yeah, that. What is it?
It’s nothing, I swear, Mom. Honest, it’s nothing. Nothing. It’s in my hair, too? It’s…hair gel, yeah, hair gel. I just forgot.
What’s the sound of one heart breaking?
This (Warning: audio file)
Where does the butterfly go when it rains?
To his/her happy place.
Why didn’t picker’s link work?
The file was moved by aliens involved in an enormous conspiracy that works day and night to make picker look bad. This is big, baby. Goes all the way to the White House.
Why did I wake up so goddamn early? Now what do I do?
Go for a run. You could stand to lose a few 
Can I touch it?
Hell no! You broke yours off already!
Why is the paint on my floor still tacky?
Well, matters of taste are subjective, but I think the pink flamingo stencils are a little much.
Why is there snow falling on April 24?
God is defrosting Heaven’s Kitchen.
Why am I still awake?
Inability for your mind to shut off, I’d guess.
Why can’t the local streets be laid out on a grid?
Because that would be too damn easy and the local Map Mafia wouldn’t make such a huge profit selling you maps and taxi rides.
Why do I keep answering these questions?
Because it fills the voids in your life.
How do I get six-pack abs?
Stuff the six-pack down the front of your pants.
Now what?
Stick the 6-pack in his socks.
How do I combat prank calls?
Stop listing your name in the phone book as Albertinacan Prince.
How can I go back in time?
Host a 1920s-themed house party. I’ll come as a tough-guy detective; you can jump off the third-floor balcony.
Why have I been spending so little time on the SDMB lately?
Been busy with something else, perhaps?
Why is there so much to do, and so little done?