Several months ago we were given Stanley, a miniature Schnauzer by relatives who moved to a Vancouver condo from a house in Dallas, Texas. They had two other Schnauzers but Stanley couldn’t adapt to the change and nipped several men in the elevator. He was constantly stressed.
Stanley was rescued around two years ago lost in a hailstorm. He was brought to a shelter where subsequently my two sisters in law (lesbian couple) adopted him at the approximate age of four months. Everything was hunky dory until the move to Vancouver.
Well Stanley and our other dog Midge get along just fine. Stanley gets along fine with my wife and daughter. But Stanley is scared shitless of me and that hasn’t changed since he moved into our household. He growls and barks when I come through the door. He keeps his eye on me at all times. He keeps a distance of at least 10 feet between himself and me at all times Its even worse when no one else is home. He won’t eat the food I give him even if I leave the room with Midge and close the door. In fact I sense a greater fear when I try to feed him. I’ve tried very hard to get through to him and the rest of the family have tried to intercede but to no avail.
Clearly, there’s some asshole out there who seriously abused my dog. Did I mention that Stanley is obviously not a purebred? I think that may have been a problem for Stanley’s initial owner. Well, it isn’t just Stanley’s problem now, its mine as well, and I’m getting angrier and angrier by the day, and frustrated by my inability to type some creatively choice filthy derogatory words to describe this asshole.
It looks like some special obediance training for Stanley is in order. He shouldn’t be aggresive to you, the Alpha male, in the situation he’s in. He needs to learn deference to you.
Outside of normal “sit” “lay down” “stay” exercises rewarded by treats I’d say you need to get this dog under control via some obediance training.
Regardless of what people say, whether you’re male or female, YOU are the master of the animal, and in the case of dogs, that relationship needs to be established.
Our rescuee, the younger of our 2 cats, was afraid of me for several years.
I’ve always given cats friendly petting with my toes, on ther heads, bellies, down their backs.I also like to play-fight cats with a gloved hand .
This poor guy was terrified by contact with my foot–apparently his last owner kicked him regularly. Grab for that cat’s belly with the big glove on, and he’d be two rooms away from you in nothing flat.
My wife could raise her voice in the kitty’s presence with no consequence.
If I called to the wife from kitchen to living room that I was getting a drink or snack and did she want one ,too, that cat would run for his life for one of his favorite cowering places.
6 years later, he’s not nearly so nervous, but it took about 3-4 years of never being struck by me and getting used to my loudness to get him to chill out.
Have patience with an abused animal. They do eventually re-learn trust.
And I think your advice on patience is valid. I think we’ve had a breakthrough Stanley and I. Shortly after I started this thread I was making myself a Dagwood. When I pulled out the cheeze slices (real cheeze) Stanley got very close to me. I took a slice and bent down to offer him a bite and he took it without hesitation. Since then, I’ve repeated this offering several times with complete success, but he still won’t accept food from me. Just now I put a cheeze slice on top of his food. There was a little hesitation, then he ate the cheeze but still ignored the food. Go figure. But I can tell you that since the initial cheeze offering, his general fear has greatly diminished. I sense he dearly wants our relationship to improve as he now lies down several feet away from me when I’m at the computer and looks at me forlornly.
There’s literally nothing quite like a dog’s forlorn look, is there?
My boxer Riley has that look from time to time when he feels I’m not paying him enough attention, and it’s the darndest thing. He could have just pooped on my bed and I melt when he looks at me like that.
If there were a human comparison, it would be the expression on the kid’s face that’s close to being picked last for a team sports game, all kicking his rocks and such.
It doesn’t really sound like an alpha male thing, but more like he’s just shit-scared of you. Whoever was “taking care” of him before must have been a real jackass. But I agree with most of the other posters, you’ll win him over eventually. Definitely on the right track with the cheese. Food=love for dogs. And for some humans… for example, me (eligible ladies - please take note), but that’s an aside.
I’m definitely not an animal psychologist, but I have yet to meet a dog that I can’t convince to love me (including that angry three legged guy that terrorized the other kids who had my paper route before me when I was growing up - coupla sausages stolen from mom & dad’s fridge, and he was my buddy for years).
On preview:
Absolutely. They are seriously some heart-on-their-sleeve kinda animals, aren’t they? Especially boxers, for some reason…
My grandparents had a rescue husky who was terrified of men. She was a stray they enticed to stay. First, she would run from anyone, then she’d sneak up and take food that women had left out (never from men), then she was ok around women and kids, then just around my grandfather, and finally around other men in the family. Eventually, she got to where she would only freak out if a strange man showed up alone. If he showed up with a woman she just avoided him, but if he showed up alone she’d aggressively position herself between him and any of the family. We never did get her to stop it. When a guy came to refill the propane tank or check the electric meter, we’d have to tie her up and distract her.
She was eventually comfortable around men who regularly visited, but it took years. We never figured out where she came from, and could only figure that a man had abused her in the past. She did definitely become my grandfather’s dog, though, following him everywhere, laying her head in his lap, etc. (He’s the kind of quiet old guy who dogs and children follow after hopefully.)
So I’ve got sympathy, and I just wanted you to know that I’ve seen one dog be rehabilitated after behavior like that. I can’t offer any good advice other than patience, but you probably already know that, and I’m glad you’ve already made some progress.
I don’t know if you can automatically assume this to be the case.
Story.
My sister and her family adopted a mutt from the local shelter, raised him since he was but a wee pup and I can reasonably attest that he was never abused / mistreated in any way by my sister, her husband and their two daughters.
For whatever reason though, this dog took a serious misliking toward my younger brother. On the occasions that he visited the dog would stay low to the ground with hackles up and would give off a low, evil, menacing growl. In time, the dog learned to barely tolerate my brother but would leave any common room they occupied scurrying away with his tail between his legs (the dog I mean, not my brother).
For some animals, they have people who emit a strange mojo. For this Schnauzie, you might be one of them.
It’s not that hard to get a dog to fear something, even accidentally. I’ve read somewhere that wolves experience neophobia, and I think it has something to do with that.
I traumatized my old dog Kodi. She was maybe two or three when I had just gotten a package in the mail. It was something pretty fragile, so that meant bubble wrap. I was gleefully popping away and did not notice that she was acting scared. By the time I did, she was really freaking out.
Before this, she had not been afraid of anything. But, after that, she was afraid of anything that made similar sounds- when we had fires she would stay far away because of the popping, she hid in the hall upstairs during rain, and fireworks were a no.
It took a while, but she would slowly stay in the room when the fireplace was going, or join us when we had a fire in the backyard, but she was always cautious. She still hid during rain and fireworks.
I did always feel bad about that. Still do, actually.
Something you may want to do is contact a rescue (probably won’t matter what breed they work with) and ask them for suggestions, most of the work very closely with abused animals and will probably have alot of suggestions for you.
We had a dog a few years ago that was terrified if a man held a large stick. This was a big dog and if I had to sweep the kitchen he’d go fetal. He was acquired under mysterious circumstances rather than from a rescue organization but it isn’t hard to make some reasonable guesses. We didn’t do anything more than pet him and reassure him when he got scared. It took a couple of years but he did get over it.
Yeah, Just Some Guy, my dog Jasmine is 7 years old, and still terrified of “sticks.” I think that when she was 3 months old and picked up by the “pound,” they must have used the noose-on-a-stick thing on her.
