This thread brings up this claim. I’ve been to a quite a few weddings and only one for a surgeon’s daughter was around this level. I know there are huge “Runaway Bride” style 100,000 + weddings out there, but most of the middle class and upper middle class weddings I've been to look to be around 5,000 - $ 15,000 or so re the expenses for the church, reception and other associated expenses. Is this $26,000 + claim justifiable?
Yeah, that’s what I read. Mine cost $3000.
I wonder if there is a selection bias issue at play here–i.e, if they are counting weddings like mine (him, me, courthouse, $40 dinner afterwards (big money at the time), told friends and family later) or if basically the survey only counted weddings that were pretty elaborate to begin with–i.e., if they polled people who used a wedding planner (good way to get a list) or people who announced their wedding in the paper (same). I just can’t believe that if you called everyone who bought a marriage license, in a given year, the average cost of the ceremony would be that high.
The other possiblity is a sort of “no true Scotsman” type of issue–simpler things (we got married at the courthouse, we eloped to Vegas, we had a BBQ and a suprise ceremony at the end) don’t count as “real” weddings and so don’t drive down the price.
Also, remember it’s too the wedding industry’s advantage to suggest that the “average” wedding is more expensive than it is, simply because that encourages people to spend more, thinking it’s expected.
I tried googling various combinations of wedding, cost, average and median, but didn’t really find anything useful, and no cites at all on median costs.
I did find this site which says:
These are surveys by bridal magazines, who would obviously have a vested interest in trying to convince people they should spend more on a wedding.
Also, I don’t think their median of 186 guests is realistic. I’ve been to about 15 weddings in my life (I’m in my mid-20s), and the biggest one (by far) I’ve attended was maybe 125 guests - most were about 50 to 75 guests, and several were around 30 guests. Then again, I’m in Canada and YMMV. That article was talking about American weddings - does 186 guests sounds like a realistic median to anyone else?
Some friends of mine had a $46,000 wedding.
My wedding cost a couple of hundred bucks and all the attendees had more fun.
I’d say absolutely yes.
My sister’s wedding was what I’d consider a fairly modest middle class wedding in NJ last fall, I know it ran her and her husband close to $20K. My other sister had her reception in an Vet’s Hall 5 years ago, and she had a budget of about $6K. I ran off to Vegas with my husband and 50 of our closest friends and family members for a ‘destination wedding’, and while our budget was originally about $5K, we ended up spending closer to $7K, but at least ours included airfare and hotel, etc.
When my husband and I decided on a low budget wedding, I realized pretty quickly it was just about impossible to do in this area (Sonoma/Napa/wine country.) I was trying to go bare bones and cutting corners left and right, and there was absolutely no way we could have had a pretty basic wedding and reception, say DJ, buffet style dinner, etc., for under $5000. It would have been nearly impossible to do it for less than $10,000. The locations of our families (most of his here, all of mine on the East Coast) and friends and the logistics of getting everyone together was another factor, so I figured ‘who doesn’t want to go to Vegas?’ Scrapped all the leg work I’d done in this area, found a sweet wedding package on ebay, and booked our flights. Worked out swimmingly.
I’ve been to just about every type of wedding, firehouse receptions, grand affairs with bands and ice sculptures, courthouse weddings, backyard weddings, you name it. Some of the larger ones, with 200+ guests, I wouldn’t be surprised in the least to hear they were in the $75K-$150K range or more.
Does the 26K include alimony?
Again, you are only counting it as a “wedding” if you have those things (food, music, extended family and friends present). Which is fine, but it creates an artifical arguement: if something only counts as a wedding if it includes things that drive the price over 5K, then of course the ‘average’ price is going to be way over 5k: you’ve ruled out all the things that work to drive the price down.
I just feel confident that there are pregnant 20 year-olds in your area who manage to transform their status from “single” to “not-single” for under 5k: if you count those events as “weddings”, the average has to be much, much lower.
It’s be interesting to see if these stats are for just the raw average (ie mean) or the median cost of a wedding.
Been to three weddings, 200ish, 300ish, and a 500 one just last month. That one felt like a county fair.
That’s it. I’m definitely convincing the girl I eventually meet to elope. It just sounds easier (not to metion cheaper.)
It may be that the really high-end weddings are relatively few in number, but these weddings drive the mean up. The median price might be better at describing the “middle” cost of weddings.
I didn’t pay that much for my first 5 weddings combined!
I do have kind of a hard time buying that number. I’ve been to a lot of weddings, and most of them could not have cost anywhere near that much. Of course, I used to sell wedding cakes, and plenty of those brides were spending that much, but it was a pricey wedding-cake shop; the many brides who got their cake-decorating friend to make the cake didn’t even enter the door.
