I like to write bad poetry
I like it very much
It’s fun to make the reader sigh
And give his head a clutch!
And shake his fist and scream and cry
And call me dirty names
In fact, to write bad poetry’s
My very favorite game!
Enjoy!
From the extensive total your tree it surpassses evening on hill snow-covered arrangement internal
thought that it knew the forest,
a person
if those are he.
I …
but how much for him
it is that the house in the village
the east?
It did not consider that,
me the end stops that it observes here
that the forest is completely and snow.
How much for my small horse?
if so that very quickly the forest while it is solidified in that one with the sea
that does not have the farmer,
the strange year of the shock
absorber of shock
of the remuneration
is the darkest
urgent thought of the substance.
It gives vibriert that the bell of whips of the control
the end,
to ask if the disturbance has.
The only other the fine clay of the degree of the layers of the crane
simple of the substance
and like the crude cotton to consider.
The forest is pretty,
is dark and is deeply deep.
Before nevertheless how much for me
the dream in me,
I dream,
I enter before the owner is he the thousands,
he maintains to the promise
and the thousands.
"For what is life but a bowl of pain?
A bowl of pain.
A bowl of pain."
(Not mine; 100 NetPoints for those who know whose it is.)
O thou Bagel,
Doughnut of the mountains!
How to worship thee?
With creamkeys . . .
or with locks?
That was our dilemma in a nutshell. Actually, when Holly asked if they were ‘stupid,’ the bf summed it up nicely with: “Well…they may be badly written…but they’re not stupid…” The best thing about it was that he thought he was being very diplomatic…I just sat there with my jaw hanging open for the longest time.
I love your addendums to this fated-to-be-a-classic poem, btw. I think I’ll suggest that to Holly if I ever see her again. 
Ludovic: That is horrid. I love it. Well done. 
My brother graced the world with the following, and for that I salute him:
Women
Women come in shapes and sizes
In their pants they keep surprises
In their tops they keep their tits
Oh, how I love those women’s bits
Its funny how you can mangle a famous poem through babelfish a dozen times and its still better than most angsty teenagers. I feel like babelfishing some more classics.
This was awful and wonderful at the same time, I salute you! Now you can share my shame. I sent this poem to a crush, not to necessarily woo him, but I am blushing right now just reading it.
Skin
The human skin?
Why, it’s amazin’!
You get a stain -
it’ll wash in the rain
('course it’s not the same).
Burn it, peel it
grow some more.
You can scrape some off of
the guy next door.
Tattoo it, pierce it
if you have the cash.
That’s what cousin Joey did -
too bad he got that rash.
Yup, it’s amazin’ all right
just stop and think awhile,
I think I’ll go out in my birthday suit -
who says I don’t have style?
A poem for you all, extra points if you know whose it is:
Pollution
All around
Sometimes up
Sometime down
But always
Around
Pollution
Are you coming to my town?
Or am I coming to yours?
We’re on different busses, pollution
But we both use petrol
…bombs.
Bathroom Triptych
I.
My grouting’s gone all fuzzy
And I don’t know what I will do.
I thought at first that it was dirt
But now I think it’s mildew.
II.
I do not like my toilet brush;
I like it not one bit.
Although it cleans the toilet well,
Just how do I clean it?
For after every usage
In its holder it will sit,
And in its bristles will be stuck
Those little globs of poop.
III.
They’re in the sink, they’re in the tub,
They’re on the floor and chairs,
And over everything I see
Are tiny little hairs.
Oh good plan. Better poetry through technology.
Here we go. The lyrics of Styx’s “Come Sail Away” babelfished from English to French to English to German to English to Italian to English.
The results are stunningly bad poetry.
It sounds like it might be by Rik from the Young Ones.
Peanut butter,
Bread and jelly
Is so yummy
In my belly
But digested
Is quite smelly.
Correct! I assume I owe you a Coke or something…