So, I’m hangin’ out in the garage playing a little silverball and as usual, my loyal canine companions are just behind me, at my feet. They regularly accompany me out there to prevent me from drinking alone.
Anyway, I’m suddenly smacked in the back of the cranium with a wave of stink that nearly made me lose my ball! “Hey!”, says I, “I recognize that smell!”. I had to Beer-Fart just for a respite. It inspired this thread…
Now, I have few skills and fewer talents, but one thing I do have is a “supernose” which can be a curse as much as a blessing. I can detect odors that most people can’t, determine what they are and where they are coming from. Pretty shitty Super-Power, huh?
I’ve come across a few over my life and actually named a couple. Here they are:
Dachshund Box- Back to the loyal canine companions that are the blame for this post. Let’s start by saying Weiner Dogs stink. Bad. All on there own. And then they like to hunt, kill, roll in offal, livestock crap and whatever else they can get thier little paws into. And now they gotta sleep somewhere. But not in my house! The little darlings are boxed in the Mud Room at night in nice little plastic boxes filled with beds, pillows and blankets. One whiff of these little chambers of horror will knock your socks off and make you see stars. The stink in the garage was the two fiesty little buggers wrestling and stirriing up a double-whammy of Weiner-Dog essence. Not good.
Dishwasher Feet- As a fry, I worked in various Hotel/Casino resturants during the summers. Well, this one place had a dude that worked as a dishwasher who was a little, well, off. The dishwasher area was real hot, and pretty moist, and this guy would wear leather shoes with no socks! Ripe does not began to describe this funk. Sickingely repugnant and wretch-inducing. I shudder when I think about it.
Trucker Butt- Okay, now I admit, I have never smelled a trucker’s ass, but I imagine its pretty bad. Now, these guys are the backbone of America’s transportation system, so who can blame them if they don’t get a lot of time for personal hygeine and thier diets consist of mainly stuff you can get easily on the side of a freeway? Toss in the availability of “Lot Lizards” and the fact that thier jobs demand a pretty much constant stewing of the neither regions in a comefy seat. Not a lot of fresh goin’ on down there. I use this term do describe the odd horrific stench that might waft my way. I imagine the collective ass-crack of the national soccor team of Dontbatheastan after a double-header exihibition match in Panama.
Feel free to add you own.