We spent about $500, plus the $400 for a nice suit for DangerDad to wear to interviews as well as get married in. Home-sewn dress (lots of compliments!), no music or buffet, free but beautiful reception hall, and discounted pricey wedding cake.
It’s possible that my cousin’s wedding last summer single-handedly drove up the average price to that much. She must have spent a fortune…
I’d believe that it could be close to that. I joined a wedding site four and a half years ago when I was planning my own, and many of the brides were talking about wedding extravaganzas that were costing them in excess of $20,000 (US). I recall one who posted pictures of the “cake table”, where they had something like 6 wedding cakes so there would be enough for all of the guests.
I just logged in to the wedding site to see if there was any information about how much they are spending, and I found a Poll with the following information:
I guess that contradicts my theory, as the person who wrote the poll didn’t even think it was worth breaking down amounts over $15000 but 27% over 15k is still a lot… The second respondent is getting married in 10 days from now and said that her wedding was going to be in the $25-30k range, with 220 guests invited. Most of them seem to be including the cost of the honeymoon in their estimates. Reply number 23 said she spent 50k not including rings, gifts or honeymoon on 150 guests for her wedding in Boston, but she had originally invited 400 which she said could have blown the cost out to 80-100k. All I can say is EEK!
Bah. All a giant waste. Elope!
Elope!!!
Really? Iris and I had our wedding for around $5000, and we were about $1000 over due to a mistake on our part ordering food. We had around 90 people. I think I can still break it down as well. It was $200 for the pool rental, yes we got married in a pool. The DJ was around $600, we got lucky and got a sale, he would have been around $1100. The food and hall rental was $4000 give or take. It should have only been $3000, but we paid to have three of each meal for all the guests for some reason. The good thing is they give the unsued food to a homeless shelter.
I think that people just have to have the best place where everyone else gets married. Iris and I did our reception in the American Legion hall, we saved tons of money, and everyone I’ve talked to had a great time.
I think MandoJo’s post above was spot-on. If these surveys from bridal magazines/wedding planners/etc. tend to overcount those shindig weddings that pull out all the stops rather than taking into account all those who do it on the cheap, well of course the average will be skewed upwards.
Me: Church wedding; 32 guests. Just the two of us in front of the preacher. We did want traditional wedding attire, so yes on the bridal gown and tux. No attendants (i.e., “wedding party”). We just walked ourselves down the aisle and stood in front of the preacher.
Cost:
$150 for the preacher
$300 for the flowers
$600 package deal included wedding dress rental, tux rental, and hair/makeup session for her
ceremony music (piano and a singing of the “Our Father” by the pianist)–free
photography by a church friend–free
$150 to get the film developed
$600 for meal/wine at a restaurant (we reserved a room and had them prepare one of three entrees chosen by each guest ahead of time)
$200(?) for the cake
So, that comes to about $2000 and we had a really nice day. No, we didn’t have a DJ or a dance hall. Just a nice time with close family and friends.
I’m not sure how and what other people count as a “wedding cost.” Does film developing count? If you take out that and the cost of the clothes we rented, the wedding and reception themselves came to about $1200.
And you know what? We are just as married as someone who spent $40,000. My family and friends were there to watch. We’ve got great pictures. And the bride was beautiful.
$26,000?
We spent that on the rose-scented air alone.
As was pointed out to me in the thread linked in the OP, I think it really comes down to the number of guests and the kind of food served.
I’ve been to an awful lot of weddings and they have really ranged in size from about 4 to 400, in formality from t-shirts & jeans to gowns & tuxes, and from no food at all to pizza & beer to sit-down 7 course extravaganzas.
When I was planning my wedding, when people from all walks of life asked how many guests we’d be having, my reply of 150 brought an equal number of “Oh wow, that’s big”/”Oh that’s a nice size”/and “Oh a small wedding!” which is one of the things that led me to believe it was a pretty average sized wedding.
Yes, lots of people do the courthouse thing with no fuss and are done, but there are a whole bunch doing the big party, too, and lots in between. As I mentioned in the other thread, many of the halls we looked at required a minimum of 100-150 people, and were often booked literally years in advance – how uncommon can a really big wedding be?
I also mentioned in the other thread how our guest list got to be 150 – and I am still somewhat surprised that so few others here would find themselves in the same position we were – we do have largeish families, but not massive, and between siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and their spouses and children, we were easily at more than 75 – add in about 10 friends each with their spouses and children, and suddenly, there you are.