The Apocalypse Has Been Postponed

[Hottius_Maximus]

I recall that St. Malachy O’Morgan supposedly predicted the “names of all the popes” up until the end times. Like most such literature (read: Nostradamus), the prophecies are incredibly vague and ambiguous. From what I recall St. Malachy O’Morgan claimed that Pope Peter Romanus (or “Peter of Rome”) would be the final pope to usher in the end of the world, and as I recall, it was supposed to be this current pope. HOWEVER, the Bishop of Argentina has chosen the name Pope Francis I. NOW WHAT? NO END OF THE WORLD!? First Nostradamus disappoints us, then Y2K disappoints us, then the Mayans disappoint us, and NOW ST. MALACHY DOES THE SAME THING! What’s going on here!? Can anybody here on SDMB explain the prophecies of St. Malachy to me?

[Suburban_Plankton]

I think the first two paragraphs of the Wikipedia article on the Prophecy of the Popes sum it up pretty well:

@Wikipedia

The Prophecy of the Popes (Latin: Prophetia Sancte Malachiae Archiepiscopi, de Summis Pontificibus) is a series of 112 short, cryptic phrases in Latin which purport to predict the Roman Catholic popes (along with a few antipopes), beginning with Pope Celestine II. The alleged prophecies were first published by Benedictine monk Arnold Wion in 1595. Wion attributes the prophecies to Saint Malachy, a 12th‑century Archbishop of Armagh, Ireland.

Given the very accurate description of popes up to 1590 and lack of accuracy after that year, historians generally conclude that the alleged prophecies are a fabrication written shortly before they were published. The Roman Catholic Church also dismisses them as forgery.[1][2] The prophecies may have been created in an attempt to suggest that Cardinal Girolamo Simoncelli’s bid for the papacy in the second conclave of 1590 was divinely ordained.

So basically, Saint Malachy never made a list; somebody in the late 16th century made it up.

[Morgyn]

Well, damn. And here I was, all looking forward to doing some righteous smiting.

(Work issues. Some people must think I have a magic wand, is all I can say.)

[Hottius_Maximus]

@Morgyn

Well, damn. And here I was, all looking forward to doing some righteous smiting.

(Work issues. Some people must think I have a magic wand, is all I can say.)

I know what you mean.

[Colophon]

@Hottius_Maximus

HOWEVER, the Bishop of Argentina has chosen the name Pope Francis I.

Papal nitpick: Francis, not Francis I.