…that should really read:
according to my ex, magdalene…
comma’s are so damn important…
Go go go Joseph you know what they say
Hang on now Joseph you’ll make it someday…
It annoys my friends IRL enough.
“Oh Mandy! Well, you came and you gave without taking. But I sent you away, O Mandy…”
Anybody have the lyrics to “Muskrat Love” handy?
You make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel…
like a natttur-al wooooooman . Woman.
Annoyed yet ? I am.
Feeeelings, nothing more than feeelings trying to forget my feelings of looooooove. FEEEEEEEEEELINGS whoa whoa whoa. . .
Don’t touch my radio.
Your radio is stupid.
Your stupid.
Your mother’s stupid.
Mooommyyy, Justin called you stupid!
An annoying song I wrote myself
My wife left me
for a jerk with more moneyyyy,
Took my kids and my dog and my truuuuck.
Now I’m sittin’ at home
by myself, all alone,
and Lord I sure do miss that truuuuck.
Thank you…thank you…thank you very much.
“I’m gonna buy me a Ford truck and cruise it up and down the road!”
Country western songs make really annoying marketing gimmicks. I think you may have a winner.
:: Farts ::
:: Blames it on Coldfire ::
:: Leaves ::
particle man, particle man,
doing the things a particle can.
what’s he like? it’s not important.
particle man.
is he a dot, or is he a speck?
when he’s under water, does he get wet?
or does the water get him instead?
nobody knows, particle man.
triangle man, triangle man.
triangle man hates perticle man.
they have a fight, trianlge wins.
triangle man.
universe man, universe man.
size of the entire universe, man.
usually kind to smaller man,
universe man.
he’s got a watch with a minute hand,
a millennium hand, and an eon hand.
and when they meet, it’s happy land
powerful man, universe man.
person man, person man,
hit on the head with a frying pan.
lives his life in a garbage can.
person man.
is he depressed, or his he a mess?
does he feel totally undressed?
who came up with person man?
degraded man, person man.
triangle man, triangle man.
triangle man hates person man.
they have a fight, trianlge wins.
triangle man.
oh yeah, the song is by They Might Be Giants
[avoiding copyright accusations]
This is the song that does not end…
I’m sorry, but I could not force myself to type any more of that song.
But at least it’s not the one about the cake, right?
I am now going to share my 100,000 word post proving that evolution is false and that the biblical account of creation and the Great Flood is true. I will repeat every argument that has been repeatedly shot down before, and also manage to turn the whole thing into an appeal to turn your lives over to Jesus before you’re left behind by the nearing Rapture.
(Post deleted by moderator)
Hillary! is such a fat-assed phoney.
Waaaaaaaa!
I aM tHe CoOlEsT pErSoN iN tHe WoRlD aNd YoU’rE nOt!!! hAhAhAhAhA!!!
It was some of the most fucked up shit I have ever seen in my life.
It starts out with these kids sitting in a tent in their backyard. I don’t know, they were camping or something. They are telling each other scary stories. The first few of these are just urban legends. They have the “Kentucky Fried Rat”, which is the story of a lady who goes into a chicken place and is served a rat all breaded up and deep fried. There was also a story about an old man who is scared to death by an amusement park haunted house ride. There was another popular urban legend in there too, but I forget what it was. Oh by the way, the janitor was the monster if you hadn’t figured that out.
Oh, one of these kids is Sean Astin, the kid from Goonies.
Then Sean Astin tells a story about a runty little kid who is picked on by bullys at school. During one such encounter the little kid is tied up and hung from the ceiling by this bunch of bullys. Not hung by the neck, he’s not dead or anything. Anyway, the kindly old janitor comes to rescue him. He also tells the kid not to worry since he’ll be looking after him. So the kid goes to class, and his unholy bitch of a teacher gives a surprise quiz. During the quiz the kid has to go the bathroom. So he goes, and in the bathroom he sees the janitor cart but no janitor. On the cart he finds the janitors face! Then this monster jumps out of nowhere! The kid pisses himself and goes running back to the class. His unholy bitch of a teacher is shocked that he pissed himself and browbeats him in front of the whole class. Anyhoo, the kid convinces the teacher to come to the bathroom with him. She goes in and the monster jumps her and kills her. The kid runs. But he comes up with a devious plan and goes back to class. He tells the bullies that the teacher wants them to come down to the bathroom. They go, the monster eats them all. Later they show the janitor again, he yells at the mom of one of the bullies. Oh by the way, the janitor was the monster if you hadn’t figured that out.
Then we go back to the tent, and the other kid starts telling a story. This one’s about a little fat boy, who nobody loved. It starts on this kid coming home from school. On the way home he breaks into this farmer’s yard and steals some of his fertilizer. The farmer catches him and chases him out of the yard by shooting at him with a shotgun. The kid goes home and runs up to his room without saying hello to his mom. Turns out the kid has quite a little hobby. What he does, is he uses the fertilizer to lure flies into this ingenious trap he has devised with a jar. He then takes his flys down with him to the basement. Here he takes off their wings. Then he glues them onto these amazingly detailed dioramas he has built. One example is a malt shop with all the patrons and workers being the flies. The best one is the church, in which he has a fly crucified on the cross. This whole section of the movie was way too thought out. They pretty much show in detail the fly catching trap. Somebody who worked on this movie must have really had this hobby. Anyway, his parents yell at him for being such a little freak. He then bakes up some cookies which he takes to school with him. With a sob story, he convinces the prettiest girl in school to have one of them. Of course the raisins aren’t raisins, but dead flies. On his way home from school the farmer invites him in. He gives the kid some fertilizer so the kid doesn’t have to steal from him. Little does the kid know, but this is the farmers “special” fertilizer which he uses to grow giant size pumpkins, or some such. The kid goes home to find out his parents know about the cookie incident. They yell at him some more and throw all his precious, precious dioramas away. He yells, then goes to his room to use the fertilizer to catch flies. He falls asleep and has some weird dream sequence. He wakes up to find giant flies in his room! They then proceed to rip his arms off! (You see, this is ironic because he was always ripping their wings off.) Anyway, his parents find him. The last scene of the story is the kid in a hammock with these metal arms.
Oh! I forgot to mention the scene right before Sean Astin’s janitor story. He says, “Do you want to hear a real good story?” To which one of the other kid responds, “This isn’t the one about where you and your friends found that pirate ship, is it?” That part was hilarious because that was the plot of Goonies, the last movie Sean Astin had been in.
Anyway, these kids in the tent argue about the veracity of the stories. Both sides say their stories were true. Then Sean Astin’s dad comes out and it’s the janitor! They proceed to kill the other kids. It was a surprise ending I wasn’t suspecting.
The movie was called “The Willies” and it scared the pants off of me.
A spider arrives for some fun
(which is sure to annoy everyone)
with a limerick so saccharine
you’ll all want to smack her in-
to The BBQ Pit for derision.
-----
—////\\
There was this kid, one summer, his mom gave him a visa card. Anyways, this kid, and me, one summer, rented a car and crashed. This kid, I told him, I told him to sit on a book, sit on a book so he could see out of the car, and he didn’t and we crashed. I told him. So we left the car in a corn field and then this kid just took off and left me in the car, and then this farmer, came out of the field and beat me.
Thats what happened to me and this kid one summer.
Can someone tell me why the world is round, see I’ve got a 3000 word essay to write by tomorrow and I can’t be arsed to find out for myself.
Oh and don’t make it too technical this is the fourth grade after all
I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me…
“I love you,
You love me…”