Nothing, they all taste the same 
Especially with A-1 Bold.
A train leaves Chicago at 5:45 and travels at 200mph. A train leaves LA at 7:30 and travels at 175mph. When and where will the switch agent fall asleep and the trains crash?
Sadly, the train leaving LA was heading due west, and hit the ocean at around 7:45. The question is, therefore, moot.
What’s in the box?
A severed finger, covered in chili.
How will I recognize Opportunity’s knock?
David Beckham’s right foot.
Who’s your daddy?
It’s the one you’ll hear while you are in the bathtub.
You are.
How do I get rid of the song that keeps playing in my head?
“I want a hippopotamus for Christmassssss. Only a hippopotamus will doooooo.”
Where has the morning gone?
Out the window, along with the baby AND the bathwater.
How do I stop myself from killing cher3 for putting that frigging Hippopotamus song in my head?
You can’t.
Exectly how relieved should I be that I don’t know cher3’s hippopotamus song?
So relieved, you want to click on this link. Immediately.
Why did I do that?
The words to describe it do not exist.
Can you tell me how to get rid of junk without going to the landfill?
When moving house, move yourself, but not it. The new tenants will appreciate it.
What was the real meaning of RFC 1?
It was host software. It was provided to keep you from using the guest towels. But that didn’t stop you.
What are you going to do with all those soiled guest towels?
Stuff 'em behind the bathroom books.
Why does it hurt when I do this?
Beacuse the human body was never intended to twist into that dimension or wear those colours together.
Why is Beth such a beautiful name?
Because it belongs to me.
Why do my porkchops never turn out right?
'Cause you’re doing them wrong, Einstein. Stick to sausages.
Why was Brainiac green?
He’s not, you are just too tripped out on acid to know what color he is.
How many whisky shots did I take?
One less than you should have.
Now where did I put my pants?
On top of the dryer.
Can you change a $10?