I did. Deal with it.
How much is too much?
That much. No, a little bit more… a tiny little bit more… just a smidgen more now… There! That’s too much.
Apples or oranges?
Oh, oranges, absolutely. Fights scurvey.
How can I make the swelling go down?
Think of Karl Rove.
What is this? No, get closer. Is it contagious?
For the record, not only has the swelling gone down, I think it imploded!
Not if I slice it off. Hold still.
Paper or plastic?
Regards,
Shodan
Paper. That way they can’t follow the money trail.
Where do we go from here? And should we realy care?
Hell, probably.
Only if you care about RESCUING YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL!
So, do I switch the battery in my MP3 player right away, or take my chances?
Wire it into the mains with bare metal as soon as possible.
Is this a dagger I see before me?
Yup! Part of Hasbro’s “Li’l Psycho Playset.”
Which is worse?
Both of them. Now move away.
Is “thirty minutes or it’s free” really constitutionally guaranteed?
No, the hooker was lying to you.
My wife says I am a terrible lover. Should I take her word for it, or seek a second opinion?
Regards,
Shodan
Depends on whether her nose is growing and/or insurance will pay for a second opinion.
Did termites kill my tree?
Depends on if your tree is dead or not.
Which way to Penn Station?
For the real thing, step into my time machine and head back to the early 1960’s. Meet you under the clock.
How can I get Robert Redford’s autograph?
Pay $7.95 + shipping here on ebay
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=104423&item=7509477070&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW
Don’t you hate pants?
Only when the dog drools excessively.
237 mL? What kind of a size is that for a Pepsi can?
A cheap one 
Where do I go from here?
Try East Orange- it’s nice this time of year.
Where be the buffalo dogs of yesteryear?
Over there, behind the slightly yellow-tinted anachr… oh, the buffalo dogs. Sorry, don’t know.
What’s the difference between “tune in”, “turn on” and “burn out”?