when you see something dead and you yell to whomever is behind you… “I think we 'ave an eater.”
you see decapitation on TV and comment, “It’s just a flesh wound.”
you actually have a book of Armaments in your copy of the bible.
you think someone with fresh fruit is dangerous.
you see someone swimming, and yell “it’s a witch!!!”
…and ask to weigh them against a duck.
you act as if you’re dying when someone says the word Ni…or “it”.
all questions are asked in 3.
you constantly end sentences with, “Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!”
you’re terrified of rabbits.
whenever you see a rabbit you say “that’s no ordinary rabbit, that’s the most cruel, vile and vicious rodent you ever set eyes on!”
you’re at the grocery and the butcher is wheeling a cart of meat to the counter and you say “Bring out your dead!”
you’ve ever tried to buy a license for your pet fish name Eric.
you’ve actually tried to research the velocity of an unladen swallow… both African and European!
you see a dead animal (especially a bird) and automatically exclaim, “THIS is an EX-PARROT.”
whenever someone begins, “I didn’t expect…” you interrupt with, “Nooobody expects the Spanish Inquistion.”
you have ever told someone to bring a shrubbery before entering your house.
you always refer to yourself as an upper-class twit, and pretend to jump over match boxes.
you search through the TV guide every night, hoping to find the “Twit of the Year” show.
you have learned how not to be seen.
your excuse for when you lose something is “Aaaaaaaaw! The cat’s eaten it!”
you can quote every word from The Quest for the Holy Grail.
you’ve actually won the Quest for the Holy Grail game.
your friends show off their house and you say: “It’s only a model.”
you know the “Philosophers Song” by heart.
…you take college philosophy to learn why Immanuel Kant was a real pissant.
Mom asked you what do you want for dinner and you say, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM!!
every woman you come in contact with, you touch their breasts.
you’re still trying to find a man with three buttocks.
everytime you hear a gun shot, the first thing through your mind is “Noooooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
you tell people that you fart in their general direction.
when counting you always go “1,2, 5( three sir!) 3!!!”
you have ever tried “street climbing”
you keep walking back and forth by someone saying “good morning…good morning…”
you believe your name is Dinsdale and your being chased by a forty foot hedgehog named “Spiny Norman”
you eat, wear, burn, and feed the cat lupins.
When people around you feel queasy after a meal, you casually mention “I didn’t have the fish” and laugh to no one in particular.
you skip through the house making horse sounds with coconuts.
when in a restaurant, you can’t resist taking the napkin, knotting the corners, and wearing it like a hat.
after telling someone your profession, you immediately add “…but I always wanted to be a LUMBERJACK!”
you suddenly change the subject by saying “And now for something completely different…”
when someone asks you a question you say: “I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition.”
you named your website Weasels and Spit
when, after coming in from doing hard work, someone asked you what you’ve been doing you’ve ever replied “I just spent four hours buryin’ the cat”
you have ever responded to someone asking where something is by saying “Is it behind the rabbit?”
your birthday/Christmas wish list has “a holy hand grenade” as your number one wish.
all of your comebacks/insults are in an “outrageous accent.”
somebody wishes to move past you (vehicle, etc.) you quote the bridge scene.
when someone asks your name you say "(in a thundering voice) Some people call me. . . (quieter) [your name here].
if you find yourself saying “NI” to people that you don’t like
you have a perfect cockney accent… and you’ve never been to England
you find yourself saying “tis only a scratch” when you are bleeding to death and laughing about it through the pain
you have all the CD’s with songs on them, and people catch you singing them to yourself.
you watched “As Good As It Gets” and snickered when Jack Nicholson played “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,” not because of the irony of it all, but because you remember the song from “Life of Brian.”
