So, my mom got an email forward from her sister-in-law filled with alarmist predictions about the Asian bird flu. It was apparently put out by Perelandra, the Center for Nature Research. It seemed a little suspicious, so I decided to do some research of my own. For a good laugh, check out their website.
At first, it looks sane enough. Nature Research? Sure, I’m all in favor of researching nature, never mind that I’ve seen fortune cookie fortunes that are more specifically formulated than that title. But for a “center” doing “nature research”, the links to their products catalog, shopping cart, and customer service section were a little bit too prominently placed for my tastes. And the more I poked around their website, the weirder it got. Their so-called “Pandemic Preparedness Kit” consists of a number of mysterious “System Balancing Solutions”, whose ingredients I cannot for the life of me determine from the site. The “MBP Immune System Balancing Solution”, for example, is supposed to “have been created by nature from a combination of twenty-seven different plants, minerals and natural gases found in sea and on land.” That’s as specific as they get. Created by nature? Found in sea and on land? Get outta here! I especially liked some of the testimonials:
Can I get that with a side of post hoc? It’s like, if it worked for E.W.R., who knows what’s in store for me?!?
But for me, the line was really drawn when I stumbled upon the section that outlines the “Flower Essence Restabilizing Process”, which apparently needs to be performed on the solutions to restore their power after being passed through an airport x-ray. After reading the following from that section, it seriously crossed my mind that this whole website is some kind of elaborate joke:
The Deva of Flower Essences? Pan? the White Brotherhood? My higher self? What the hell is this company?? Has anyone else heard of them?
And here my mom’s sister-in-law had stated that the forward she sent was intended to inform rather than to scare. I wish I had the nerve to reply to her, saying that, I don’t think the company that produced this document is intending to inform or to scare, but rather to sell products, which, as she might realize if she had bothered to check their website, make scientology look like the pinnacle of modern medicine.