Shove cottonballs up your nose so that the histamines can’t get in and affect your allergies. Sure, you look silly but you’re on the ball! ;j
I’m having trouble in Trig class. Anyone know the definitions of Sin, Cos, and Tan?
Sin: The product of shouldn’t X wanna.
Cos: 1) The reason wherefore (Cos I said so!) 2) A family member or close friend. (Whassup, Cos?)
Tan: The process of defeating expensive anti-wrinkle creams with free UV rays.
<psychic mode on>TellMeI’mNotCrazy I can’t possibly recomend you trying to do such an act with the Popes dead body, please see a psychiatrist or a priest.
Q: How can I solve world hunger and irradicate all infectious diseases?
Fried germs for everyone!
How can I stop farting? blaat
Q. How can I stop farting? blaat
A. Have a titanium O-ring surgically implanted in your anal sphincter. Remain standing at all times.
How can I remove spyware from my hard drive when it comes back every couple of days, even after I run “Hijack This”?
I think it was mentione earlier but it’s worth repeating… Take a picture of your bare fat ass and stick it to your bathroom mirror, coffee machine, fridge door and car dashboard.
How do I work on a better “I care” face for problems encountered at the office?
Stop downloading the spyware.
Care.
Question: How can I help get a libertarian elected president?
Connect TENS unit electrodes to your genital, and switch on the current whenever someone comes to you with a problem. You will soon teach yourself to associate office problems with sexual gratification and will have no problems with an “I care” or even “I just came” face.
kaylasdad99 buy a new hard drive every couple of days, they are quite cheap. Oh and attatch a TENS unit’s electrodes to your genitals just for the fun of it.
Q. How can I make the batteries in my TENS unit last longer?
A: Adopt the campaign slogan “Pot in Every Pot”
Q: How do I purge my awful memories of the Badnarik / Campagna 2004 campaign?
Connect a TENS unit to his/her genitals, and apply a current whenever he/she gives a political speach. The emmence grin and good humour of his/her speaches will ensure rapid election (erection?).
Q. How do I cure electric burns caused by my TENS unit?
Q. How do I cure electric burns caused by my TENS unit?
Use it on someone else.
How can I prevent myself from going insane when my cow-orker has the either the “Light Rock” or the “Top 40” radio station on all day?
Sing along. Loudly. Off key.
My boss just told me he quit. How do I get his job… but more importantly, his office!
Take advantage of the fact that possession is nine-tenths of the law. Seize his office and job, beofre someone else can.
How do I power something that requires AA batteries with AAA batteries?
Use the algebraic law where 3 x AA = 2 x AAA.
How can I get SusanStoHelit to send me a copy of the picture she puts on her alarm clock?
Offer her $10,000,000.00 for the picture.
What’s the best way to spread gossip?
Tell three not-very-good friends “I didn’t tell you this, but…”
How do I learn to type?
A: For gorillas who’ve grown tired of smashing Samsonite luggage, here are a few pointers.
This is what it looks like in human form.
Q: Should I have the rice, baked potato or french fires with that?
Play 1980’s text adventure games. You will also learn what a Gazebo and a Gru are.
What should I get my 15 year old nephew for his birthday?
The Zork Trilogy. Tell him it’s cutting edge.
How do I kill a lurking grue?
Q. What should I get my 15 year old nephew for his birthday?
A. Have a titanium ring surgically implanted in hi~-- sorry, belay that.
A nice Gameboy.
How can I persuade Michaela that eggs are good food?